Depression. Anxiety. Mood disorders. Mental Health. Why are these words still so taboo? Why do so many people feel uncomfortable talking about this topic? Still, in 2024 there is a stigma against mental illness. Sure, it’s getting better as it becomes more socially acceptable. But why? Why should people feel afraid, uncomfortable, or even disgusted about it? They shouldn’t. Mental Illness is prevalent. It’s like having diabetes or another physical illness. Mental illness has the connotation that something is wrong with you. You’re unstable. You’re Crazy. Not fit to be a parent. Should belong in a mental hospital. That’s mostly untrue. For many, it is manageable with medication and therapy. It’s not your fault.
I suffer from mental illness, and one of my goals in life is to help erase the stigma. No one should feel ashamed for having depression/anxiety/bipolar or any other mood or mental disorder. Yet, I sometimes feel this way. It’s unfair. It’s hard and can be all-consuming.
So, I’m here to share some of my story- my struggle with mental health. It’s hard and brave, but I’m doing it so maybe others who struggle won’t feel so alone. I’m scared to put myself out there, but now is the time.
A couple of years ago, I was going through a rough patch. It was odd and came out of nowhere. I have struggled with mental health since adolescence. It was then, in 2021, that I decided to one day write a book about what I’m going through as others might relate to it. That made perfect sense to me. I’m a writer. I write what I know. I should do this.
Then, I wrote. I had great ideas. Then, I wrote some more and stopped writing. It was so hard to think back on those times when I was unwell. It was painful. One day I may finish my book. It would be a huge accomplishment. But, for now, I will share part of my story because I’m not yet strong enough to share ALL of it.
Every day, I wake up and analyze how I feel. Am I going to have a good day or a bad day? I usually know instantly. Will I feel anxious or depressed? Or both? Or will I feel happy and positive, or somewhere in between? It’s a crap shoot. Luckily, I have noticed a pattern in my mood. I have a few good weeks, days, or even great months. Then, the depression hits. I sometimes won’t get out of bed. It’s not for the whole day but for a long time in the morning. I’m a mom, so this can be very problematic. Luckily for me, it’s been a very long time since I felt so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m also lucky I have a very supportive husband who picks up the slack in our household if needed and does his fair share at home every day. I am very thankful for him.
Some days, I feel super anxious. I can’t pinpoint what makes me feel that way. Is it a social engagement coming up? Fear of change? Nothing in particular? Some days, I feel both anxious and depressed. It sucks. My brain is in a fog. I am tired. I want to sleep. I make myself do things I don’t want to do. I handle most of my responsibilities. And by 8 p.m., I’m wiped out. I go to bed early. Sometimes, I even miss dinner. Sleep is better than feeling this way.
And then poof! A few days or a week later, I feel great again. It’s so weird. I have spoken with my doctor about it, and yes, I’m on medication. Mental illness can affect people differently, even those with the same type of illness. The medicine helps, of course, but it’s not always a miracle worker. The therapist I used to see told me that as we get older, mental illness can get worse. The medication you are on can stop working, and you may need a change. It’s a guessing game to see the right combination for you in that time of your life. You can, however, learn techniques to help manage your symptoms and recognize your triggers.
What a bummer. How depressing is that news? (Pun intended) I have learned to make the best of it. When I’m feeling down or sad or even something entirely worse, I have a support system to lean on. When things got bad a couple of years ago, they showed up. My family and friends help me through it. I’m very thankful for them and all they do for me.
When I’m sad, I stop reaching out. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I delay responding to texts. But they do make me feel better. To feel I’m cared about even when I don’t feel like myself or even like myself in that moment. (To be clear, I love myself, but sometimes it’s hard to.)
So, if you have a friend who suffers from mental illness, reach out to them! If you haven’t heard from them in a while, check on them! It could make their day. It could even save their life. Depression is rough. But I get by with a little help from my friends and support system.
When I was in high school and began college, I suffered. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Back then, I don’t think there was a lot of patient education happening for kids with mental illness. I felt so alone, ashamed, and weird. A freak. So many highs and lows. Now, I’m thankful for the knowledge and understanding and how far the field has come to this day. I’m thankful the stigmas are less prominent, but there is still so much work to do.
I have much more to say, but one day, I’ll be brave enough to share it. As my son says in the videos I take of him, “That’s all for now.”
If you or someone you know suffers from mental illness, please reach out to one of the resources below. You are not alone.
National Alliance on Mental Illness: www.NAMI.org Depression Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK Postpartum Depression Helpline: 1-800-PPD-MOMS 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Active Minds: www.ActiveMinds.org Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: www.dbsalliance.org Mental Health America: https://mhanational.org
I’ve always loved reading. I learned how to read near the end of kindergarten. When I was in second grade, I discovered the world of books for the first time. I had just moved to another school and didn’t know many people. The world of reading kept me company and transformed me into faraway lands of my imagination. Of course, I enjoyed being read to as a kid, but once I could read myself, I started to love reading. I remember reading my first chapter book in third grade. “Wayside School is Falling Down.” It was a silly book, but I was so proud of myself for reading it. I used to get chapter books at the bookstore and even asked for some for my birthday. Books were $3 a piece back in the ‘90s! My favorite books as a kid were The Babysitters Club, Judy Blume books, and Sweet Valley High. My babysitter used to bring her old books to me to borrow. I am so glad I learned a passion for reading as a kid. My son seems to have the same passion for books, though he hasn’t learned to read yet. I hope it continues to stay that way for him.
Reading my son a bedtime story.
We used to have contests to see who could read a page the fastest, and I attribute that to how fast I read today. I was always the kid in school who read ahead while reading aloud in class, and I used to prefer reading traditional books over listening to an audiobook. These days, I switch between Kindle books and audiobooks through the Libby library app. I enjoy listening to books in the car or while folding laundry. Since my books are usually not kid-friendly, I can only listen to them alone or using my earbuds. Some people prefer paperback books, but I find them bulky and annoying to read nowadays.
A great way to talk about books is to join a book club! Book discussion can lead to different perspectives on your perception of the book. You may see things one way, and a friend thought of something different. Discussion can lead to a better understanding of the book, and it’s fun to share about a book you love with others. However, sometimes the chosen book is not a genre or story you enjoy.
I’m in two book clubs. One meets on weekday mornings every six weeks, and the other club meets monthly on the weekend. My weekday book club is through my mom’s group. We usually meet at a restaurant for brunch or someone’s house to discuss the book. Near the end, we end up talking about other things. Then, we pick the next book we will read. Someone usually suggests a book, and then we all vote on it. In the past, we have read “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” by Taylor Jenkins Reid, “It Ends with Us” by Colleen Hoover, “Becoming” by Michelle Obama, mysteries, and so many more. We have met for about five years, with new members joining often. I’m looking forward to reading our January book, “The Woman in Me” by Brittany Spears.
My weekend book club is called Rogue Book Club. They have been meeting for over 12 years, and the members have rotated through. Some members have been in the book club for a very long time. I joined in 2021 and haven’t been as active in it as I wish due to scheduling conflicts. Rogue Book Club meets monthly at a different member’s house. The host chooses the book that month, which allows for a wide variety of books and genres. I hope to attend more meetings in the coming year.
With both of these book clubs, I have a lot of books on my reading list! I don’t read every book, and if I haven’t gotten a chance to read the current selection, I often skip the meeting. If I don’t finish the book, I usually still go, but once I find out the ending during the meeting, I don’t finish the book. With so many assigned books, it’s hard to keep up!
I pick and choose what I want to read, whether it is a book club book or a novel I want to read myself. I read my favorite authors and many popular books. I also read book recommendations from friends. I have so many books on my to-read list, that I won’t ever wonder what to read next! I have about 7 or 8 printed books at home I have yet to read and about three on my Kindle app I have not started yet. That does not include my ever-growing Amazon wish list of books to read! Wherever I find an interesting book, I add it to that wish list. There are about two dozen books on there I’d like to read someday.
It takes me a few weeks to read a book, and I often read two at a time. I read one physical or ebook and listen to one audiobook. I get bored reading more than 50 pages at a time, so it takes me a while to finish. It’s hard to read while watching my son, so I find time here or there to get a few pages in. I like to listen to books while folding laundry, making dinner, or even driving.
Buying books can add up quickly, and I try to find the most economical way to read them. One way is the Libby app through my local public library. Most libraries have an app where you can check out ebooks for free and read or listen to them on your device. It has been a lifesaver for me! You can check out a book for 21 days. I often have to check them out twice because I didn’t have time to finish it. There are waits for popular books, and you can put them on hold to wait for your turn. I put a few books on hold at a time so I always have something to read. Often, they all become available at once, and I have to figure that out! You can suspend the hold until you are ready to read it, which is helpful. eBooks transfer from Libby to your Kindle app, so it’s very convenient. Once your 21 days are up, the book is no longer available in your app. I listen to the audiobooks directly through Libby.
If there is a long wait, or if the book is unavailable from the library, I will buy the book on Kindle or even a paperback. Often, Costco is the least expensive place to buy a book. I know many people use Audible for audiobooks, and I have used my husband’s account a few times, but I mainly stick to Libby. I used to buy all my books through Kindle, which became very costly. Thank goodness for free books on Libby!
So, what is on my reading list?
I recently enjoyed:
Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid Maybe Someday and Maybe Now by Colleen Hoover The Husbands by Chandler Baker Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo The Guest List by Lucy Foley The Summer Place by Jennifer Weiner Meant to Be by Emily Giffin Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry (RIP)
On my ever-growing to-read list:
Never Never by Colleen Hoover and Tarryn Fisher Forever Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid The People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry Mad Honey by Jody Picoult The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham Winter Street by Elin Hilderbrand The Housemaid by Freida McFadden Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover The Measure by Nikki Erlick Dreamland by Nicholas Sparks Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng #IMOMSOHARD by Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley After You by Jojo Moyes
And so much more!
I hope this post inspired you to pick up a book and read it. I hope you discovered new authors you haven’t heard about or book recommendations to try.
I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on being one. I planned to return to work or find a new job where I felt more valued and had flexibility for a parent. Then my son was born prematurely, and I felt the need to stay home to keep him safe. I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone the entire day. It’s been five years, and I savor our time together. He will never be little again, and I feel blessed to be able to stay home.
As with most anything, there are positives and negatives to any situation. Staying home means spending all day in my pajamas with my kid sometimes. It means not always having a schedule (though I put my child on a daily schedule with naps and mealtime). It means we can go to the park whenever we want and hang out with friends often. On the other hand, I often felt isolated. Some days, we didn’t have anyone to see or any playdates. Those days often were boring and mundane. I would go to Target with my baby just to leave the house. I craved adult interaction, which I found in my moms’ group, but I would still watch the clock waiting for my husband to get home from work. Mothers sometimes lose their purpose after having kids, especially stay-at-home moms. I know I’m still looking for mine.
When my son turned 2 (in 2020), I jumped at the chance of putting him in preschool a few days a week. I couldn’t sit at home with him all day every day and wait until my husband got home from work. The pandemic was very hard on everyone. I feel lucky that I was isolated for only two months. Living in Georgia, our state opened up earlier than most. I went to the park with my moms’ group and interacted with friends. We were nervous and worried about getting COVID but were going crazy staying in our homes all the time without anyone other than our young children. Zoom playgroups do NOT work. I know from experience!
Those parents who stayed home every day with their kids and saw no one in person, I don’t know how you did it. Those who did virtual school AND worked a the same time, I applaud you. They were trying times, and I think we all did what we did to survive. I’m so thankful we are in our new normal.
It was a hard decision to put my son in preschool during COVID. Being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing but also can be very isolating. My child is a handful sometimes, and I needed a little break to get errands and housework done without interruption and see a friend or two. He loves school, and I don’t regret a thing.
Babies don’t keep. My son recently turned FIVE, eek! He graduated Pre-K in May. Adjusting from attending school three days a week to five was hard on me. He is my only child, and I do not work outside the home (yet). You wouldn’t think four hours a day of free time is a bad thing. (Well, less than that because I spent a LOT of time driving back and forth from his preschool, which is far from our house.) I have been struggling to find things to fill up my time.
My Son’s First Day of Preschool.Nathan playing at school.Preschool Graduation
I’m lonely. I try to stay busy and see friends, run errands, do laundry, read books, write and journal, etc. I do all these things, yet I STILL feel lonely. I crave social interaction, and isolation is not healthy for me.
Going into the last school year, I knew I needed to volunteer or find a job. Things didn’t work out where I felt I could work. I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and putting myself back out there is hard. Here we are as another school year approaches, and I’m still unsatisfied. I’m still lonely. I still don’t have a sense of purpose other than “just a mom.”
My husband and I decided that I would look for a job in the fall once our son enters kindergarten and we get used to the new routine. I get to enjoy one more summer with our son before I go back to work, likely part-time. With mental health struggles, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Health is so important, and I’m scared to re-enter the workplace. I’m nervous about handling a new job when feeling down or depressed. I’m scared of what the added stress will do to my health. But deep down, I know I can do it. I worked for over ten years before leaving the workplace to focus on my family. Now is the time.
A few years ago, I wrote a piece, “More Than Just Mom.” This quote from that article still resonates with me today.
“From this point going forward, I’m going to set a goal for myself. I’m going to start focusing on myself. This doesn’t mean I won’t give my all as a mother, because I will. It means I need to start practicing self-care and recreating my sense of identity. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish this yet. Maybe it involves reconnecting with my hobbies. Maybe, it involves writing more often in publications like this one. It may look like taking a class or getting a part-time job. It could be as simple as reconnecting with friends I have lost touch with. This journey is mine and mine alone. I know that whatever I decide will be the right choice for me.”
Now, I’ll take my advice.
Maybe, I’ll return to school for a continuing education course involving writing or social media marketing. I don’t want to go back to being a secretary, but most of my full-time work experience is in administration. I have a degree in journalism, but it’s challenging to get a writing job that is not freelance. Though, I did my fair share of freelance work.
Working part-time, will I have time to work, finish housework, and have the best of both worlds? Hopefully, I’ll be home when my son gets off the bus from school. We shall see.
I look forward to where I’ll be a year from now, to see how far I’ve come and what I will accomplish. Here’s to the future and what it may bring!
As a teen, I dabbled in poetry. I kept a poetry book that included some poems of importance to me that I found from various sources. I wrote a few of the lyrics myself. I recently discovered the book in a box of old mementos from my youth. I was proud of my meticulously kept compilation of poems. I had a table of contents and made sure to write in my best handwriting. I chose a notebook with a space theme and aliens on the cover. Haha. My nearly 40 compiled poems spanned from 1998 to 2003, from 8th grade until my senior year of high school.
I enjoy looking back on my poems from my youth and remembering what it was like to be a teenager. I open the book and can see myself sitting on my childhood bedroom floor, leaning against my bed, writing and copying down these poems that meant so much to me at the time. I’d share one of the ones I wrote, but let’s just say the poetry was not my best work.
They say children are like sponges. Kids absorb things from their environment. They watch what their parents and caregivers do, what you say to others, how you act, their tone- everything. After becoming a mother, that stuck with me. I want to lead by a good example and teach my child how to be a good person.
I first heard the following poem during counselor training at a summer camp I worked at one summer as a teen. “There are Little Eyes Upon You,” did not resonate with me then. I remember feeling indifferent about the poem, thinking I did not need the training. It was a waste of my time. Yet, I later decided it was essential and included it in my poetry book.
There are Little Eyes Upon You
There are little eyes upon you, and they watch you every day. There are little ears that quickly take in everything you say.
There are little hands all eager, to do everything you do, And a little child who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s idol, you’re the wisest of the wise, In his little mind about you no suspicions ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly, and holds true all you say and do. He will say and do it your way when he’s grown up just like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow, who believes you’re always right. His ears are always open, he watches day and night.
You are setting an example, each day in all you do, For the little child who’s waiting, to grow up just like you.
Author Unknown
Parents often see the world differently than children. Adults often focus on the bad, while children see the good in everyday occurrences. For example, you may think you had a terrible day. Maybe you lost your temper and yelled at your child. Perhaps you were late getting them to school, and they missed their morning activity. You burned dinner. You rushed out early for your work meeting and didn’t get to say goodbye to your child before you left the house. Whatever the reason – it’s probably not as bad as you think. There is time to change what you think is a bad day into a good one. As they say on the popular show This is Us, “There’s no lemon so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade.”
Your child likely does not see the day as a bad one. They remember the good things about their day, like a spontaneous trip to get ice cream or cuddles during a bedtime story. So, the next time you think you had a bad day, remember that your child probably saw it in a different light. Our job as parents is to help guide our kids along the way, but we could learn a thing or two from our kids. I once read, “If we saw the world the way children do, the world would be a better place.” I wholeheartedly agree.
I’m not a parenting expert by far. I strive to achieve and remember the advice that I gave in this post. Sometimes, I yell at my child. I try not to, but I lose my patience quickly when my son misbehaves. I’m sure this happens to many other parents from time to time. Fellow parents, we are all definitely “growing up while raising humans.”
I hope this poem and my post resonated with you. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll write another poem.
Hello, subscribers. I have been waiting to post something since this summer. If we have been chatting, you know this summer was less than stellar for me.
I have been thinking about what to post next. This post is one of the many stories I have been writing in my head all summer long:
I am a Millennial. I consider myself an older millennial or xennial: part of the Oregon Trail Generation if you will. I was born in 1985, smack dab in the middle of the 1980s. I grew up with an older brother. He basically controlled the TV in our household. My brother is an older millennial, so I consider myself one too.
Many would say millennials get a bad rap. We, older Millennials, are nearly 40. (I am about to be 36 and am super happy about it- for the record). Why do we get classified with the younger millennials? I say it is because generations stick together.
When I graduated high school, our generation was called Generation Y. We were the kids of the millennium. We had the best of both worlds. Life before technology. Life before smartphones. I am sure you have seen all seen the memes about this.
Now, we live in a world where we are glued to our phones. As a parent and as a human, this is a difficult situation for me. I talk to Google like she is my friend. My son also talks to Google, which is quite funny.
Anyways, without further ado: here is my list that I have been compiling all summer:
Signs you might be an older Millennial:
New technology is not your strong suit.
You bought your first Chromebook and still have no idea how to start a zoom call on it. (yet, you will figure it out)
You are looking at your printer (which is hooked up and plugged in) that has not worked in years.
You remember your childhood vividly, basing years on the grade you were in/what a wonderful summer you had.
You love the 80s and 90s nostalgia.
You have a memory of riding in the back of a pickup truck.
You also have a memory of riding in the back of a minivan with no seats. Seatbelts seemed optional, but you knew you were supposed to wear them.
Nickelodeon was the best. TGIF was even better.
You may have graduated college during a recession.
You are becoming a parent or raising a child during a pandemic: pandemic toddlers are so resilient.
You are a believer in social justice, at least I am.
You know exactly where you were when you heard of the death of Princess Diana. You remember who you were with at the time.
The same goes for 9/11. May those we lost live on in the memories of their loved ones. Never Forget.
You do not want to settle for any job. It has to be a career job.
You love social media: I remember seeing an actual, The Facebook at the University of Georgia. This yearbook-type publication is where they say Mark Zuckerberg got the idea for the platform while at Harvard. (If you watched the movie The Social Network, he could have stolen the idea. I guess we do not know)
You get confused by Instagram, wishing they taught you how to use it for business in school.
You did not have a hashtag at your wedding. (It wasn’t a very common thing when I married my husband in 2013.)
You may remember seeing rotary phones at Grandma’s house.
You avoid group texts. I am doing that right now, so I can have time to write this.
You prefer talking on the phone over texting.
You got your first phone at age 16 when you were able to drive on your own.
Nowadays, you hate listening to your voice mail.
You think chain letters/emails are the worst. Did you know they still exist? My friends broke the chain of a sticker club for my son once. We did not get any stickers in the mail. (but my son did get some from a friend in person)
You miss getting letters in the mail.
You still like to write things down even though it is easier to use your phone or computer.
You always have to look up how to spell emoji. Thanks, spellcheck.
Speaking of emojis, you overuse them. 🙂 ❤
Mom jeans are back in style, but they are not the ones you remember as a child.
You love skinny jeans. In middle school, you may have spent your own money on wide-leg jeans from the Limited Too.
You did not fly on an airplane until you were in elementary or middle school.
You grew out your bangs as a child. Now you have side bangs as an adult.
Your friends all have grey hair. (none yet for me, luckily)
You have tickets for Elton John so you can say you saw him before he “retires.”
Music shaped your childhood, and now you share that music with your children.
This list could go on forever, like the song that never ends…
I am sorry if you are singing that song right now. Ha!
I would love to know more about you all: my subscribers. Are you an older millennial? What else would you add to this list?
Sometimes your loved one’s traditions become your own. My husband grew up going to his Great Uncle Johnny’s lake house in Tennessee. Uncle Johnny and Aunt Mary (whom I never had the pleasure to meet) would always invite Ryan up to his lake house on the Emory River for a week in the summer over the Fourth of July. The property was near the Kingston Steam Power Plant. He started going once his grandfather, Johnny’s brother, passed away when my husband was ten years old. Uncle Johnny wanted to include Ryan in the family get-togethers and treated him like he was his grandson. Uncle Johnny never did have any kids or grand kids of his own.
Other family members would join in the week at the lake including his distant cousin Ron (Ronny), Ronny’s parents Roger and Sis, and his brother Mike and sister-in-law Tammy. They would go for rides in Roger’s boat, water-ski, tubing, and also take spins on Ronny’s jet-ski. Often, Ryan and Uncle Johnny would just drive around and do nothing, a term they liked to call “piddling.” Ronny and Ryan would often take a late-night trip to get a slushy at Sonic, get gas for the boats, and get items from the grocery store that they wanted. Aunt Mary passed away when Ryan was in high school and Uncle Johnny later remarried to Lena.
When my husband and I started dating in college, I was invited to go to the lake too. On the fourth of July in 2006, Ryan and I drove the four hours to Tennessee and four hours back in one day just to be there for the holiday. Ronny was the only guest there that day and we rode on his jetski and saw the boat races at the annual Smokin the Water Festival in Kingston. It was a wonderful day and got a glimpse at what Ryan was so fond of about lake life in Tennesee.
My first trip to the lake house with Ryan in 2006.
The next year, we spent a whole weekend at the lake with Ronny. We would spend our days out on the water. Uncle Johnny and his wife Lena were so kind to us. We had so much fun tubing on the lake and riding on the jetski all weekend. Ronny was always so fun to be around. He was a kind man who was always up for a good laugh. He and Ryan grew very close over the years. A few months after our weekend visit, Ronny visited Ryan and we all went to see the Charlie Daniels band at the Freedom Concert. Ronny and Ryan talked and kept up with each other over the years, and we always meant to visit more often. Then, something very unexpected happened to the lake.
Top Left: Johnny and Lena at the lake house. Middle: Jet-ski time 2007. Top Right: Ronny and me Bottom Left: Ronny and Ryan. Bottom Right: Uncle Johnny and Aunt Mary
On December 22, 2008, an ash spill at Tennessee Valley Authority plant in Roane County flooded the water at Uncle Johnny’s lake house. It was the largest coal ash spill in U.S. history. His lake property was ruined with ash sludge. Ryan’s dad owned the lot across the street from Johnny’s but had not put a house on it yet. His lake lot was also deemed unfit for use due to the ash spill. To learn more about the ash spill in Swan Pond click here.
The TVA bought out about 100 landowners near Lakeview Drive on the Emory River including Uncle Johnny and Ryan’s Dad. Uncle Johnny did not relocate to lake property, rather he bought a modular home in Rockwood, Tennessee with Lena.
Ryan’s dad looked all over for comparable lake property and ended up buying a lake lot on a different part of the river in Spring City, Tennessee. It is a small town that has one stoplight and doesn’t have a standalone McDonalds. (It’s attached to a gas station). The local grocery store is a small Piggly Wiggly and you have to drive 20 miles to reach a Wal-Mart. Spring City has grown on us. We now have a deep appreciation for the small town and what it has to offer.
In the fall of 2011, we found out that Ronny had passed away at the age of 43. He was taken from us much too soon. Maybe if the ash spill never happened, we would have gotten to get together with Ronny at Uncle Johnny’s one last time. We were busy with our jobs and life got in the way. Ronny will always have a special place in our hearts.
Ryan and I got married in 2013. A few years later, Uncle Johnny passed away. When our son Nathan was born in 2018, we decided to honor Johnny by naming him after Ryan’s Great Uncle. Nathan’s middle name is John after Uncle Johnny.
While I was pregnant with Nathan, Ryan’s Dad began construction on the lake house in Spring City. It was finally complete around the time Nathan was 10 months old. In April 2019, we stayed over at the lakehouse for the first weekend. The first of many weekend lake trips.
Nathan learned how to crawl during that first lake vacation. Must have been all the soft carpet in the living room! During another weekend trip, we took Nathan to meet late Uncle Johnny’s wife Lena. She loved meeting him and he loved exploring her home.
Every few months, we go to the lake house and make family memories. We love going there and now love sharing the love of swimming in the water with Nathan. We started a new tradition of taking porch pictures of the lake house. It was so neat to see how much Nathan grew from each visit to the lake house to the next. The last time we went to the lake house over this past Fourth of July, Nathan wanted nothing to do with the porch pictures. At age two, he is more interested in exploring than being held by mommy and daddy for a photo. He didn’t smile, but we finally got a decent shot or two on the porch.
Pictured are Porch Photos, Nathan with Gran, Pop and Lena, and Smokin the Water festival over the Fourth of July.
Last year, we went again to Smokin the Water in Kingston. They no longer had boat racing but it was still a fun festival. This year, the festival was canceled due to COVID-19. We still had fun shooting off fireworks in the cul-de-sac and watching the neighbor’s fireworks from the porch.
We are going up to the lake house again in a week with our friends who have a boat and we will all go riding and tubing on the lake. I love making memories with my family at the lake house and in the water in Tennessee. Nathan loves going to the lake house and asks to go there almost daily. I hope he will always have a love of going to the lake. I’m excited to see what the future may bring for our family and to have him grow up visiting the lake just like his Daddy did when he was a kid.
Our most recent trip to the lake. Enjoying the water/beach and a porch picture.
I often write about motherhood, because that is the season of my life right now. As a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), my days are mostly consumed with taking care of my son and keeping him occupied. About four months into my motherhood journey, I found a wonderful organization called MOMS Club. As a new mother, I was feeling extra lonely and needed a group of mom friends with kids my son’s age.
One evening, I was looking at posts from a local mom’s group on Facebook, and I saw that someone had mentioned a group called MOMS Club. I immediately went to their website, but I didn’t live in that specific zip code. I then looked up the international organization and saw that there was, in fact, a MOMS Club in my city.
I was overjoyed. “This is for me,” I thought. As I looked at the website, I found myself crying. I could tell that I needed something to help fill the void inside of me. And, maybe MOMS Club would be it. Right then, I filled out the “contact us” form through their website. To my surprise, a mom got back with me that very evening. She sounded so welcoming and helpful, giving me more information about the club and encouraged me to come to one of their events if I was still interested.
My first event was a play date at one of the mom’s houses. There was a big turnout, and I got to know several other moms and their children. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. I signed up to join the club shortly after the event, and it was one of the best things I could do for myself and my son as a mother.
My once mostly blank calendar was now filled with fun events for moms and their children. I got to know the other moms and their kids and made some strong friendships through the club. I joined a playgroup, which met weekly at members’ homes or local parks. While at playgroup or a MOMS Club event, the moms were always willing to lend out a baby wipe or a snack if you didn’t bring enough or even to watch your child for a minute while you went to the restroom.
It was a village of moms and I had finally found them. When I had first joined the MOMS Club my son was a small baby who could not yet sit up by himself. Most of the time, I held him at the events. Now, he’s all toddler, running all around parks and other mom’s houses while I chase after him.
I’m not sure where I would be as a SAHM without MOMS Club. It has brought so many positive additions to my motherhood journey by giving me and my son friendships and something to do during the day. The club allows us both to get out of the house and socialize with our friends while enjoying kid-friendly activities and some mom-centered ones too such as book club.
I often attend a storytime at the library and a music class with my son weekly, but I prefer to attend MOMS club events because I’ll always know a familiar face and it just feels like home. Other types of MOMS club events we attend are playgroups, monthly meetings, park days, field trips, socials, lunches, community service projects, holiday parties and more.
I love the fact that I can bring my son to all of the daytime events, and we also have a mom’s night out (MNO) event each month. At MNO, I can leave him at home with my husband and enjoy some kid-free adult conversation. There are leadership opportunities through the club and we also have a yearly event the whole family can attend.
We have a Facebook group for our MOMS Club, and often a mom will post something like, “We’re going to the park this afternoon if anyone wants to join.” I have always felt welcome at any MOMS club event I’ve been to and I’ve never regretted attending one. (Even if my son was getting into everything he shouldn’t and I had to spend the whole event chasing after him!)
MOMS Club is a support system for SAHMs and it has helped me tremendously. I’m so thankful I joined this amazing group of moms. It truly has been a lifesaver for me.
MOMS Club is an international nonprofit organization providing daytime support for at-home mothers. For more information, or to find a MOMS club near you, visit https://momsclub.org/.
Before my son was born, I bought him a baby book. I didn’t think much of it other than I liked it because it was Woodland themed like his nursery. I knew that my mom had baby books for my brother and me, and I liked the idea of keeping track of my baby’s milestones. It is something I can look back on for years to come and even he will read it one day.
The baby book I bought for my son.
While my son was in the NICU, I started filling out the pages. Everything from my baby shower, news from the day he was born, all about his family and his first days. The book even had a page to record memories of a ceremony, such as his bris.
Every month my husband and I would sit down and fill out the page of what baby could do, what baby likes, etc. Well some months, we had to do two pages at a time because we had waited too long. It got to be somewhat of a chore to record the page each month, especially because it was always the same questions. A lot of times nothing had changed in a certain area and I’d just write, “Same as last month.”
A sample of one of the memory book pages.
Also, his monthly pictures got to be a chore as well. From picking out the outfit to the stress of trying to take the perfect picture, but I’m glad I have them. I took them on the exact monthly birthday each time. When he got older, a new challenge arose of trying to get him to sit still for a photo. Now, I’m lucky if the picture isn’t blurry because my son never stops moving and is always on the go.
After each doctor’s appointment, I would record his weight, his height, and his immunizations in his baby book. There is also a page to record his teeth coming in and pages with various other milestones. The book goes up to age five, with the focus on the baby’s first year. I like the idea of recording memories of my child because we so easily forget the little things. There are plenty of spaces to add photos to the baby book and I was very diligent on putting photos in for his first seven months. After that, life got busy and I stopping getting photos printed and adding them to his baby book. I’ll have to update the book with recent photos soon.
Somewhere along the way, after my son was born I wanted to his record milestones as they happened. When he was about five months old, I began to record them in my Passion Planner. There is a space called “good things that happened” in each weekly spread. I shifted the focus of that from myself to my son. It was a good way to remember things to record in the baby book and to have another record of it. Later on, I started recording them on a list app on my phone and then would transfer the milestone later to my planner and then to the baby book. It can seem like an inefficient system, but it worked for me in my daily life. If I thought of something, I could just type it on my phone instead of finding the planner or the baby book. I used to delete the list on my phone once I recorded it elsewhere, but now I like to keep an ongoing list because it tells you the exact day I recorded it. That’s how I know my son started walking on September 25, 2019! I record the simplest things to the biggest, such as when he found his feet to new words he learned. Some of his achievements that I recorded are not what you would call a traditional milestone, but it is something I want to remember. My son was born premature, so he hit his milestones a little later than most children, but every child is different and does things at different times.
Having lists in different places can be confusing. Because I want to have everything in one place, I decided to make a list of each month and each year and everything he did that month that I felt the need to record. I started this list using all three sources, and so far have only recorded the month of January 2019. But, I’ll finish it eventually and one day I will be so glad I did. Probably when he gets curious about the baby book or when he has children someday and wants to know what he did and when to compare.
When I have another child one day, I probably won’t be this disciplined with keeping track of milestones. With the challenges of taking care of two children, I probably will barely use the next child’s baby book. That is how it turned out for my mom. She spent so much time making my brother’s baby book, cutting out shapes out of wrapping paper and gluing them in because stickers and scrapbooking weren’t as common. Now there are so many memory-making options out there and even online photo books and digital scrapbooking.
When it got time for my baby book, my mom filled out the beginning but didn’t finish it. I don’t blame her; she was keeping up with two children. There is a list in the back of the baby book of my milestones that were never transferred. My mom kept my baby bracelet from the hospital and my first lock of hair. I’m so glad the memories are recorded and that’s probably where I got the idea to keep up with my son’s baby book. I have always loved scrapbooking and plan to make a scrapbook of my son one day. I do the traditional scrapbooking with paper and stickers. I’m still working on scrapbooking my honeymoon from six years ago, but you know I’ve made some progress.
I hope one day, my son and even my grandchildren will appreciate the effort I took to preserve these milestone memories. Are you recording memories of your children? It’s never too late to start!
I got the idea for this blog post while rushing to get ready
during my son’s morning nap. After all, you never know how long a child will
nap for. I started thinking about how I’ve changed as a mom and things I do now
that I never did prior to having my son. Some of these things are funny, some
are serious, but I came up with this list in hopes that other moms could relate
to it. And, also for a good laugh! Some of these facts relate to all moms, just
stay-at-home-moms, all parents, moms with young babies and some maybe just to
me. Here it goes…
You might be a mom if….
You’re a pro at doing things one-handed because
you’re carrying a baby in the other.
You make up songs about your baby, mundane
tasks, really anything at all because your baby loves it when you sing.
You go to the store with no makeup and unwashed
hair, and you’re OK with that.
You need a support group of other moms going
through the same thing as you.
You race to get everything done during your
child’s nap
You think you can’t possibly have any more baby
gear or toys and then you buy the next thing your child “needs.”
You always have spit up or baby food on your
clothes, and you stopped caring about it.
You are always doing laundry. Always!
There are usually always dirty dishes by your
sink.
You try many different brands of diapers and
wipes, and you will find the ones that you like the best.
You didn’t know you could love this way.
You can’t wait for them to reach the next
milestone (rolling over, crawling, walking, etc.) and then when they do you are
like oh great! Now you have to chase after them!
Your schedule revolves around your child’s naps.
You would rather hang out with other moms versus
friends without children, because they know what you are going through.
You have your good days and bad, but even the
bad days still manage to have good aspects of them.
You never knew how much you needed your friends until
now. Sadly, some of those friendships will fall apart post-kids.
You can’t wait to leave your house, whether it
is to go to the grocery store, the park or somewhere that’s actually exciting.
You worry about money more than pre-kids and, if
you do splurge, it’s usually on something for your children.
You know all the story times within a 20-minute
radius, the best parks in the area and all the fun things to do with your child
that is age-appropriate.
You are in at least five Moms groups on social
media. In fact, your social media is mostly about parenthood these days.
You rarely get a night away, but if you do get a
sitter, you are going to enjoy every minute of it (while spending a good chunk
of your time talking about your children).
You know all the kid consignment stores in the
area, the best seasonal consignment sales and all the stores with the best
deals for baby and kids’ clothes, toys and gear.
Your house will never be clean. There will be
toys and baby gear everywhere.
You never thought you could have so many
conversations about baby poop.
You will find the best way to get rid of diaper
rash that works for your child.
Your body will probably never be the same, but
that’s OK. You made a human!
Vacations and weekends are not really breaks or
time to get away anymore, but you still can’t wait for them to get here!
You get asked rude questions on your parenting
judgment pretty often.
You’ll learn not to care if you get a bodily
fluid on you. Little boys sure like to pee on you!
Your pregnancy brain turns into mom brain.
You figure out what works for your child, then
something changes and you have to start all over again.
You cry over the littlest things. And sometimes
the big things. Like on your child’s first birthday, because your little baby
isn’t a baby anymore.
Your kid does something weird and you think, “I
hope that doesn’t stick!”
You sometimes wish that your newborn baby didn’t
fall asleep on you. And, when they get older you wish they would still fall
asleep on you because you realized that you took those sweet baby cuddles for
granted. (Cherish them now because they will go away. Babies don’t keep.)
You wouldn’t trade motherhood for the world. It
may be hard, but it is sure worth it!
What else about motherhood would you add to this list? Share with me in the comments section!
You have a million tasks to do. How do you accomplish each
one and not lose track? Write it down! Make a list. Keep up a calendar or an
agenda. This has always been how I stay organized.
I’ve always been a list maker. Just ask my mom. I used to
make lists for everything. I even have written a list of outfits I was going to
wear during the week. (In my defense, I was in high school.) I have even
written, “take a shower” on a list. Usually, my tasks are more substantial,
but- hey whatever works to get everything accomplished!
From Paper Planner to Google Calendar
In college, I had a paper planner and wrote everything down in it. It contained all of my assignments and my social calendar. As things got digital, I tried using Google calendar. I have been regularly putting in appointments in my Google Calendar since 2015. For a while, it was working great as my only calendar. I like how it works seamlessly from the computer to your phone.
A basic planner
Google Calendar example
Recently, my husband and I synced our calendars. He was
getting tired of checking with me to see if we had any plans or if I was busy
doing something. It works great! I am a member of several different
organizations and those also use Google Calendar. Someone in the organization
who has access to the calendar can type in an event and it will show up on
every member’s personal Google Calendar. I can see all my events from my
sorority alumnae association and my MOMS Club, but my husband can’t. We can see
only the events we personally put in there. Group events are separate.
Google calendar was working great for my calendar but not
really for my to-do list. I knew I needed to make a change, which brought me to
the next step in my path for getting organized.
The Bullet Journal
I am such a list maker. I was tired of having a million post-it notes everywhere, especially at work. I needed a way to keep organized that I could write down. There’s something about writing things down that keeps you more committed to the task. I knew I wanted a paper planner again. So, I did a lot of research. I looked at the Happy Planner and many other types of manual agendas, but ultimately I settled on the Bullet Journal. I no longer use a bullet journal, but I had fun with it when I did.
Two years ago, I read an article in a magazine that I used to work for. It was about how the author used her Bullet Journal and had a couple pictures of some of her spreads. It shared the website BulletJournal.com and I went to the website and checked it out.
According to BulletJournal.com, “Bullet Journal (or BuJo for
short) was created by Ryder Carroll, a digital product designer and author
living in Brooklyn, NY. Diagnosed with learning disabilities early in life, he
was forced to figure out alternate ways to be focused and productive. Through
years of trial and error, he developed a methodology that went far beyond
simple organization.”
A BuJo motto is “The Analog Method for the Digital Age.” It
is a system for taking notes, keeping track of events and getting organized. I
won’t get into the basics of how Ryder suggests you go about doing that, but
you can find out more about it on his website.
What I liked about the BuJo is the ability to personalize it and make it your own. One thing I especially loved is the variety and endless possibilities of the collections. Collections are ways to organized related information. The basic collections in a BuJo are The Index, Future Log, Monthly Log, and the Daily Log. Ryder explains these in detail on his website. What I enjoyed creating was collections about anything and everything that was helpful to me. I made collections called: Books to Read, Weight Tracker, TV/ Movies & Streaming, Medical Appointment Log, Holiday Gift List/Ideas, etc. It could really be anything you wanted.
There were also ways to incorporate habit trackers into your
BuJo, which really keep you accountable for making better choices. You could
perhaps create a collection for habit tracking or you could add it to a regular
logging page. I kept the basic core collections of the BuJo, but instead of
doing a daily log, I kept a weekly log and had space for each day. I made
creative spreads using a ruler, nice colorful pens, stickers, stencils, colored
pencils and washi tape. It became a creative form of expression for me as well
as a way to keep organized. It really became addicting and I found myself
writing in it more and more. As time went on and the busier I became at work, I
found that I didn’t have all the time I wanted to devote to my BuJo and would
have to spend evenings and weekends working on my spreads. This is something I
wasn’t willing to do long-term.
BuJo Supplies when I first started out
Supplies I bought: Ruler The Official Bullet Journal Notebook Washi Tape (really just fancy paper tape used for decoration. I have tons) Colored pens (I found that the kind by Micron are my favorite) Stickers (Lots and lots of stickers) Stencils (For drawing shapes when you can’t really draw) Colored pencils Pretty Post-it notes Dual Brush pens (Hardly ever used these, sadly) Probably even more things that I am forgetting
When creating a BuJo, all you need is a notebook and a pen to start. But, I went all out and bought the items mentioned above. At the time, I thought I really needed EVERYTHING! Now, it’s just sitting in a bag somewhere in my house…
Collection called: TV, Movies and StreamingWeekly/Daily Log exampleMonthly Log Example
One thing about Bullet Journaling that most newbies don’t think about is the community of BuJo enthusiasts that are out there. Between Facebook groups and blogs, you can get so many suggestions, ideas, inspiration and help with Bullet Journaling. I joined a group on Facebook called Bullet Journal Beginners and it was very helpful. There is also a really popular one called Bullet Journal Junkies. Many others make blogs and send out monthly emails about Bullet Journaling including Ryder himself. It is all very helpful and informative.
I was very happy with it for a long time, but I liked to do
it very artistically and creatively, which got too time-consuming. It got to be
too much and I later stopped my BuJo. Then I became very disorganized and was
back to square one. I thought, there has to be a better way. I considered
someone pre-making my BuJo and then filling it in. But, I didn’t want to pay
anyone and it didn’t seem logical. The creator of the Bullet Journal wanted
everything to be simple. He created it so that it could be kept up with consistently
without much effort. Then, people who adopted his planner/journal method came
up with all these other more creative collections and ways to decorate the
pages. It strews from the origin of the Bullet Journal itself. Like I mentioned
before, I prefer the more artistic method to making a BuJo, but I couldn’t keep
up with it. So, I began researching again.
Passion Planner
That’s when I found the Passion Planner. Now, I considered other options before purchasing a Passion Planner, such as the Scribbles that Matter Bullet Planner, an Erin Condren LifePlanner, the Happy Planner or a Commit30. But, I think what really hooked me was that they were having a flash sale and I just happened to be on the website at the right time. I spent a fraction of what a Passion Planner costs and tried something new. I was so excited for my Passion Planner to come in the mail. It was already April when I got my Passion Planner, so I started from the beginning of that month and left the beginning of my journal blank (which started in January).
My Passion Planners
Let’s take a moment to talk about the company itself and its founder, Angelia Trinidad.
According to Passionplanner.com, “We’ve all been there: uncertain about what to do in life and unsure about the next step. When Angelia Trinidad faced this anxiety after graduating from college in 2012, she decided to do something about it. She designed the Passion Planner, a personal organizer to help you simplify your life and focus on what really matters.
Since then, Passion Planner has grown into a worldwide
community of dreamers, planners, and achievers. We’re dedicated to helping
everyone follow their passions. As a Get One, Give One company, every planner
purchased lets us give one to someone in need. We partner with nonprofit
organizations to support causes from education to preserving our planet.”
Weekly Spread Example
There are different components of a Passion Planner. Everything is laid out on the page for you so all you have to do is fill in. There are also blank pages in the back to use for whatever you like. It’s more than a planner; it’s also a goal setting guide, appointment calendar, sketchbook, gratitude log, journal, and a sketchbook. It has personal and work to-do list outlines and weekly and daily focus. You may use it however you wish and be as creative or as minimalist as you like.
When I first started my passion planner, I was working full-time. I used my planner to plan personal and work projects and set goals. I also make to-do lists and frequently used my “space of infinite possibility” found on each weekly spread and other areas throughout the planner. I used to decorate my Passion Planner with stickers I bought from my BuJo days. You can be creative and add stickers and “flair” but you can also be simple and just fill out the pages. Now that I’m a Stay-at-home-mom, I use my Passion Planner much differently. It helps me keep up with my schedule. I’m in a MOMS Club, so we have different events throughout the week as well as my other appointments and plans going on. I also use it to keep track of my chores around the house, my to-do list and occasionally my shopping list. There is a “Good things that Happened this week” space in each weekly spread and I use that to record my son’s milestones. It is really helpful to do this each week so I can write it in my son’s baby book each month. I’m sure I will love looking back on this part of my planner in the future.
At the beginning of each Passion Planner, there is a Passion Roadmap for goal setting. You list goals and due dates for completion in 3 months, One Year, 3 years and for your lifetime. It is really helpful to keep you on track. Each month there is also a space for a mind map of tasks to do that month. I did the one at the beginning of the book last year, but not this year. It is something I keep meaning to do. There is also an end of the month reflection for each month of the year in the Passion Planner. I’ve never filled out the end of the month reflection, but I would imagine it would be helpful.
How Passion Planner WorksA Blank Passion Roadmap
There are blank pages in the back of the planner that you can make into anything you want. I went back to my BuJo days and made a collection type page for Holiday Gifts to buy last holiday season. It really helped that my gift ideas were all in one place.
A lot of people use the Passion Planner and it is very beneficial. They have an academic version and an undated as well that come in a variety of sizes and colors. You can check out their website for their latest planners.
That pretty much sums up how I have and currently use productivity tools in everyday life to keep organized. I hope it has helped you learn more about a few different products that will help you stay on task and be productive. What types of things do you use to manage your time and achieve your goals?
pieces of april blog 