This is the year I turn 40. EEK! I’ll be over the hill. My birthday is not until September, but I already feel it coming because my husband and some friends have turned 40 or will soon. I am not looking forward to turning 40–it seems so old–four decades of life. I am sure once it gets closer to my birthday, I will be looking forward to it, but it seems like something I don’t want to celebrate right now.
I’m thankful for my life and my family. They are what keeps me going. I am fortunate to have such great people and caring friends in my corner. Life, however, does not come without struggles. These past few years have been tough for me, health-wise. As I shared in a previous post, my mental health has been challenging for me. I live life day by day. There are ups and downs, but I’m grateful to have a happy life. I can’t be happy all the time, of course, but there are more good days than bad.
I’ve been told that when you hit 40, your body starts “falling apart.” Many people experience health problems, aches, and pains not present in their 20s and early 30s. I know for me, I’ve struggled with pain for the last ten years. Sometimes it feels like my body is failing me. But I think about how it could be much worse and I’m not in terrible, excruciating pain all the time. I recently saw a meme about how when you get older and something hurts, that’s how it is now- forever. It was a joke, but it’s partially true.
I am a mom to a great kid! He is so sweet, smart, and caring. My friendly, talkative, energetic little boy. (Who at 6.5 is not so little anymore…) I quit my job after my son was born to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on it, but I am glad I spent so much time with my little one. Now that he’s in elementary school, I am at a crossroads. What do I do with my time to myself? What do I do that excites me, fulfills me, and gives me more purpose to pursue my dreams? See my related post, “The Kids Are in School, Now What?” I want a job, but I like my freedom and the time to get things done. I have always wished to have not just a job but a respected career. I’ve never been in a high-level position before. I thought that by 40, I would be in a different place in my career and have it all figured out. One day I’ll get there.
If I get a job, I still want to pick my son up from the bus and take him to activities, play with him, and help him with his homework after school. A part-time job would be ideal. Honestly, I’m a little scared to put myself back out there. I haven’t worked in 6 years. Would employers consider me because of the large gap? What kinds of jobs am I qualified for? I have a degree in Communication, but it seems that in every job posting, I’m overqualified or don’t have enough experience. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? What do I want to be when I “grow up”? More like growing old… Time will tell. Whatever happens, it is meant to be.
Forty years of life experience. Forty is not considered as old now as it used to be. I’m happy I’m here and that I have a blessed life. Five years from now I wonder what life will look like for me.
Happy 40th Birthday to my fellow 1985 babies! And here’s to the next 40 and beyond!
I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on being one. I planned to return to work or find a new job where I felt more valued and had flexibility for a parent. Then my son was born prematurely, and I felt the need to stay home to keep him safe. I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone the entire day. It’s been five years, and I savor our time together. He will never be little again, and I feel blessed to be able to stay home.
As with most anything, there are positives and negatives to any situation. Staying home means spending all day in my pajamas with my kid sometimes. It means not always having a schedule (though I put my child on a daily schedule with naps and mealtime). It means we can go to the park whenever we want and hang out with friends often. On the other hand, I often felt isolated. Some days, we didn’t have anyone to see or any playdates. Those days often were boring and mundane. I would go to Target with my baby just to leave the house. I craved adult interaction, which I found in my moms’ group, but I would still watch the clock waiting for my husband to get home from work. Mothers sometimes lose their purpose after having kids, especially stay-at-home moms. I know I’m still looking for mine.
When my son turned 2 (in 2020), I jumped at the chance of putting him in preschool a few days a week. I couldn’t sit at home with him all day every day and wait until my husband got home from work. The pandemic was very hard on everyone. I feel lucky that I was isolated for only two months. Living in Georgia, our state opened up earlier than most. I went to the park with my moms’ group and interacted with friends. We were nervous and worried about getting COVID but were going crazy staying in our homes all the time without anyone other than our young children. Zoom playgroups do NOT work. I know from experience!
Those parents who stayed home every day with their kids and saw no one in person, I don’t know how you did it. Those who did virtual school AND worked a the same time, I applaud you. They were trying times, and I think we all did what we did to survive. I’m so thankful we are in our new normal.
It was a hard decision to put my son in preschool during COVID. Being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing but also can be very isolating. My child is a handful sometimes, and I needed a little break to get errands and housework done without interruption and see a friend or two. He loves school, and I don’t regret a thing.
Babies don’t keep. My son recently turned FIVE, eek! He graduated Pre-K in May. Adjusting from attending school three days a week to five was hard on me. He is my only child, and I do not work outside the home (yet). You wouldn’t think four hours a day of free time is a bad thing. (Well, less than that because I spent a LOT of time driving back and forth from his preschool, which is far from our house.) I have been struggling to find things to fill up my time.
My Son’s First Day of Preschool.Nathan playing at school.Preschool Graduation
I’m lonely. I try to stay busy and see friends, run errands, do laundry, read books, write and journal, etc. I do all these things, yet I STILL feel lonely. I crave social interaction, and isolation is not healthy for me.
Going into the last school year, I knew I needed to volunteer or find a job. Things didn’t work out where I felt I could work. I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and putting myself back out there is hard. Here we are as another school year approaches, and I’m still unsatisfied. I’m still lonely. I still don’t have a sense of purpose other than “just a mom.”
My husband and I decided that I would look for a job in the fall once our son enters kindergarten and we get used to the new routine. I get to enjoy one more summer with our son before I go back to work, likely part-time. With mental health struggles, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Health is so important, and I’m scared to re-enter the workplace. I’m nervous about handling a new job when feeling down or depressed. I’m scared of what the added stress will do to my health. But deep down, I know I can do it. I worked for over ten years before leaving the workplace to focus on my family. Now is the time.
A few years ago, I wrote a piece, “More Than Just Mom.” This quote from that article still resonates with me today.
“From this point going forward, I’m going to set a goal for myself. I’m going to start focusing on myself. This doesn’t mean I won’t give my all as a mother, because I will. It means I need to start practicing self-care and recreating my sense of identity. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish this yet. Maybe it involves reconnecting with my hobbies. Maybe, it involves writing more often in publications like this one. It may look like taking a class or getting a part-time job. It could be as simple as reconnecting with friends I have lost touch with. This journey is mine and mine alone. I know that whatever I decide will be the right choice for me.”
Now, I’ll take my advice.
Maybe, I’ll return to school for a continuing education course involving writing or social media marketing. I don’t want to go back to being a secretary, but most of my full-time work experience is in administration. I have a degree in journalism, but it’s challenging to get a writing job that is not freelance. Though, I did my fair share of freelance work.
Working part-time, will I have time to work, finish housework, and have the best of both worlds? Hopefully, I’ll be home when my son gets off the bus from school. We shall see.
I look forward to where I’ll be a year from now, to see how far I’ve come and what I will accomplish. Here’s to the future and what it may bring!
For my whole life, I have wanted to be a mom. It was just always something I knew I wanted. I married my husband, Ryan, in September of 2013. We enjoy spending time with each other, and this year will celebrate 14 years together as a couple. Being married is wonderful, and we wanted to add to that happiness by having a child. After we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary, we decided the time was right to start our family. The very next month, in October of 2017 we started trying.
I was very lucky to get pregnant on the first try and it was hard to imagine that there was life growing inside me. I found out I was pregnant right before Halloween of 2017.
We went to my Obstetrician’s office and got to hear our
baby’s heartbeat and see him on the ultrasound. It was so cool to hear his tiny
little heartbeat for the first time. The OB told me that my due date was early
July 2018.
From our pregnancy announcement photo shoot in December 2017
I didn’t do any genetic testing before I became pregnant. My husband and I decided it was better not to
know. It would just cause unnecessary worry and it wouldn’t change anything
about our decision to have a baby. We did do one prenatal screening called the
Harmony test. It tests for Down Syndrome and a few other genetic anomalies,
through a blood test when a woman is 10-weeks pregnant. It can also tell the
gender of the baby, which is pretty accurate. Over the winter holidays, we got
the results back from the Harmony test I took.
Everything was normal and we were having a BOY! I will
always remember the moment we found out our baby was a boy. We were standing in
the kitchen, listening to a voicemail from the nurse from my OB’s office with
the test results. As soon as we found out, we were jumping up and down hugging
and crying. They were happy tears.
Many people refer to baby boys as “little man.” I don’t
particularly care for this expression, so when talking to my son in my belly I
decided to call him “Little Boy.” This would go on to be his nickname because
his name was a surprise to everyone. At my baby shower, my mom made a banner
that said “Little Boy” and it is now hanging in his nursery. My husband and I
thought of his name months before he was even conceived on the way back from a
road trip. We decided to keep his name to ourselves. The only hint we gave
anyone was that he was named after a family member who had passed.
Me at about 30-weeks pregnant. Early May, 2018
I experienced some complications with my pregnancy including
nausea the entire time, bad swelling, prenatal hypertension and later
preeclampsia. According to the Mayo
Clinic, “Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood
pressure and signs of damage to another organ system, most often the liver and
kidneys. Preeclampsia usually begins after 20 weeks of pregnancy in women whose
blood pressure had been normal.”
During one of my OB appointments, my doctor sent me to the
hospital because of my high blood pressure at 34-weeks pregnant. That was the
first time I had seen this doctor, since my OB practice has many doctors and
whoever is on call that day is the doctor that delivers your baby. I stayed
overnight at Northside Hospital-Atlanta. At that time, it was estimated I would
deliver at 36 or 37-weeks pregnant due to all the complications I was
experiencing.
At 35-weeks pregnant, during my OB appointment, the doctor
sent me back to the hospital due to a very high blood pressure and a headache
that wouldn’t go away. This is a common sign of preeclampsia and was very
worrisome to my doctor. While I was resting before going to the appointment, my
husband had a feeling we were having the baby. He gathered up and packed our
bags for the hospital.
We arrived at Northside and were taken to a room in C-section
waiting since the baby was still breech. I asked my husband what the date was.
He said, “June Fourth.” I decided that was a good day to have a baby.
We still didn’t know what was going on and when I would deliver our son. We
filled out paperwork and I saw the on-call doctor, who happened to the same one
who sent me to the hospital earlier. He said that it would be best to do the C-section
that night. By that time it was about 5 o’clock in the evening. The operating
room was booked for 8:30 p.m. based on my last meal. We literally found out three
hours before our son was born that we were for sure having him that day. It was
suspected that I had preeclampsia and the doctor wanted to deliver him then
because that condition has a tendency to escalate very quickly. It can be very
harmful to the mother and the baby.
I was prepped for surgery and taken to the OR, where I had
my C-section. Only one support person is
allowed in the OR, so my husband went with me.
The procedure went well, with no complications. Since I was
only 35-weeks, there was a team from the NICU in the operating room just in
case. They turned out not to be needed. The nurses wiped down our son and he
was placed on my chest. I will always remember this special moment. In fact, it
is making me teary-eyed as I write this. I said to my son, “Hi Nathan, I’m your
Mommy.” It felt so good to see my son. The first thing I noticed was how little
and cute he was. He was staring right at me and was very calm, all bundled up
in his swaddle blanket. All this time, my husband was snapping pictures with
his phone of our son and the anesthesiologist took the classic C-Section family
photo with the sheet in the background and us in our surgical gear.
First Family Photo
My husband left the room and followed the nurses with Nathan
to weigh him in the nursery. I was then sent to recovery. My husband remembers
one of the nurses saying, “I don’t think he’s going to make weight, he’s really
light.” The NICU nurses said, “What are you talking about? He looks big.” She
then said, “You’re used to all the really little babies.” Turns out he didn’t
make weight and had to go to the transition nursery to be evaluated. Nathan
John Basler was born at 9:22 p.m. on June 4,2018, weighing 4 lbs. 6
oz. and 17 inches long. He was five weeks early and considered premature. Aside
from some temperature issues and a little jaundice, Nathan was perfectly
healthy and was then brought into our hospital room shortly after I came back
from recovery.
During our five-day stay in the hospital for Nathan’s birth,
he was not eating as much as he should. The doctors at Kennesaw Pediatrics, our
pediatrician practice, saw Nathan every single day he was in the nursery. Our pediatrician
recommended that Nathan see a feeding therapist and hoped that he wouldn’t have
to go to the NICU for poor feeding.
We saw the feeding therapist in our hospital room and she
gave us some good pointers on helping him eat better. Premature babies aren’t
always the best at feeding since that is one of the last skills babies develop
in the womb. I had Nathan on a Monday, and Friday evening he was admitted to
the NICU for poor feeding. We were thankful we had those full four days with
our son in our hospital room and that he was a healthy baby boy, just needed to
learn how to eat properly.
Nathan, One day old
Having a child in the NICU is very hard, especially when you
have to go home but your baby does not. It was a very trying time for our
family. I cried at some point every single day. I just wanted our baby home. We
visited him every day. My husband would
wake up at 4 a.m. to go before work and I would go in the afternoon and stay
until long after my husband got off work and came back to the NICU to be with
Nathan. Everyone at the Northside Hospital NICU was wonderful. The doctors,
nurses and staff were all great to work with and very caring towards our son.
Northside is a tier three NICU, so it is one of the best there is. If our son
couldn’t come home with us, we were glad he was being taken care of at
Northside versus another hospital.
Nathan in the NICU
We were released from the NICU after 13 long days. We found
out that we were going home about three hours before we did. We knew it was a
possibility but didn’t think it would happen right then. Sound familiar?
We finally got to take our little boy home! The first night
was exhausting. The next day, we called my parents to come over and help a
little because we were so sleep deprived. Feeding him every three hours will
wear you out! My husband stayed home from work for a week after he came home to
be there and help care for our son.
Leaving the hospital with our boy!
Time went on and we got used to having him home. We took
newborn photos the first week he was home, at three weeks old. On Thursday,
June 28 our son had his brit milah or bris.
A bris is a Jewish tradition dating back thousands of years where a baby
boy is circumcised and receives his Hebrew name. Before I talk about Nathan’s
Hebrew name, I’ll talk about his English name. He is named after Nathan
Zlotnik, my dad’s father, who is a Holocaust survivor, and passed away at the
age of 90 when I was 10 years old. His middle name, John, is named after my
husband’s Great Uncle Johnny. He was like a second grandfather to my husband,
especially after his own grandfather passed. They would spend his childhood
summers at Uncle Johnny’s lake house in Tennessee on the water. I got to know
Uncle Johnny over the years and had the pleasure of visiting the lake house
too. About three years ago, Uncle Johnny passed away at the age of 90. We
decided to name our son after these family members who meant so much to us, but
also had other family members we wanted to honor that also were dear to our
hearts.
From Nathan’s newborn photo session.
This is where Nathan’s Hebrew name comes from. He was named
Nissim Allon. Nissim is after my grandfather Nelson Zavack, who is my mom’s
father. He passed away when I was about two years old, and I don’t really
remember him. He meant a lot to our family. Nissim means miracle and our boy is
such a little miracle.
He is also named Allon, after my husband’s grandfather on his
mother’s side, Allen Morrell. He passed away before my husband was born. My
in-laws named my husband after Allen Morrell and we decided to carry on that
tradition. Allon means oak tree and they are strong with deep roots. We really
think that describes our son perfectly. He is so strong for just a tiny little
guy and has so many family members who love him.
The bris was a wonderful ceremony. It was very hard to watch
my son be circumcised, but I got through it. The bris was very meaningful. I
like to think that I am bringing Jewish tradition back to my family because I
wanted to have the ceremony and plan to raise my son with Jewish teachings.
Nathan’s Bris
At his 2-month appointment, Nathan measured 9 pounds 11 ounces and his weight more than doubled since birth. He is eating well and thriving. I’m so grateful my son and I are healthy after the journey we had. I sure love being his mom.
Author’s Note: I wrote this story about my son back in August, 2018. Nathan is now 9-months-old and weighs 18 pounds! We’re planning his first birthday party for June and I can’t believe my baby is getting so big!
2016 has been an amazing year for my family and me so far. I can’t believe how lucky we all are and how many good things we have had happened to us. Things keep getting better and better. There are a lot of changes going on, but they are all positive ones.
Earlier this year, we found out that my brother and sister-in-law are expecting! I am going to be an aunt to a sweet baby girl! Plus, the baby is due on my birthday in September. Imagine that! At least we’ll share the same birth month if not the day. I’m very excited about what this means for my family. My parents are overjoyed to be grandparents and we’re deep into planning a baby shower for her this summer. But that’s not all….
As you may have read in my last post, we found our dream home! I won’t go into that in detail, but you can read all about it here. We plan to move into the house in a few weeks. First, we need to put carpet in. We’re so happy that we found a wonderful place to live and plan to stay there for many years. It sure is a great looking house on the inside and out! It feels strange to be a homeowner but also very good. We’re really grown-ups now!
Two days after they accepted the offer on our house, we were given a huge opportunity. To give you some background information, my husband and I applied for a trip called Honeymoon Israel (HMI) at the end of last year. Honeymoon Israel is a guided trip to Israel with 19 other couples, all from the same city, mainly geared at interfaith couples. We really wanted to go, and went through the interview process. There were two trips going to Israel from Atlanta through HMI this year and we really wanted to get on the May trip. We didn’t get picked to go on either trip, but we were put on the waiting list. We thought that we would never get to go this year. But, lucky us, a couple cancelled and they offered us the spot! When we first got the email that we could go on the trip, I was very doubtful. I mean, we just went under contract on a house. But, my husband assured me that it would be OK and that we couldn’t pass up this trip of a lifetime. We got the deposit paid and registered to go. Honeymoon Israel was an amazing experience and I’ll blog about it soon. But, it was awfully strange and crazy to go on a trip like this the day after we closed on our house. You can find more about Honeymoon Israel by clicking here.
If you think it couldn’t get any better, we have more great news for my family. My dad, who lives in Texas, had planned on retiring from his job in March of 2017. He was there with my mom temporarily for a job transfer. Well, his company decided to do a voluntary layoff. That means he’ll be able to work until November of this year and then get “laid off” with severance pay for a while. My dad was very glad to be giving this opportunity, especially with the baby coming. So, at the end of November, my parents will move back to Georgia for good.
Well, 2016 has been a fantastic year, and we’re only halfway through it. I can’t wait to see what else this year brings for us and for many more great years to come. May they keep getting better and better!
The summer before we got married, my husband and I moved into my parent’s house while my parents were living in Texas temporarily for my dad’s job. It put us in a nice situation to save money and we didn’t have a huge rent bill each month like we did in our old apartment. Now, my parents are coming back in November, a bit earlier than planned, so we started the process of looking into buying a home of our own. We already knew of a realtor, our rabbi’s wife, and we got recommendations for lenders. We got pre-qualified and began looking at houses.
We had wanted to live in the East Cobb area of Marietta, Georgia, but we quickly found that with our budget, we could only afford a ranch style house and not a big home like we had dreamed of. We then decided to look in the Kennesaw area. We looked at three houses and didn’t really like any of them. We decided we were going to stop looking and save up money for a few more months. Then, oh a whim, we decided to look at a house in Kennesaw a few days later that had really great curb appeal. It was kind of on the top of our budget, but it looked promising. We saw the house and slowly began to fall in love with it. It had a great kitchen, a semi-open floor plan, a decent-sized living room, plenty of room upstairs, a sunroom, a wrap around porch, a nice master bath and a fenced in yard.
I was a bit nervous to make an offer because I didn’t think we were ready for that yet. After all, we had just started looking and still had plenty of time before my parents moved back. But, we decided to put in an offer on this wonderful house. Our realtor called the listing agent and there were already multiple offers on the house, so we had to move quickly. We went back to our realtor’s office and filled out the paperwork. My realtor thought it would be a good idea to write a letter to the seller about how much we liked the house. We sent off the paperwork and waited.
At about ten o’clock the next morning, I got a call from our realtor saying she had good news- they had accepted our offer! The selling agent told our realtor that they had higher offers than ours, but they decided to go with us because they thought we were the perfect people for their house thanks to that letter. We were overjoyed!
Next came the contracts, the inspection, the paperwork from our lender, negotiation, the appraisal, etc. I would have to say that the amount of time it takes daily for correspondence when you have a house under contract is way more than you would think. Usually the paperwork or document needed is urgent, so it can be very stressful.
Everything came together and we had all our ducks in a row for our closing. It actually was a very smooth process and everything got done on time. We wired our money to the closing attorney for the closing, had the final walk-through, and before we knew it, closing day came. Closing took about an hour and a half and was surprisingly an enjoyable process. The sellers were really nice people, so that made it that much easier. It was a little daunting to see on the papers that we would be paying off our loan until 2046! Can you imagine? We’ll be paying off our 30 year mortgage until we’re in our 60’s- that is if we’re still living in the same house then. We plan to stay in the new house for at least 10 to 15 years. It’s big enough for us to raise a family there and is in a good school district.
We got done with the closing and were officially home owners! It was so nice to receive housewarming gifts from family and our realtor. We brought our parents over to our new house and showed them around. We also took pictures in front of the house and posted them on social media. It was so great to finally get to tell people that we bought a house!
When we got to our new house, we discovered that the sellers left us sparkling cider, candy, and a folder with all the manuals for appliances in the house as well as a six-page hand written letter describing everything we needed to know about the house. It included what was planted where, when rooms were painted and what color, when certain things were installed, etc. They even gave us restaurant recommendations and their email address in case we had questions. That was a nice surprise!
Next, we’ll have to carpet the house and epoxy the garage floor. Our house is essentially move-in ready, so we don’t have to do much to it before moving time. Luckily, we like the colors the sellers chose, so we don’t have to paint the walls. We’ve been going over the house and doing things little-by-little and plan to move into our new house in July. There’s no rush, since we don’t have to be out of my parents’ house for several more months. Now on to packing…
We’re so excited to own a home of own! With that comes a lot of responsibly and a lot of financial obligations. We’re officially adults! I can’t wait to be all moved in and settled. Here’s to owning and no longer renting!
This year on November 11, my husband and I will celebrate 10 years as a couple. Although we have only been married for two years, we have been together forever and know each other very well. We have a decade down and forever to go. In this post, I will share memories and pictures of the past 10 years starting with the year we met, 2005.
Our First Date
2005 Memories:
We met through Greek life at Kennesaw State.
Our first date was my sorority dance with friends and then we went camping afterwards.
We started dating and went out to parties and restaurants.
We went to his fraternity Christmas party and celebrated the holidays together.
We rung in the New Year together.
Our 9 Month Anniversary Date
2006 Memories:
We both celebrated our 21st birthdays.
We started officially dating on St. Patrick’s Day.
We went to Ryan’s great uncle’s lake house for the first time together over July 4th weekend.
We went to a lot of concerts together.
Ryan met my family from California during a visit for my brother’s college graduation.
We had our first time apart when I went to Israel.
In August, Ryan gave me his Greek letters to wear, a lavaliere. I had a candle pass ceremony with my sorority.
We had a very nice anniversary date to celebrate 9 months.
Ryan’s Fraternity Formal
2007 Memories:
I landed an internship at the TowneLaker Magazine and Ryan landed his at Childspring International.
We went to my sorority formal together, the Purple Iris Ball in Atlanta.
We went to the lake house in Tennessee again. This time for a long weekend.
We also went to Ryan’s Roseball fraternity formal in October.
San Francisco and our California Coast Road Trip
2008 Memories
We both graduated college this year. I graduated in May, and Ryan graduated in December.
Upon graduation, I was hired for my first job out of college at the same magazine I interned at.
We attended our last fraternity and sorority formals. Ryan’s Roseball was in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
We went on our first big vacation together. We flew into LA, spent time with my family, and then drove up the coast to San Francisco and back.
We went to our friends’ weddings.
Bahamas Cruise
2009 Memories:
In January, we went on a cruise to the Bahamas.
In February, I unfortunately was laid off from the magazine due to the economy.
In March, I started working at Life University.
In April, we went to New York City for the first time for a long weekend.
I moved out of my parent’s house and into an apartment with roommates.
Ryan started prosthetics school at Northwestern University in Chicago and took online classes.
My 25th Birthday
2010 Memories:
Ryan moved to Chicago for three months to finish up prosthetics school at Northwestern for the hands-on portion of his program.
We had a long distance relationship during that time and we got through it.
April started the Staff Newsletter at Life University.
Ryan graduated from Northwestern and started his prosthetics residency.
We celebrated our five year anniversary with dinner at Shout and stayed at the W hotel.
April got a second job writing freelance for Patch.com.
Trip to Hilton Head
2011 Memories:
We got snowed in for a week at my apartment during the big storm.
We went to Hilton Head over July 4th weekend.
We moved in together in July to the Vinings area.
We went to a friend’s wedding at Villa Christina and loved it so much we ended up getting married there two years later.
We got our first Christmas tree for our apartment and decorated for Chanukkah and X-mas.
Engagement Photo Shoot
2012 Memories:
We fostered a very cute kitty for a week. Wish we could have kept her!
We found a new hobby- archery! We shot bows and arrows at an archery learning center.
Ryan became a Certified and Licensed Prosthetist.
April started her personal blog here on WordPress.
We got engaged on September 12th! We started planning our wedding and set a date.
My parents found out they had to move to Texas the next year for my dad’s job.
We spent the Christmas holidays with my in-laws in Florida and went to the Florida Keys.
Our Wedding
2013 Memories:
We continued to plan our wedding and registered for gifts.
My brother and sister-in-law got engaged! We attended their engagement party in Baltimore, Maryland.
We had our engagement photo session.
My parents moved to Texas and we moved into their house here.
I had two bridal showers and a bachelorette party.
I totaled my Camry in an accident and then we bought a Volvo station wagon for me to drive.
Ryan got into photography and videography.
At my brother’s wedding in Cancun
2014 Memories
My brother and sister-in-law got married in Cancun, Mexico. What a fun destination wedding!
We survived Snow Jam 2014. Ryan got stranded overnight in his car.
We attended and were in a lot of family and friends’ weddings.
We went to San Francisco for my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah and then went on our anniversary road trip to Vancouver and back. We stopped in Napa, the Redwoods, Portland and Seattle.
We celebrated our first wedding anniversary!
Ryan started his photography and videography business.
April was hired as a freelance writer for the Atlanta Jewish Times.
The Baslers do the Grand Canyon
2015 Memories:
We both turned the big 3-0 this year!
April wrote a cover story for the Atlanta Jewish Times.
Ryan published his website and his photography and videography business grew.
We went to Las Vegas in April for the first time. We also went on a Grand Canyon tour.
Ryan made a short film and entered it into a contest.
We bought a new car and swapped vehicles with family, so we’re both driving different cars now.
We celebrated our second wedding anniversary at a museum and had dinner where we got married.
We have travel plans to go to Texas soon and visit my parents. We are going to Florida for Thanksgiving with Ryan’s family.
And much more to come!
I’m looking forward to many more decades of happy memories with my husband, Ryan. Happy 10 years babe!
Ah, September. It’s my favorite month! A lot is happening for me during the month of September. First of all, it’s my birthday month. I was born on the 17th and sometimes my birthday falls on the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah, but usually not. As a child, I always looked forward to September to celebrate my birthday. I would look forward to it months in advance. So far in advance that my parents would tell me that I’m not allowed to talk about my birthday until a few months before it! I started school young, so I’m always the youngest in my grade. Everybody reached their milestones before I did. But, to my advantage, I am the last of my friends to reach the Big 3-0 birthday! I’m looking forward to my birthday, but not so much the turning 30 part. If being the youngest wasn’t enough, I also look really young for my age. I still get carded for rated R movies, and always at the liquor store. Once, in college, an airport security worker asked if I was in middle school when I was with my mom. Crazy. I’m not THAT young looking!
Secondly, September is the month I got engaged. People who know my husband and I know that I waited a LONG time for that proposal! 7 years to be exact. My husband (then boyfriend) and I moved in together in the summer of 2011. We had been dating since junior year of college and were twenty when we met and first got together. Then, after graduation, my husband did the prosthetics program at Northwestern University in Chicago and had to go on site for 3 months in addition to a 6 month prior online program. He moved back home after he graduated from the program and began his residency. He went on to take boards and become certified and licensed in prosthetics. I lived with roommates for a while and then eventually we moved in together.
We’re Engaged! 2012
Our Family Engagement Celebration, 2012
My ring! 2012
Engagement Photos, 2013
Marietta Square Engagement Session, 2013
Save the Date Session, 2012
I knew the engagement was coming, but I didn’t know he was proposing that day. He picked up my ring on September 11, 2012 but decided 9/11 was not a good day to propose. So, he proposed on September 12 in our apartment after I had gotten home from work. I was so happy and my ring was gorgeous! We started planning our wedding, and set the date a couple weeks later. I set the date around my Rabbi’s schedule. We probably would have gotten married in the beginning of October if Rabbi had been available then. He wasn’t, so we decided on September 29, 2013. When we chose our venue, we made sure they had that date available and booked it during the tour. We had already been to the venue before at a friend’s wedding and knew it was going to be perfect. We got married at Villa Christina in Perimeter area in Atlanta, Georgia. I highly recommend that venue. Everything was perfect and I loved our event coordinator, Julie!
Perfect Wedding, 2013
Husband and Wife, 2013
Cutting the Cake, 2013
Our Wedding Party, 2013
Our First Dance, 2013
True Love, 2013
Wedding planning was so much fun! Read more about my wedding plans here and here. Read my advice for newlyweds here. We went on the perfect honeymoon to Kauai, Hawaii and it was amazing.
First Anniversary Road Trip, Napa Valley, 2014
First Anniversary Road Trip, Redwood Forrest, 2014
For our first anniversary, my husband and I went on a road trip from San Francisco to Vancouver, Canada and back. It was very rushed, as we did it all in 6 days. But, we still had a great time and saw very cool sights. We wine tasted in Napa, Drove through a redwood tree in the redwood forest, went to a rose garden and Powell’s City of Books in Portland, went to Pike Place Market and Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle, and spent time in Stanley Park in Vancouver. You can read about our first anniversary trip here.
On the day of our first anniversary, we went to dinner at a nice seafood restaurant called Chequers. The next day, we picked up our anniversary wedding top of the cake from our cake lady Eileen Carter. She tells the brides and grooms to go ahead and eat the top of their cake after the honeymoon and then makes a replica of the top of the cake for all her client’s first anniversaries! It’s such a nice thing to do. The cake usually doesn’t taste so good after being in a freezer for a year, so that’s why she does this.
This year, we are not going on a lavish anniversary vacation. We had a nice vacation in the spring where we spent a week in Las Vegas. So, this year, we decided to take the day off work and spend time together doing something fun in Atlanta. We decided to go to Fernbank, an interactive science museum. I used to go there on field trips in elementary school, but I think it will be nice to go back as an adult. We plan on going to see one of the IMAX movies there and enjoy the exhibits. Then, for dinner, we will dine at Villa Christina’s restaurant. We have never gone there for dinner before and can’t wait! From what we tasted at our wedding tasting and the food they made for our wedding, it will be a gourmet treat!
My husband and I have been keeping up with the tradition of giving the customary anniversary gifts to each other in addition to something each of us had wanted. The first anniversary gift is paper and the second anniversary gift is cotton. We use Amazon.com with lists so that we know we are getting each other what we want. It works out really well for us.
There’s a lot to look forward to this month. I will be having several birthday celebrations with friends, family and my husband. My mom is coming in town for my big birthday and I’m really excited to see her!
Here’s to many more years of birthdays and anniversaries in September!
Honeymoon, Hawaii 2013
Hawaii Honeymoon, Beach in Kauai, 2013
On a boat touring the Na Pali Coast, Hawaii Honeymoon, 2013
This is the year all my friends and I turn 30. Since I was born in the fall, I will be one of the last ones to celebrate this dreaded birthday. When you were younger, you always thought when you’re 30, you’ll have your life together. For a lot of people, this is not the case. But hey, it’s never too late to get your shit straightened out.
By the time most people are 30 they have careers and not jobs. I wouldn’t say my current full-time job is a career, but I do enjoy editing the staff newsletter. It’s been great to write articles, edit, lead and manage a team. It’s nice to have the final say in what is published. I’ve been doing that for five years and working at the university for almost six now. I always said it was a temporary job, but its’ not so temporary after six years.
During that time, I have had the privilege to be a freelance writer/journalist at two different publications. First, at Patch.com, a community based news website. Recently, I have been given a fantastic opportunity to write for the Atlanta Jewish Times. I was even assigned a cover story for my third assignment! You can read my work here and here, and the cover story about Jewish youth conventions hosted in Atlanta here.
Another thing most people hope to do by the time they turn 30 — get married. I got engaged when I was just about 27 and married just after I turned 28. When I was younger, I thought I’d be married at 25. We all think we will accomplish life’s milestones at a younger age than we actually do. But, life happens. Since I had been in a steady relationship since college, I always knew I would eventually get married and it would happen before I turned 30. Some single people get anxious about the fact that they are 30+ without a significant other. But, it’s better to be single than in a bad relationship. And sometimes it’s best to be single and work on you for a change. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. For those who want to find love, it can be hard to meet someone. Most people I know met their husband/wife in college. But for those who didn’t, there’s always online dating. It’s getting much more common to date and meet people on online dating sites nowadays. I know many couples who have met that way and have gotten married. After all, they do match you up with people you are compatible with.
And of course, after marriage comes babies. People expect you to have children once you have been married for a while. And some ask you constantly and a lot sooner after you’re married than you think they would. I do want to have kids one day, maybe in a few years, but I’m tired of people asking me that all the time. I can’t even say “guess what” anymore without someone saying, “Oh my God are you pregnant?”
When you’re married you have two groups of friends, those with kids and those without. And sometimes the two groups all get together, but a lot of times you only hangout with your non-parent friends. It’s harder for the parents to go out and make plans as they need to find a babysitter or they just don’t go out as often. I would imagine that families with kids usually hang out with other families who have kids more often than with couples who aren’t parents. That’s just how it works. But, someday I’ll be in the mommy club. I just want to enjoy being married for a while before I have kids.
When most people turn 30, they just feel old. You’re no longer a 20 something. Now you really feel like an adult. The older we get we have more responsibilities. You can’t count on handouts from mom and dad anymore (well most of the time). At least I am usually told, “You’re married now, I’m not paying for that anymore.” I guess being married really classifies you as an adult to most parents of 20/30 somethings.
My husband just turned 30 last week. It’s a big milestone to celebrate. We actually celebrated about four times with dinners, family and friends. I will turn 30 in September, and I’m not too thrilled. Some people look forward to turning 30. Most people I know dread it. However you look at it, at least you’re still here and at least you’ve matured. Well, most people can say that!
We all remember them. Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. It’s that time when a 12 or 13-year-old Jewish boy or girl is called to the torah to lead the service and is seen as an adult in the eyes of their congregation. Well, you’ll remember if you’re Jewish or had any Jewish friends growing up. When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads the service, they are invited to read out of the torah and say the prayer for before and after reading the holy book. That is called an Aliyah and since the teenager is old enough to read he/she is now seen as an adult in the eyes of the Jewish community. Of course, they are still young and legally not an adult, but they are seen as men and women now by their temple congregation.
I myself had a Bat Mitzvah when I was 12 (almost 13) and it was a fun, stressful, and rewarding day. I think that having my Bat Mitzvah really set a change in me for the better. It made me reflect on how I treated those I love and was really a wake up call and made me a better person. Because we all know that 13-year-old girls can be brats (and that’s a nice way of putting it!)
When you study for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah it takes years to prepare. All of Hebrew school is preparing you for this one day. The endless learning of all the prayers until you know them by heart, the studying of your torah portion that takes months, practicing, writing a speech to be read to your friends and family and the congregation, etc. I remember staying up until 2 am the night before the big day still going over my torah portion. I could not have reached that day without the help of my rabbi, the cantor, and all my Hebrew school teachers, my parents and my family and friends.
Speaking of friends, when you have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah you attend yours of course, but also everyone else in your class, your Jewish friends at school and your cousins, neighbors, etc. I would have to guess that I attended several dozen Bar Mitzvahs in my lifetime so far, but it could be more. First, was my brother’s when I was 10. All my family came in town and it was really nice visiting with them. My paternal grandfather was able to attend that occasion before he passed away. I think back then I was a little bit taller than my brother! (But he grew and I stayed the same height and still am very short).
Then, I attended my friends’ Bar and Bat Mitzvahs who were a bit older than me. Next it was my Hebrew School friends and classmates at school. After that I became friends with someone who was a grade younger than me and she introduced me to her friends who were younger than me as well and I went to all their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. I was a freshman in high school then (I was young for my grade) and was still going to the services/parties. I also attended all my cousins Bar Mitzvahs (all 5 of them) which were all out of town. I actually just came back from the very youngest cousin’s Bar Mitzvah recently which was in San Francisco, California. That was my husband’s first Bar Mitzvah (he’s not Jewish) and for me, I have lost track of how many I have been to. But it’s a pretty high number.
My Bat Mitzvah 1998
There are many components of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. There’s the service and then of course the big party afterwards!
Service: It’s held on a Saturday morning, since Friday at sundown to Saturday evening is our Sabbath. Very few people attend the Saturday service unless they are invited to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, but it’s usually a full crowd. Some temples are so large that the teenager has to share their service with another kid in their Hebrew school class. My brother didn’t have to but I had to share my service. They take turns doing certain prayers and basically break up the service so both kids have a chance to read from the torah and involve their families in the aspects of the service (opening the arc, holding the torah, etc.). The Bar/Bat Mitzvah boy/girl also leads a prayer in the Friday night service before their special day.
Some Bar/Bat Mitzvahs have a lot of events, just like the one I most recently attended, especially for out of town family members. There’s dinner Friday night, the Friday night service, the Service in the morning (of course you have to arrive early for family pictures), the luncheon after the service at the temple, the Saturday night party and then a farewell Sunday brunch. That’s a lot of events for one weekend!
Party: It can sometime be the equivalent of a small wedding. There are many elements that comprise a Bar/Bat Mitzvah party, such as: the theme, DJ, decorations (balloons), ballroom, party favors, buffet and/or seated dinner, dancing, games for the kids, etc. Sometimes it can be just a kid’s party. I’ve been to some at Dave and Busters where the kids play and the adults’ party in the ballroom.
The candle lighting is a ceremony in which family member, friends, and loved ones are called up to the dance floor to light a candle signifying that that person is important to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child. There usually is a poem read and one or more people come up from their tables to light a candle while a song that is catered to that person plays. There are usually thirteen candles, one for each year of the Bat/Bat Mitzvah’s life. Sometimes a group of people will come up and they all light the candle together.
I remember the first time I ever danced with a boy was at a Bar Mitzvah. I remember that it took us a minute to figure out the correct placement of our arms, haha! Now, as an adult attending a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, I can take full advantage of the open bar.
Chai
Gifts: One of the perks of having a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is that you get a LOT of gifts! The boys will get more money and gift certificates than the girls since many people give girls jewelry and other type of gifts. I think I received frames, jewelry and music boxes and even a leather purse from Italy. I was lucky to receive quite a large amount of money as well. I saved most of it and spent a small portion of it. I bought clothes and a boom box with my Bat Mitzvah money, back when those were very popular! (circa 1998). The money that I saved went towards my first car I bought when I was 16. It certainly is a great way to save for the future, especially if you receive savings bonds. It is a Jewish custom to give a monetary gift in denominations of 18. Eighteen symbolizes the Jewish letter “Chai” which means life in Hebrew. So, it is not uncommon to give a gift of $18, $36, $54, $118, etc. when giving to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah child or even for a Jewish wedding.
When I look back on my Bat Mitzvah and all the other ones I attended, I will always have great memories of those times. What fun we had! My husband and I hope that one day our children will have Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. The rabbi that married us was actually the one who Bat Mitzvah’d me. There’s so much to look forward to in the years to come!
My husband and I at the Bar Mitzvah in San Francisco. Sept. 2014
pieces of april blog 