Love

The Kids Are in School, Now What?

/ azlotnik / 1 Comment

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on being one. I planned to return to work or find a new job where I felt more valued and had flexibility for a parent. Then my son was born prematurely, and I felt the need to stay home to keep him safe. I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone the entire day. It’s been five years, and I savor our time together. He will never be little again, and I feel blessed to be able to stay home.

As with most anything, there are positives and negatives to any situation. Staying home means spending all day in my pajamas with my kid sometimes. It means not always having a schedule (though I put my child on a daily schedule with naps and mealtime). It means we can go to the park whenever we want and hang out with friends often. On the other hand, I often felt isolated. Some days, we didn’t have anyone to see or any playdates. Those days often were boring and mundane. I would go to Target with my baby just to leave the house. I craved adult interaction, which I found in my moms’ group, but I would still watch the clock waiting for my husband to get home from work. Mothers sometimes lose their purpose after having kids, especially stay-at-home moms. I know I’m still looking for mine.

When my son turned 2 (in 2020), I jumped at the chance of putting him in preschool a few days a week. I couldn’t sit at home with him all day every day and wait until my husband got home from work. The pandemic was very hard on everyone. I feel lucky that I was isolated for only two months. Living in Georgia, our state opened up earlier than most. I went to the park with my moms’ group and interacted with friends. We were nervous and worried about getting COVID but were going crazy staying in our homes all the time without anyone other than our young children. Zoom playgroups do NOT work. I know from experience!

Those parents who stayed home every day with their kids and saw no one in person, I don’t know how you did it. Those who did virtual school AND worked a the same time, I applaud you. They were trying times, and I think we all did what we did to survive. I’m so thankful we are in our new normal.

It was a hard decision to put my son in preschool during COVID. Being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing but also can be very isolating. My child is a handful sometimes, and I needed a little break to get errands and housework done without interruption and see a friend or two. He loves school, and I don’t regret a thing.

Babies don’t keep. My son recently turned FIVE, eek! He graduated Pre-K in May. Adjusting from attending school three days a week to five was hard on me. He is my only child, and I do not work outside the home (yet). You wouldn’t think four hours a day of free time is a bad thing. (Well, less than that because I spent a LOT of time driving back and forth from his preschool, which is far from our house.) I have been struggling to find things to fill up my time.

My Son’s First Day of Preschool.
Nathan playing at school.
Preschool Graduation

I’m lonely. I try to stay busy and see friends, run errands, do laundry, read books, write and journal, etc. I do all these things, yet I STILL feel lonely. I crave social interaction, and isolation is not healthy for me.

Going into the last school year, I knew I needed to volunteer or find a job. Things didn’t work out where I felt I could work. I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and putting myself back out there is hard. Here we are as another school year approaches, and I’m still unsatisfied. I’m still lonely. I still don’t have a sense of purpose other than “just a mom.”

My husband and I decided that I would look for a job in the fall once our son enters kindergarten and we get used to the new routine. I get to enjoy one more summer with our son before I go back to work, likely part-time.
With mental health struggles, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Health is so important, and I’m scared to re-enter the workplace. I’m nervous about handling a new job when feeling down or depressed. I’m scared of what the added stress will do to my health. But deep down, I know I can do it. I worked for over ten years before leaving the workplace to focus on my family. Now is the time.

A few years ago, I wrote a piece, “More Than Just Mom.” This quote from that article still resonates with me today.

“From this point going forward, I’m going to set a goal for myself. I’m going to start focusing on myself. This doesn’t mean I won’t give my all as a mother, because I will. It means I need to start practicing self-care and recreating my sense of identity. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish this yet. Maybe it involves reconnecting with my hobbies. Maybe, it involves writing more often in publications like this one. It may look like taking a class or getting a part-time job. It could be as simple as reconnecting with friends I have lost touch with. This journey is mine and mine alone. I know that whatever I decide will be the right choice for me.”

Now, I’ll take my advice.

Maybe, I’ll return to school for a continuing education course involving writing or social media marketing. I don’t want to go back to being a secretary, but most of my full-time work experience is in administration. I have a degree in journalism, but it’s challenging to get a writing job that is not freelance. Though, I did my fair share of freelance work.

Working part-time, will I have time to work, finish housework, and have the best of both worlds? Hopefully, I’ll be home when my son gets off the bus from school. We shall see.

I look forward to where I’ll be a year from now, to see how far I’ve come and what I will accomplish. Here’s to the future and what it may bring!

Nathan’s Pre-K Play
My Family 2021
Me and My Boy

There are Little Eyes Upon You

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As a teen, I dabbled in poetry. I kept a poetry book that included some poems of importance to me that I found from various sources. I wrote a few of the lyrics myself. I recently discovered the book in a box of old mementos from my youth.  I was proud of my meticulously kept compilation of poems. I had a table of contents and made sure to write in my best handwriting. I chose a notebook with a space theme and aliens on the cover. Haha. My nearly 40 compiled poems spanned from 1998 to 2003, from 8th grade until my senior year of high school.

I enjoy looking back on my poems from my youth and remembering what it was like to be a teenager. I open the book and can see myself sitting on my childhood bedroom floor, leaning against my bed, writing and copying down these poems that meant so much to me at the time. I’d share one of the ones I wrote, but let’s just say the poetry was not my best work.

They say children are like sponges. Kids absorb things from their environment. They watch what their parents and caregivers do, what you say to others, how you act, their tone- everything. After becoming a mother, that stuck with me. I want to lead by a good example and teach my child how to be a good person. 

I first heard the following poem during counselor training at a summer camp I worked at one summer as a teen. “There are Little Eyes Upon You,” did not resonate with me then. I remember feeling indifferent about the poem, thinking I did not need the training.  It was a waste of my time. Yet, I later decided it was essential and included it in my poetry book.

There are Little Eyes Upon You

There are little eyes upon you,
and they watch you every day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in everything you say.

There are little hands all eager,
to do everything you do,
And a little child who’s dreaming 
of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol,
you’re the wisest of the wise,
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,
and holds true all you say and do.
He will say and do it your way
when he’s grown up just like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow,
who believes you’re always right.
His ears are always open,
he watches day and night.

You are setting an example,
each day in all you do,
For the little child who’s waiting,
to grow up just like you.

Author Unknown

Parents often see the world differently than children. Adults often focus on the bad, while children see the good in everyday occurrences. For example, you may think you had a terrible day. Maybe you lost your temper and yelled at your child. Perhaps you were late getting them to school, and they missed their morning activity. You burned dinner. You rushed out early for your work meeting and didn’t get to say goodbye to your child before you left the house. Whatever the reason – it’s probably not as bad as you think. There is time to change what you think is a bad day into a good one. As they say on the popular show This is Us, “There’s no lemon so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade.”

Your child likely does not see the day as a bad one. They remember the good things about their day, like a spontaneous trip to get ice cream or cuddles during a bedtime story. So, the next time you think you had a bad day, remember that your child probably saw it in a different light. Our job as parents is to help guide our kids along the way, but we could learn a thing or two from our kids. I once read, “If we saw the world the way children do, the world would be a better place.” I wholeheartedly agree.

I’m not a parenting expert by far. I strive to achieve and remember the advice that I gave in this post. Sometimes, I yell at my child. I try not to, but I lose my patience quickly when my son misbehaves. I’m sure this happens to many other parents from time to time. Fellow parents, we are all definitely “growing up while raising humans.”

I hope this poem and my post resonated with you. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll write another poem.

Keep reading!

Israel with My Love

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This past summer, my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to go on Honeymoon Israel. On a Honeymoon Israel (HMI) trip, you can “spend nine exhilarating, romantic and memorable days exploring Israel with your partner, while building friendship and community with other couples from your city.” The experience was like nothing else we had ever done. We bonded, explored, and made friends with couples like us who are now like family. Over six months has gone by since we got back from Israel, and we still get together with the other couples and enjoy the community. HMI welcomes couples with at least one Jewish partner early in their committed relationship. On our trip, almost every couple was interfaith, so we really had a lot in common. My husband and I were part of the first Atlanta trip to go on HMI.

During the trip, they encouraged us to take notes and journal about our experiences. Almost every night I would write down what we did that day and what I thought about it. I had planned to write a story about it and hopefully getting it published in the Atlanta Jewish Times, since I’m a freelance writer for that newspaper. After we returned home, I started writing a bulleted list of everything we did while referring to my HMI program we were given. It ended up being nine pages long. I used that to write my story and spent months working on it. I edited it down and then pitched the idea to my editor at the Atlanta Jewish Times. He decided to publish it and it went to print late December of 2016. My story was called “Honeymoon Israel: 9 Days to Last a Lifetime.” Click here to read the four-page spread in the travel section of the AJT (pages 62-65). Click here to read the online article.

There were so many things we did that I did not have room to share in my article, so I will share more of what we did in this list below.

Jerusalem:

  • When we first arrived, we had a welcome dinner with the New York Group. We heard from Avraham Infeld that evening as well as the next morning. Avraham Infeld is the President Emeritus of Hillel – the Foundation for Jewish Campus life. He talked about the five-legged table idea and that we are all family, the Jews. He touched on Jewish identity as well. “My vision for the Jewish People is to find a way to be unified without being uniform. We can achieve this vision by constructing a “five-legged table” which allows each person to choose at least three of the following legs to express their Jewish identity: memory, family, covenant, Israel and Hebrew.”
    – Avraham Infeld
  • We joined our friends at a bar on Ben Yihuda Street. We walked down through the shook (market) and it was very interesting seeing all the bars and the people. During the day, the shook is an actual market where they sell fruits, veggies, spices, etc. It looks completely different I hear. I didn’t get a chance to go during the day.

Yad Vashem: The World Holocaust Remembrance Center

  • Touring this museum was very emotional for me, but I learned a lot.
  • The Avenue of the Righteous is dedicated to righteous gentiles who helped save/hide Jews during the Holocaust. There are trees dedicated to them throughout the complex and throughout Israel.
  • The Children’s Memorial: when you walk through it, it is like you are walking a night sky and see the stars. There is an audio recording that constantly plays the name of the children who died in the Holocaust along with where they were from. It is a very emotional piece of the museum.

Sea of Galilee:

  • We stayed at a hotel on a Kibbutz called Kibbutz Ginosar. We learned about the history of Kibbutz life and what it is like now. We learned about the women’s revolution regarding the children. It was interesting to know that children in a Kibbutz used to be raised by everyone. All money and goods were shared with everyone. It was very socialist. Now, about one third of Kibbutzim in Israel are still socialist.
  • We went to Mt. Bental and saw a panoramic view of the Golan Heights and looked from afar into Syria and Lebanon. The next day, we were told there was bombing in Syria that would have been visible from the Golan Heights.
  • We also went rafting down the Jordan River. There weren’t very many rapids, but it was still fun. We got stuck on rocks/ran into the shore and trees. It was very shallow water due to not enough rain. (I saw a picture of the Jordan River recently and it is much deeper now due to winter rains).

Tel Aviv:

  • On the way to Tel Aviv, we stopped and overlooked the ocean and went to Ceasarea, one of the land of Israel’s most important cities in the Roman period.
  • In Ceasarea, we saw the Herodian Theater, which is still in use today. The acoustics are awesome. Then, we saw the new excavations along the Mediterranean shore. It was so pretty to be right by the water. We put our toes in the sand and you could even see the tiled mosaic floors of the what was once the King’s quarters that lead to the sea. We also saw the arena where they raced horses. Our tour guide told us the history and made it feel like we were actually there in Roman times watching a horse race.
  • We did a beach cleanup project with the Zalul environmental organization. Zalul (“clear” in Hebrew) is one of Israel’s leading environmental NGOs. They are dedicated to protecting the seas and rivers in Israel.
  • We picked up trash on the beach. The sand was so hot, we had to bury our feet in the sand so they would not burn. Unfortunately, we got so much tar on our feet from the beach that we had to scrub it off at the hotel. I feel sorry for the maid who had to clean the tar residue from our bathtub!
  • While shopping in the Carmel market, we saw a woman in a shop down the street made a commotion. We think she was trying to steal. My husband saw a man kick the woman and then she caused a fight. We were very uncomfortable and left the shop as soon as we paid. We don’t know what they were yelling about because it was all in Hebrew.
  • The evening we flew out of Israel, we ate at a Georgian-Jewish restaurant called Racha for a late farewell dinner. It was in a historic building in Neve Zedek. It was so ornately and originally decorated with fine china dishes. They gave us dish after dish after dish. There was a lot of meat. I thought it was funny that they said “Chicken is not meat, its salad!” It was a ton of food and probably wasn’t the best meal to have right before a long plane ride. But, we enjoyed it and they had good hospitality.

We had such an amazing tour guide for our trip, Koren Eisner. He was very knowledgeable and taught us so many things. Even his voice was soothing to hear. While I was writing my story for the AJT, I asked around for quotes from various HMI staff and from Koren. He sent me a quote as a recording, and it was great to hear his voice. I couldn’t use it in my story because it was on a subject that I didn’t write about, but I thought I’d end this blog post with his quote. I asked Koren, how does the HMI tour differ from other tours that you usually do?

He said, “In my of my tour groups that I get, people are not just sightseeing, but are searching for something spiritually, religiously, culturally, historically, through a Jewish perspective, through a Christian perspective, through a Muslim perspective, etc. So, that is pretty much a motif. But, with the Honeymoon Israel groups, there is a certain sense of urgency because of the unique stage that the participants are in — getting married, having their first kids. These issues are on the table and need to be addressed. This sense of urgency creates lots of creativity. People come to these tours needing to work, needing to participate, to really have their own spiritual quest as individuals and as couples, and to the community. That is a very powerful thing, the productivity.

Another aspect is the way that people seek one another. You see the friendships, the bonding between people that happen in such a short time but go very deep because of the many things that participants share with one another. I guess it is the need to be a part of the greater community. That’s really inspiring to see. I’m truly grateful that I can play a role in such an amazing project.”

Life after your Wedding: Advice for Newlyweds

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Picture taken waiting for our plane to Hawaii.

Picture taken waiting for our plane to Hawaii.

What should you do after your wedding? Once the planning, the organizing, dreaming, is over, what do you do next? You spent so much time getting ready for this day, but it is over in the blink of any eye. Are you having wedding planning withdrawals? It was a big part of your life for so long. You dreamed of your wedding day since you were a little girl. Depending on when you got engaged or started really deciding what you wanted your wedding to be like, you have been preparing for your big day for months if not years. Do you feel a void now that it is over? Some newlyweds do, but being married is an adventure in itself. Now you are on the next chapter of your life and you should enjoy every moment. Now that your wedding is over, look at it in this perspective: I don’t have to feel stressed anymore. No more seating charts or making favors. I can just sit and relax and enjoy being an Mrs. Enjoy being with my husband and establishing our lives as a married couple.

I planned for my wedding for quite a while. My husband and I have been together for over eight years, so I had plenty of time to dream of and plan for my wedding. I did most of the planning myself, only having a day of coordinator, but I loved every second of it. I made a binder, did my own research, and had a ball with it. Our wedding was the most wonderful day of our lives thus far. The wedding was a blast. The reception, the way everything turned out beautifully and, of course, the hora. People are still talking about it. As much as I enjoyed planning, I have to say I am glad it is over. I do remember mostly everything that happened on our special day, but it did feel like it was over in a flash. We had an amazing honeymoon. Read about it here and here. We have been married for about five months now and marriage is bliss. However, sometimes I do miss preparing for my wedding.

So what can you do to fill that void? Spend time with your spouse. That after all is the reason why you planned an amazing wedding. Go on dates regularly. Dating should not end after you say “I do.” Every couple needs that alone time and bonding with their husband or wife.

Once you get married, and you attend other weddings, it is really fun to just be a guest at a wedding. All the fun with none of the stress. If you are in the wedding, you kind of get to re-live your own wedding but with a different perspective. You can give advice and help plan for your friend’s wedding too. After all, you are now an expert!

Another thing that will fill the void of no longer planning a wedding is looking at your pictures or your video. I have made several photo books of our wedding and honeymoon. The best sites are: Shutterfly.com and AdoramaPix. You can also scrapbook your wedding photos. I am in the process of making the ultimate wedding scrapbook. By the time I finish it will be massive, but I love paper crafting. I am also making a scrapbook for my honeymoon and all the wedding events, including engagement photos, showers, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Cut costs down on your honeymoon scrapbook by taking brochures from all the places you went and things you did and cutting out pictures from those to have unique embellishments and then you don’t have to buy as many stickers. And there’s always looking through your wedding board on Pinterest. I just looked though mine and it was neat to see the transitions in my planning process and what I liked from my pins compared to how the aspects of my wedding actually turned out. Looking at that Pinterest board actually inspired this blog post.

My Wedding Scrapbook. Putting on my dress.

My Wedding Scrapbook. Putting on my dress.

Another scrapbook page. Our first look.

Another scrapbook page. Our first look.

Things to do as Newlyweds

Here are some things you should do after you tie the knot:

  • Enjoy your honeymoon: Spend time just the two of you somewhere tropical without the distractions of work/friends/family and the outside world.
  • Write thank you notes: Make sure to do this within a couple months of your wedding. It helps to do them as you get gifts. I did all the thank you notes myself because I wanted to, but ask your husband to write some of them to share the task.
  • Return the gifts you don’t want: Everyone gets gifts they wish they didn’t receive. It just happens. Going to the stores you registered and exchanging things you don’t want and getting the items off your registry that you really need/want. We still have credit to one store we registered at and don’t really need anything else. We really don’t know what to buy with it!
  • Change your name: I am still going through the process. It is a headache. Go to Social Security before DDS first since Social Security (at least in GA) does not accept paper licensees that you first receive at DDS. Your new license will be mailed to you. Don’t forget to bring your certified copy of your marriage certificate. The most trouble I’ve had with the name change is the banks. What a pain! Here is a checklist for changing your name from The Nest.
  • Review your vendors: I actually got a lot of free stuff for doing this. I got a free canvas print and a Shutterfly photo book. It makes your vendors feel great about the service they gave you, helps their business, and helps other brides planning. Not to mention it feels good letting your vendors know how much you liked them. I did reviews on Wedding Wire, WeddingChannel.com, and also sent emails to vendors as well as writing on their Facebook pages.
  • Preserve your wedding gown: I was told not to go to a dry cleaner. Go to a processional wedding gown preservationist. They will clean and preserve your dress. I couldn’t justify spending as much money as the gown preservation business I contacted charged, so I went a different route. I called the place I got my wedding dress at and they told me about Memories Gown Preservation. You buy a kit, pack up and mail your dress and accessories and in two weeks they mail you your preserved dress in a keepsake box. It will last for thirty years. Maybe one day my daughter will want to wear my mother’s veil that I also wore.
    My preserved wedding dress!

    My preserved wedding dress!

Once you get engaged, everyone always asks you, “When’s the big day?” Once you get married, everyone asks you, “When are you planning on having kids?” I get asked this all the time, and it gets really old. The other day I stated that I was starving and a co-worker asked if I was pregnant. Some day down the road it will happen for us. We are not ready yet and want to live our lives, enjoy being married, and travel to Europe and other destinations before having kids. So, I know I speak for a lot of newlyweds when I say this- stop asking!

I hope this blog post gave some insight on life after the wedding. Wedding planning was a big part of your life for so long, so it’s natural to miss it. But what happens afterwards is something you want to cherish. So, enjoy married life and what’s to come!

happily-ever-after

Honeymoon in Paradise Part 2

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We did so many fun activities on our honeymoon that it was too much for one blog post. Here are more of our experiences on the island of Kauai.

 

Dinner and Sunset Cruise
We went on Captain Andy’s Southern Star Catamaran for a sunset dinner cruise of the Na Pali coast. This area is not accessible by car, only by air, by sea or by foot. But we were able to see the beautiful Na Pali coast by sea and by air (in the helicopter). The boat was very nice and large enough to hold about 50 people. The boat rocked back and forth while hitting the waves, so sometimes I had trouble keeping my balance while walking around the vessel. The staff of the Southern Star had no problem maneuvering around the boat. Being experienced sailors, they have had plenty of practice walking around a moving ship and carrying drinks and serving food. They make it look easy. The staff was fantastic, catering to our every need, always refilling our drinks, telling us about the island and taking our picture in front of the sunset.

The Na pali coast

The Na pali coast

We had a great experience on the boat, and one of the most memorable moments was when a group of dolphins swam along the bow of boat and jumped in and out of the water in front of us. It felt like we were in a movie. A nice thing about this particular catamaran is that there is a full kitchen on board, so the chef cooks everything during the cruise. We were served delicious five-star meal of steak, jumbo shrimp, potatoes and mixed vegetables. After dinner, my husband and I found us a nice spot on a bench in front of the ship, relaxed, had dessert, and watched the sun set in the sky.

Sunset Cruise

Sunset Cruise

Hawaiian Luau
You haven’t really experienced Hawaii unless you have gone to a Hawaiian Luau! We had dinner and saw a spectacular show at Kilohana Plantation. It is one of the larger Luaus on the island and is more commercialized, most likely because it is put on by Norwegian Cruise lines. When we arrived, we were greeted by the dancers dressed in costume and were given Hawaiian Leas. I was very excited about this because I had wanted one from the moment we stepped off the airplane in Kauai! We got a cocktail at the bar and then went on the train tour of the plantation. The tour guide was funny and was very informative, giving us the names of all the plants and trees that we passed and what grew off of them. During the middle of the tour, we stopped and to our right was a fence filled with goats, pigs, and of course chickens (chickens are feral in the islands and are everywhere! Even on the beach). They gave us bread and we fed the animals and watched them fight over the food.

The train tour before the Luau

The train tour before the Luau

After the train tour, we headed to our seats to have dinner. They sat us with other couples and dinner was served buffet style, but they still roasted the traditional pig. The food was good and the show was theatrical style telling a story from Hawaiian culture. The actors and dancers all did a great job and the costumes were impressive looking like Hawaiian clothes and headdresses of the past. After the show they served dessert and coffee and we were able to buy the pictures they took of us when we first arrived. Then we went all around the plantation at all the shops and perused the jewelry and souvenirs that they sold. We really bought a lot of souvenirs during our vacation and somehow they all fit in to our suitcases on our way home. Overall, the Luau was a really neat experience and we were glad we went.

golf 2

On the green

Nine and Wine Golf Game
My husband and I really enjoy playing golf together and we decided to splurge and play a game on a course overlooking the ocean. We went to the golf course at the Marriott in Lihue called Kauai Lagoons Golf Club. We had signed up for a couple’s golf experience called the Nine and Wine. It was nine holes and they give you a bottle of wine and a cheese plate to drink and snack on during your round. I would have to say that I played very well for my experience. Maybe the wine helped! It was a very fun game and we played better-ball. Only a few balls were lost in the ocean, but we didn’t mind because we got to play with an awesome view. The course itself was the nicest one we had ever played at. We rented a cart and clubs and were even given clean towels and a cooler filled with water bottles. We felt a tad bit rushed during the game since there were other couples behind us, but it was a great game and the golf course staff was very accommodating. We were very glad we played there because how many people can say they golfed overlooking the ocean in Kauai? We can!

After the golf game

After the golf game

Those were all the major things we did while in Kauai, and I highly recommend visiting the island. We literally went everywhere you could go and over the two weeks, and got to experience island life. It was the perfect honeymoon and these newlyweds really enjoyed Kauai. We will definitely be going back one day!

Honeymoon in Paradise

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wedding pic two

On September 29, 2013 I married my best friend. It went by in a whirlwind like everyone said it would. It truly was the happiest day of our lives thus far. I couldn’t have asked for a better wedding. Although there were things that did go wrong that weekend, I didn’t let them bother me and my wedding was everything I had hoped for. I couldn’t believe how beautiful the banquet room was decorated for the reception, how lovely the flowers looked, and how delicious and enticing the cakes were. I had a blast on my wedding day. During the ceremony, I felt very honored to say my vows and to marry such an amazing man. Everyone who attended our wedding kept saying how beautiful our wedding ceremony was, how everything was nicely decorated, and how fun the party was! We danced the night away and it truly was very special. I often look back on our photographs from the wedding and relive that amazing day.

wedding pic one

The day after our wedding, we left bright any early for the airport to go on our Honeymoon. We flew 9 hours and traveled a total of 18 hours when we finally arrived to our condo in Kauai, Hawaii- a true paradise! We are so grateful to my aunt and uncle for allowing us to stay in their condo. We were so surprised to find a nice gift basket from my aunt and uncle waiting for us with gift cards to local restaurants and every type of food you could think of made with Macadamia nuts. It was such a thoughtful wedding gift. The condo’s view was amazing and every day we would eat breakfast on the porch and revel in the beautiful scenery.

View from the Condo

View from the Condo

We were lucky that we got to do a lot of fun activities during our time on the island of Kauai, and here is what some of what we did:

Helicopter Tour
Now going into the helicopter tour, I was a bit scared. I had never flown in one before and it seemed frightening. I’m not a big fan of turbulence anyways. But this tour was beyond my expectations. We flew around the whole island, from the high mountain tops to the sandy beaches and rocky cliffs. We went with Safari Helicopter tours and our pilot was great. At some points the pilot flew very close to the mountains and that was a bit unnerving, but I got used to it. The scenery was utterly breathtaking. From the waterfalls to the tree tops, to the farms and flatlands of Hanalei Valley, to the beautiful beaches, it was an amazing sight. My husband took video of the whole flight with his GoPro camera. (The GoPro was a great tool to capture our honeymoon memories and is the camera we used in the videos on this blog post. It’s waterproof and was a must-have for this kind of adventure). That was probably the most exciting and my favorite activity of our honeymoon. Too bad we waited to do it until the very end of our vacation!

On the Helicopter Tour

On the Helicopter Tour

 

Hiking Adventure
My husband and I went on several hiking trips during our stay on Kauai, and I’m not much of a hiker (or an outdoorsy person) so some of them were a bit of a challenge for me.  We hiked up cliffs overlooking the ocean, hiked through the trails through Waimea Canyon to the highest elevation on the island (5,148 feet above sea level), and hiked up a trail on the North shore. I would have to say, our best hike (and the one that pushed me the most) was our hike to the Ho’opi’i  waterfalls. My uncle gave us a great guide book called The Ultimate Kauai Guidebook: Kauai Revealed, which was a valuable resource during our honeymoon. I highly recommend you buy this book if you ever go to Kauai. The book, written by a Kauai resident, not only tells you the best beaches to go to, what restaurants to go to and those to skip, and where to stay, but it also tells you places to go on the island that most people don’t know about. The waterfall hike we went on was one of them. Known, only by the locals and those who have this book, the waterfalls were very secluded and upon finding we felt like we unearthed a hidden treasure.

We parked on the side of the road outside of a neighborhood and found the beginning of the trail. We hiked next to some pastures and then trekked down the trail and through the woods. We made it to the first waterfall and it was so peaceful. The water rushed down the falls and into a lagoon. We were not the only ones there. There were several other people enjoying the falls and we saw them jump into the lagoon and climb up the rocks on the sides of the waterfall. We were not daredevils like them and just took in the scenery and snapped a few photographs.

The book said there was another waterfall a little farther down the trail and we decided to check it out. We walked what felt like forever and finally heard some rushing water. There were two trails you could take, one very small Billy goat path, and one skirting high along the mountain. We took the high road thinking there would be an easy way for us to go down. There was not. We literally had to climb down the extremely steep mountain holding on to tree branches and rocks to hold us up. It took me quite a while to climb down and then we saw other hikers come by and several women and young kids climbed down very quickly with no problems. Like I said, I am not very outdoorsy!

The falls we hiked to

The falls we hiked to


We finally make it to the waterfall, and it is spectacular. I couldn’t believe the beautiful sight. These falls are less intense and the water does not fall as rapidly. The left side of the falls is a slow trickle and the right side has a more rapid waterfall that leads to a pond that you can swim in. We decided to cross the rocks and get in to the water near the falls. This must be done very carefully, as the rocks are very slippery. We literally were crawling across the rocks on our hands and knees so we wouldn’t fall down. We got about chest deep into the water and hung out beneath the falls. I was very proud of myself for climbing up the rocks and standing next to the waterfall. We saw the locals move very quickly climbing through the less intense left side of the waterfall, gliding gracefully across the slippery rocks. We also saw another local bathing in the pool beneath the falls with rushing water all around her. Needless to say, we didn’t try it ourselves! Our hike really was a great adventure. We got a few bug bites, a few scrapes and there was a little complaining from yours truly, but it was a day we will never forget.

Read more about our honeymoon of a lifetime in the next installment coming soon.

Wedding Planning Jitters

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Our Venue: Villa Christina

Our Venue: Villa Christina

According to my Knot.com site and my registries, T-Minus 45 days until we say I do! I look at that number and sort of freak out inside- Ack!  Now, these jitters are not because I’m scared to get married — I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I’m nervous because there is so much left to do! Throughout my whole engagement (a little over a year), I have been planning, organizing and really on top of things.  I booked all my vendors within ample time and created a wedding binder to house all of my ads, lists, notes and contracts. It is almost time for my big day and I’m nervous because now all the final things need to be done, such as song lists, songs for the wedding video, seating charts, timelines, and more. I did everything right on schedule, if not earlier, in regard to wedding planning, and I still feel like I’m behind. Luckily, my fiancé is staying calm, and I have a wedding coordinator to answer all my questions and help out in the planning process. Seems like all I do nowadays is email correspondence with my coordinator, event planner, and vendors so that I can get all my questions answered. But I am so excited to get married and I do love the planning process. I’m not meaning to complain, but it is a lot of stuff to do!

The picture that inspired our cake.

The picture that inspired our cake.

This part of the wedding planning is a bit harder than in the beginning of my planning process because now my parents are living in another state. With their move, we sped up signing all the contracts and such, but it is still hard to do some of the wedding tasks without them. My mother came in town for my bridal shower and we got a whole lot of things done for the wedding during that time. She stayed with us for over a week and we did all the programs, party favors, invitation stuffing, etc. We went through a whole lot of ribbon! I moved up my trial run for hair and makeup and my second fitting so that it could be for when my mom was in town for the shower. It was really nice to get a lot done, but since my mom lives far away, I have to do some of the remaining things on my own or with my Matron of Honor. My MOH is coming with me for my final dress fitting since my mom can’t make it. I will meet with the florist and will do the final walk through and planning session with the event manager for the wedding and my coordinator without the help of my parents. It has been a bit challenging not having my parents here, but it has also allowed me to be more independent. My parents are just an email or phone call away, so it’s not like I can’t get their help.

Similar flowers to our wedding flowers.

Similar flowers to our wedding flowers.

I can’t wait for my wedding! It will be such a fun and meaningful experience. Let’s just hope for no rain as we are having an outdoor ceremony! We recently met with the Rabbi and we went over what we will do in the ceremony, so that helped with the jitters. Just the final tasks to go and we are ready to get married! I’m really looking forward to my bachelorette party as it will be my one last fling before the ring! My bridesmaids are planning a great party for me. I couldn’t be happier with all the help I have gotten from everyone for my wedding. And we are really thankful for all the wonderful gifts we have received. September 29, here we come!

were_getting_married_marry

Cha Cha Cha Changes!

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A while back, I wrote a piece I was very proud of for my blog. Then I read about a writing contest through “Narrative Magazine” where I could potentially win a lot of money and get my name out there. I was not able to post it on my blog until the decision was made on the winner. Unfortunately, I did not win, but now I get to share it with all of you! This is the story I wrote in early March:

changes

Merriam Webster dictionary defines change as: “to give a different position, course, or direction to.”

We all go through changes in our lives, sometimes they just happen more often than you think. Personally, my life is changing right in front of me and in a big way. These changes not only affect me, they affect my family and my soon-to-be family. Change can be hard, but sometimes it is for the best. You have to embrace change and deal with what you have. After all, you only have one life and you must live it fully in the best way possible with whatever hand you are dealt.

I am having a very exciting time in my life — I’m getting married. Marriage is a change that you can only know once you have experienced it. So who better to ask about marriage than my married friends? Marriage changes your outlook on life. Instead of thinking about just you and looking out for number one, you are now a “We.” What’s his is yours and what yours is his. Marriage teaches you to be less selfish. It allows you to feel more secure in your relationship because it is going to last forever (ideally). It opens the lines for communication and allows your partner to share more than they would before. This is because of the bond that is now formed because you become one.

Marriage quote

Planning a wedding is a full time job in itself. And I’m not even hiring a wedding planner! We do have a month-of coordinator, but I am mostly doing all the work myself.  Finding and contacting vendors, getting recommendations, etc. I get a lot of help and opinions from my mom and friends, but it is mainly all on me. Its work, but it sure is fun! Less than 7 months to go! But our planning has to be in full swing much quicker because of some other changes going on. Due to my dad’s job transfer, my parents have to move to Dallas, Texas a few months before the wedding. That kind of threw a wrench in our planning, but we are making it work.

One good thing that will come from my parents’ temporary move is that my fiancé and I will be moving into their house in Marietta! We will get a chance to save some money and put those savings toward a house of our own one day. That will be a big change for us too, especially since the move is for only a year and a half. Most of their stuff will stay in the house but we are bringing some furniture with us. It may be a bit weird at first, but I think this is a good situation and we are very grateful to be able to do it.

were-moving

My fiancé’s parents are also going through a similar change right now. His dad came out of retirement to move to Homestead, Florida and work at the nuclear power plant down there. He and my future mother-in-law moved into an apartment and had to undergo a lot of changes for the 9 months or so that he is working down there. The work requires him to work six 12-hour shifts. Seventy two hours a week, which is the maximum hours a person is legally allowed to work. It is taking a lot out of him and I know it is also hard on my fiancé and his mom. My fiancé and I have been checking on their house in Buford to make sure it is being kept up. Too bad they don’t have relatives living in their house like my parents will when they move.

If you didn’t think that was enough change- think again! My big brother recently got engaged! He and his fiancée (my future sister-in-law!) have been dating for almost three years and he finally popped the question. He proposed in the middle of the sidewalk after eating a nice dinner in their old neighborhood. I’m so happy to have her as a sister and excited that she is also one of my bridesmaids in my wedding! We are very excited for them and look forward to attending their wedding, which will probably be held early next year.

So, we are adding new family and merging families through marriage, and family is moving and dealing with different situations at the same time. But in the end, my family will be stronger and grow larger. Changes are hard at times but it is a fact of life. I’m looking forward to what these changes will bring in the years to come.

Happily Ever After

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So, my blog has been on hiatus for a while and while I was not writing, I now have some news: I’M ENGAGED!

My fiancé did a good job picking out my ring; I love to watch it sparkle!

And now I have before me the daunting task of wedding planning. It is super fun but also can be really stressful. There are so many things to do and remember. But it is great to start the planning early. I’ve been engaged for a little over a month, and so far I’ve gotten a lot of things accomplished.  The date, check! The venue, check! The ceremony officiant, check! A wedding day coordinator, check!

My wedding is about 11 months away, and so far I’m really ahead of the game. I’ve looked at Bridesmaid dresses with my MOH and have a day set aside to try on wedding gowns. I have a good idea of what my bridal party will wear and the colors of my wedding: yellow and gray.

There are a ton of wedding checklists out there, but the one I’ve found the most helpful is on The Knot.com. So far I have accomplished 13 of the tasks on there and have 159 to go. I’m making pretty good progress. Having a wedding coordinator really helps the process and gives you a piece of mind that everything will run smoothly through the time leading up to the wedding and especially on the big day.

Pinterest is a great source for wedding ideas including a lot of do-it-yourself crafts. I really love this idea for the centerpieces: lace and ribbon wrapped floating candle holders. I also love the idea of putting a picture of the bride and groom on the end of each aisle. The frame would have a ribbon tied to it and could be recent photos and photos of the bride and groom as children.

Here are some of my inspirations:

What Love Means to Me

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“Once in a while, right in the middle of everyday life, Love gives us a fairy tale.”

Recently, I was looking through old boxes from my parent’s house and I came across my middle school and high school poetry book. So, I thought I’d share this short piece I wrote on what it means to be in love. It was written in 2001, before I ever had experienced true love for myself. Now, years later, I am very much in love and my writing from my youth has come true.

What is True Love?

True love is when you will do anything for another person no matter the consequences.

True love is the best feeling in the world.

True love is when you mean the world to someone and they mean the world to you.

True love can conquer all obstacles.

True love becomes better and better as the relationship progresses.

True love is when you want to spend every waking moment with someone.

True love lasts when the lust of a relationship fades.

True love is when every moment spent with that special someone is too short and every moment spent without them is too long.

True love is everything. It can survive through any amount of distance and the worst hardships.

True love makes you stronger. It is unconditional and everlasting.

True love is putting yourself in danger so that the one you love will never feel one ounce of pain.

True love is knowing what someone is thinking or exactly how someone feels without saying a word.

True love is waiting your whole life for that special someone.

True love is real.

True love is utter happiness.

True love is sharing great experiences.

True love is about making sacrifices for that person.

True love is dying for someone because you can’t stand living without them.

True love lasts for eternity.

True love is appreciating the little things.

True love is romantic. It is about being amazed by that special someone.

True love is opening your soul and your deepest secrets.

True love is being as close to someone as you can possibly be.

True love feels like the first time, every time.

True love is wonderful and amazing.

By April Zlotnik

February 9, 2001