There are Little Eyes Upon You

As a teen, I dabbled in poetry. I kept a poetry book that included some poems of importance to me that I found from various sources. I wrote a few of the lyrics myself. I recently discovered the book in a box of old mementos from my youth.  I was proud of my meticulously kept compilation of poems. I had a table of contents and made sure to write in my best handwriting. I chose a notebook with a space theme and aliens on the cover. Haha. My nearly 40 compiled poems spanned from 1998 to 2003, from 8th grade until my senior year of high school.

I enjoy looking back on my poems from my youth and remembering what it was like to be a teenager. I open the book and can see myself sitting on my childhood bedroom floor, leaning against my bed, writing and copying down these poems that meant so much to me at the time. I’d share one of the ones I wrote, but let’s just say the poetry was not my best work.

They say children are like sponges. Kids absorb things from their environment. They watch what their parents and caregivers do, what you say to others, how you act, their tone- everything. After becoming a mother, that stuck with me. I want to lead by a good example and teach my child how to be a good person. 

I first heard the following poem during counselor training at a summer camp I worked at one summer as a teen. “There are Little Eyes Upon You,” did not resonate with me then. I remember feeling indifferent about the poem, thinking I did not need the training.  It was a waste of my time. Yet, I later decided it was essential and included it in my poetry book.

There are Little Eyes Upon You

There are little eyes upon you,
and they watch you every day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in everything you say.

There are little hands all eager,
to do everything you do,
And a little child who’s dreaming 
of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol,
you’re the wisest of the wise,
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,
and holds true all you say and do.
He will say and do it your way
when he’s grown up just like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow,
who believes you’re always right.
His ears are always open,
he watches day and night.

You are setting an example,
each day in all you do,
For the little child who’s waiting,
to grow up just like you.

Author Unknown

Parents often see the world differently than children. Adults often focus on the bad, while children see the good in everyday occurrences. For example, you may think you had a terrible day. Maybe you lost your temper and yelled at your child. Perhaps you were late getting them to school, and they missed their morning activity. You burned dinner. You rushed out early for your work meeting and didn’t get to say goodbye to your child before you left the house. Whatever the reason – it’s probably not as bad as you think. There is time to change what you think is a bad day into a good one. As they say on the popular show This is Us, “There’s no lemon so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade.”

Your child likely does not see the day as a bad one. They remember the good things about their day, like a spontaneous trip to get ice cream or cuddles during a bedtime story. So, the next time you think you had a bad day, remember that your child probably saw it in a different light. Our job as parents is to help guide our kids along the way, but we could learn a thing or two from our kids. I once read, “If we saw the world the way children do, the world would be a better place.” I wholeheartedly agree.

I’m not a parenting expert by far. I strive to achieve and remember the advice that I gave in this post. Sometimes, I yell at my child. I try not to, but I lose my patience quickly when my son misbehaves. I’m sure this happens to many other parents from time to time. Fellow parents, we are all definitely “growing up while raising humans.”

I hope this poem and my post resonated with you. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll write another poem.

Keep reading!

You Might be a Mom If…

I got the idea for this blog post while rushing to get ready during my son’s morning nap. After all, you never know how long a child will nap for. I started thinking about how I’ve changed as a mom and things I do now that I never did prior to having my son. Some of these things are funny, some are serious, but I came up with this list in hopes that other moms could relate to it. And, also for a good laugh! Some of these facts relate to all moms, just stay-at-home-moms, all parents, moms with young babies and some maybe just to me. Here it goes…

You might be a mom if….

  • You’re a pro at doing things one-handed because you’re carrying a baby in the other.
  • You make up songs about your baby, mundane tasks, really anything at all because your baby loves it when you sing.
  • You go to the store with no makeup and unwashed hair, and you’re OK with that.
  • You need a support group of other moms going through the same thing as you.
  • You race to get everything done during your child’s nap
  • You think you can’t possibly have any more baby gear or toys and then you buy the next thing your child “needs.”
  • You always have spit up or baby food on your clothes, and you stopped caring about it.
  • You are always doing laundry. Always!
  • There are usually always dirty dishes by your sink.
  • You try many different brands of diapers and wipes, and you will find the ones that you like the best.
  • You didn’t know you could love this way.
  • You can’t wait for them to reach the next milestone (rolling over, crawling, walking, etc.) and then when they do you are like oh great! Now you have to chase after them!
  • Your schedule revolves around your child’s naps.
  • You would rather hang out with other moms versus friends without children, because they know what you are going through.
  • You have your good days and bad, but even the bad days still manage to have good aspects of them.
  • You never knew how much you needed your friends until now. Sadly, some of those friendships will fall apart post-kids.
  • You can’t wait to leave your house, whether it is to go to the grocery store, the park or somewhere that’s actually exciting.
  • You worry about money more than pre-kids and, if you do splurge, it’s usually on something for your children.
  • You know all the story times within a 20-minute radius, the best parks in the area and all the fun things to do with your child that is age-appropriate.
  • You are in at least five Moms groups on social media. In fact, your social media is mostly about parenthood these days.
  • You rarely get a night away, but if you do get a sitter, you are going to enjoy every minute of it (while spending a good chunk of your time talking about your children).
  • You know all the kid consignment stores in the area, the best seasonal consignment sales and all the stores with the best deals for baby and kids’ clothes, toys and gear.
  • Your house will never be clean. There will be toys and baby gear everywhere.
  • You never thought you could have so many conversations about baby poop.
  • You will find the best way to get rid of diaper rash that works for your child.
  • Your body will probably never be the same, but that’s OK. You made a human!
  • Vacations and weekends are not really breaks or time to get away anymore, but you still can’t wait for them to get here!
  • You get asked rude questions on your parenting judgment pretty often.
  • You’ll learn not to care if you get a bodily fluid on you. Little boys sure like to pee on you!
  • Your pregnancy brain turns into mom brain.
  • You figure out what works for your child, then something changes and you have to start all over again.
  • You cry over the littlest things. And sometimes the big things. Like on your child’s first birthday, because your little baby isn’t a baby anymore.
  • Your kid does something weird and you think, “I hope that doesn’t stick!”
  • You sometimes wish that your newborn baby didn’t fall asleep on you. And, when they get older you wish they would still fall asleep on you because you realized that you took those sweet baby cuddles for granted. (Cherish them now because they will go away. Babies don’t keep.)
  • You wouldn’t trade motherhood for the world. It may be hard, but it is sure worth it!

What else about motherhood would you add to this list? Share with me in the comments section!

Life after your Wedding: Advice for Newlyweds

Picture taken waiting for our plane to Hawaii.

Picture taken waiting for our plane to Hawaii.

What should you do after your wedding? Once the planning, the organizing, dreaming, is over, what do you do next? You spent so much time getting ready for this day, but it is over in the blink of any eye. Are you having wedding planning withdrawals? It was a big part of your life for so long. You dreamed of your wedding day since you were a little girl. Depending on when you got engaged or started really deciding what you wanted your wedding to be like, you have been preparing for your big day for months if not years. Do you feel a void now that it is over? Some newlyweds do, but being married is an adventure in itself. Now you are on the next chapter of your life and you should enjoy every moment. Now that your wedding is over, look at it in this perspective: I don’t have to feel stressed anymore. No more seating charts or making favors. I can just sit and relax and enjoy being an Mrs. Enjoy being with my husband and establishing our lives as a married couple.

I planned for my wedding for quite a while. My husband and I have been together for over eight years, so I had plenty of time to dream of and plan for my wedding. I did most of the planning myself, only having a day of coordinator, but I loved every second of it. I made a binder, did my own research, and had a ball with it. Our wedding was the most wonderful day of our lives thus far. The wedding was a blast. The reception, the way everything turned out beautifully and, of course, the hora. People are still talking about it. As much as I enjoyed planning, I have to say I am glad it is over. I do remember mostly everything that happened on our special day, but it did feel like it was over in a flash. We had an amazing honeymoon. Read about it here and here. We have been married for about five months now and marriage is bliss. However, sometimes I do miss preparing for my wedding.

So what can you do to fill that void? Spend time with your spouse. That after all is the reason why you planned an amazing wedding. Go on dates regularly. Dating should not end after you say “I do.” Every couple needs that alone time and bonding with their husband or wife.

Once you get married, and you attend other weddings, it is really fun to just be a guest at a wedding. All the fun with none of the stress. If you are in the wedding, you kind of get to re-live your own wedding but with a different perspective. You can give advice and help plan for your friend’s wedding too. After all, you are now an expert!

Another thing that will fill the void of no longer planning a wedding is looking at your pictures or your video. I have made several photo books of our wedding and honeymoon. The best sites are: Shutterfly.com and AdoramaPix. You can also scrapbook your wedding photos. I am in the process of making the ultimate wedding scrapbook. By the time I finish it will be massive, but I love paper crafting. I am also making a scrapbook for my honeymoon and all the wedding events, including engagement photos, showers, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Cut costs down on your honeymoon scrapbook by taking brochures from all the places you went and things you did and cutting out pictures from those to have unique embellishments and then you don’t have to buy as many stickers. And there’s always looking through your wedding board on Pinterest. I just looked though mine and it was neat to see the transitions in my planning process and what I liked from my pins compared to how the aspects of my wedding actually turned out. Looking at that Pinterest board actually inspired this blog post.

My Wedding Scrapbook. Putting on my dress.

My Wedding Scrapbook. Putting on my dress.

Another scrapbook page. Our first look.

Another scrapbook page. Our first look.

Things to do as Newlyweds

Here are some things you should do after you tie the knot:

  • Enjoy your honeymoon: Spend time just the two of you somewhere tropical without the distractions of work/friends/family and the outside world.
  • Write thank you notes: Make sure to do this within a couple months of your wedding. It helps to do them as you get gifts. I did all the thank you notes myself because I wanted to, but ask your husband to write some of them to share the task.
  • Return the gifts you don’t want: Everyone gets gifts they wish they didn’t receive. It just happens. Going to the stores you registered and exchanging things you don’t want and getting the items off your registry that you really need/want. We still have credit to one store we registered at and don’t really need anything else. We really don’t know what to buy with it!
  • Change your name: I am still going through the process. It is a headache. Go to Social Security before DDS first since Social Security (at least in GA) does not accept paper licensees that you first receive at DDS. Your new license will be mailed to you. Don’t forget to bring your certified copy of your marriage certificate. The most trouble I’ve had with the name change is the banks. What a pain! Here is a checklist for changing your name from The Nest.
  • Review your vendors: I actually got a lot of free stuff for doing this. I got a free canvas print and a Shutterfly photo book. It makes your vendors feel great about the service they gave you, helps their business, and helps other brides planning. Not to mention it feels good letting your vendors know how much you liked them. I did reviews on Wedding Wire, WeddingChannel.com, and also sent emails to vendors as well as writing on their Facebook pages.
  • Preserve your wedding gown: I was told not to go to a dry cleaner. Go to a processional wedding gown preservationist. They will clean and preserve your dress. I couldn’t justify spending as much money as the gown preservation business I contacted charged, so I went a different route. I called the place I got my wedding dress at and they told me about Memories Gown Preservation. You buy a kit, pack up and mail your dress and accessories and in two weeks they mail you your preserved dress in a keepsake box. It will last for thirty years. Maybe one day my daughter will want to wear my mother’s veil that I also wore.
    My preserved wedding dress!

    My preserved wedding dress!

Once you get engaged, everyone always asks you, “When’s the big day?” Once you get married, everyone asks you, “When are you planning on having kids?” I get asked this all the time, and it gets really old. The other day I stated that I was starving and a co-worker asked if I was pregnant. Some day down the road it will happen for us. We are not ready yet and want to live our lives, enjoy being married, and travel to Europe and other destinations before having kids. So, I know I speak for a lot of newlyweds when I say this- stop asking!

I hope this blog post gave some insight on life after the wedding. Wedding planning was a big part of your life for so long, so it’s natural to miss it. But what happens afterwards is something you want to cherish. So, enjoy married life and what’s to come!

happily-ever-after