This is the year I turn 40. EEK! I’ll be over the hill. My birthday is not until September, but I already feel it coming because my husband and some friends have turned 40 or will soon. I am not looking forward to turning 40–it seems so old–four decades of life. I am sure once it gets closer to my birthday, I will be looking forward to it, but it seems like something I don’t want to celebrate right now.
I’m thankful for my life and my family. They are what keeps me going. I am fortunate to have such great people and caring friends in my corner. Life, however, does not come without struggles. These past few years have been tough for me, health-wise. As I shared in a previous post, my mental health has been challenging for me. I live life day by day. There are ups and downs, but I’m grateful to have a happy life. I can’t be happy all the time, of course, but there are more good days than bad.
I’ve been told that when you hit 40, your body starts “falling apart.” Many people experience health problems, aches, and pains not present in their 20s and early 30s. I know for me, I’ve struggled with pain for the last ten years. Sometimes it feels like my body is failing me. But I think about how it could be much worse and I’m not in terrible, excruciating pain all the time. I recently saw a meme about how when you get older and something hurts, that’s how it is now- forever. It was a joke, but it’s partially true.
I am a mom to a great kid! He is so sweet, smart, and caring. My friendly, talkative, energetic little boy. (Who at 6.5 is not so little anymore…) I quit my job after my son was born to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on it, but I am glad I spent so much time with my little one. Now that he’s in elementary school, I am at a crossroads. What do I do with my time to myself? What do I do that excites me, fulfills me, and gives me more purpose to pursue my dreams? See my related post, “The Kids Are in School, Now What?” I want a job, but I like my freedom and the time to get things done. I have always wished to have not just a job but a respected career. I’ve never been in a high-level position before. I thought that by 40, I would be in a different place in my career and have it all figured out. One day I’ll get there.
If I get a job, I still want to pick my son up from the bus and take him to activities, play with him, and help him with his homework after school. A part-time job would be ideal. Honestly, I’m a little scared to put myself back out there. I haven’t worked in 6 years. Would employers consider me because of the large gap? What kinds of jobs am I qualified for? I have a degree in Communication, but it seems that in every job posting, I’m overqualified or don’t have enough experience. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? What do I want to be when I “grow up”? More like growing old… Time will tell. Whatever happens, it is meant to be.
Forty years of life experience. Forty is not considered as old now as it used to be. I’m happy I’m here and that I have a blessed life. Five years from now I wonder what life will look like for me.
Happy 40th Birthday to my fellow 1985 babies! And here’s to the next 40 and beyond!
I was born a Valley Girl. I lived in LA (Northridge) until I was nearly six and my family moved to Atlanta. I have spent over 30 years in the South but I don’t consider myself a Southerner. I’ve been back to California many times since the big move, mainly to LA. I have an aunt and Uncle who live in San Francisco and I’ve visited them many times since I was a kid. Recently my husband and I took our son to see them and the Bay Area. We had many fun experiences during our San Francisco vacation (and a few setbacks) but thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
From touring the city to an amusement park, a county fair, a national park, and a sailboat ride, we packed it all in during our stay. It took a full day’s travel there and back, so we had five days of sightseeing and activities in the Bay Area. (and a sixth unplanned day, which I will cover later)
Day 1: Sonoma-Marin Fair We had a great time at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma. It was my second visit to this fair. I went when I was thirteen years old and visited my family over the summer. Now, I got to experience the fair with my husband and son. We enjoyed the rides. My son and I loved going on the Ferris Wheel. My husband would not get on a Ferris wheel, so he watched us from the ground. My son rode on a pony, rode his first little roller coaster, and rode all day. There were livestock shows, rabbits to look at (raised by kids in the local 4H club), artwork, and farm animals. It was a wonderful day.
Day 2: Train Town My son LOVES trains. He plays with toy trains and runs model trains. He could talk about trains all day. He knows the names of all the parts and how they work together. He loves Thomas and Friends and The Polar Express. On the second day of our trip, we went to Train Town, a train amusement park. He was in heaven. We rode a small train that went throughout the park. It was a wooded area with waterfalls and a small town similar to those used in model railroad displays. We got off the train and went to all the shops, the fire stations, the school, etc. It was so neat to look at everything. We fed llamas and goats at the petting zoo.
Train Town also has amusement park rides. We went on the scrambler and that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. We all loved it. We then rode the roller coaster. The coaster was much bigger than my son rode the day before at the fair. He was so brave. I went on it with him the first time. It had been so long since I’d been on a roller coaster, and even though it was a kid’s ride, I still felt a rush of adrenaline, and it was a little scary for me. My husband and son went on it next and then my son rode it all by himself. He was so brave and had so much fun. Train Town has a few old caboose and train cars that have been renovated and restored. My son had a blast walking through and climbing on these cars playing a pretend game riding the train. We stopped for lunch and then returned to the park, closing it down. He still talks about going back.
Day 3: The City. San Francisco There is so much to see in San Francisco, you can’t possibly do it all in one day. We drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was foggy, so not a great view. We started our city day by driving down Lombard Street, the crookedest street in the world. It’s neat to look down from the top and see the winding road. We stopped at the bottom to take pictures and headed to our next stop, Fisherman’s Wharf. We played vintage arcade games at Musee Mecanique. This was my first time there and we all loved it. The arcade is one of the world’s largest privately owned collections of coin-operated mechanical musical instruments and antique arcade games. You can play any of their 300-plus machines in original working condition. Most games are between 25 cents to a dollar. We played some of the musical instruments. My son especially enjoyed the self-playing mechanical pianos and wack a mole. I liked the fortune teller and the mechanical carnival. They also had pinball machines and some more modern games from the 1980s. Many of the arcade games are from the early 1900s.
We then had lunch on the Wharf at Boudin Bakery. Their calm chowder in a sourdough bread bowl is the best. Afterward, we went to Ghiradelli Square and got huge ice cream sundaes. I still can’t believe we at the whole thing! Delicious! We ended our day with a cable car ride, my son’s favorite thing of the day. He sat in the front on the outside of the car and loved every second of the ride. San Francisco cable cars are the only man-operated cable car systems operating today.
Day 4: Muir Woods We enjoyed being in nature at Muir Woods National Monument, where you can walk among beautiful, huge redwood trees. It was very serene and incredible to be among the giant trees. We walked the trails and then drove up Mount Tamalpais, the mountain in which Muir Woods is located. We saw the beautiful scenery of the Bay Area. You could barely see the Bay Bridge beneath the fog. We had lunch at In N Out Burger, one of our favorite burger places on the West Coast that we don’t have at home in Atlanta.
Day 5: Sailboat Cruise on the Bay. Pier 39 My husband booked us on a sailboat cruise on the Bay, and it was wonderful! We boarded the boat on Pier 39, a touristy place with shops and restaurants. The famous seals relax on the docks at the pier, but there were not as many seals as usual that day. We boarded the boat and were very excited to set sail. Then, a camp group boarded with about 15 kids and two counselors. We were less than thrilled about all the children on the boat, but they were very well behaved and my son made friends with a little boy from the camp. They played pirates and my son tried to give this little boy he’d never see again our address, which was very cute.
The boat was a bit rocky on the bow. You could ride on the very front of the sailboat in the open air and see the beautiful views. We passed Alcatraz Island, the prison, and saw dolphins riding behind the sailboat. The boat passed under the Golden Gate Bridge, which you could only see clearly for about a minute beneath the fog. The ride was one of the most enjoyable highlights of our trip.
Baggage Issues and Flight Delays: We had 3 major bag issues on the trip. Three! When we arrived at the airport in Atlanta, we checked in our bags and decided to go on the Plane Train. We didn’t even need to go on it because we were departing from T gates, but we wanted Nathan to experience the ride. Ryan was in charge of my carry-on bag. We got off the plane train and stood by the exit to decide what to do next. We wanted to let Nathan ride on the moving sidewalk. Then, I got a phone call. An airport worker told us he had our bag and tried to return it to us. What?! We didn’t even know it was missing! Ryan left the bag on the plane train! The guy was very nice and returned the bag. We were very thankful.
Our bag struggles had just begun. We landed in San Francisco and it was time to get off the plane. I got off first, thinking Ryan would grab the carry-on bag and come behind me with our son. Well, I got off and waited for them. They didn’t come. I called Ryan and he asked if I had the bag. I said no. He told me it wasn’t in the overhead compartment. Someone must have taken our bag off the plane by mistake! He stayed on the plane and talked with the flight attendants about the problem. He told me to go to baggage claim and see if I could spot someone with our bag. I was a little intimidated about confronting the person who took our bag. I didn’t see anyone with the bag. I also got my checked bag off the baggage carousel and my son’s bag.
Ryan called me and said that one bag was left on the plane. It must belong to the person who took our bag. The flight attendant told him to take it, call the number on the luggage tag, and see about swapping bags. They said if it didn’t work out take it to bag services. We crossed our fingers that it would work. Ryan called the number on the bag tag. No answer. He texted them. No answer. Finally, they picked up the phone and said they would return to the airport to exchange the bags.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s bag did not come off the baggage carousel. It was lost luggage! What was happening to us? We have the worst luck with bags! Ryan went to claim his lost luggage. We looked at the bag tag the agent had given us when we dropped off the bag in Atlanta. It said “Greg Storm, McAllen, Texas.” What?! They had marked the wrong bag and it went to Texas instead of San Francisco.
While Ryan was handling his bag situation at bag services, I exchanged the carry-on bag with the strangers. They had left the airport and returned to meet us outside the baggage claim for the swap. I recognized our bag and we swapped. They were very apologetic. We have the bag back! I still couldn’t believe that this was happening.
My aunt and uncle took us back to their house without Ryan’s bag. It was supposed to arrive in 24 to 48 hours. We put our son to bed and then went shopping for some clothes and necessities for Ryan. We were planning to go to the city the next day and all he had were the clothes on his back. He needed something warm and we did not find anything warm for him at Target. We pushed back the city trip and bought him shorts, T-shirts, and toiletries to get him by. The bag finally arrived the next evening at 10 pm, almost 28 hours later. Whew! What an ordeal!
Unplanned Day 6: The morning we were leaving San Francisco, we got an email saying our flight was delayed and we would miss our connecting flight. Therefore, they changed our itineraries. Since we booked the flights separately, they put us on different flights! They had Ryan going to Miami, and then to Atlanta, arriving the following morning. They had my son and me flying to Dallas and then staying overnight to arrive in Atlanta the next day. What?! Just our luck… Ryan called the airline and got us all on a reasonable flight, but we would have to stay an extra day in San Francisco. Luckily, we were staying with family so we did not need to get a hotel. We were ready to come home but made the best of it by taking our son to the local park and out for lunch.
Finally, we flew home and arrived in Atlanta late that evening. Our son fell asleep on the ride home. He had the worst time recovering from jet lag. He couldn’t fall asleep until very late and struggled with it. His sleep was interrupted for nearly 10 days. It was a struggle. Kids and time change do not mix!
Overall, we had a wonderful family vacation. We experienced fun and exciting things and look forward to our next adventure.
I’ve always loved reading. I learned how to read near the end of kindergarten. When I was in second grade, I discovered the world of books for the first time. I had just moved to another school and didn’t know many people. The world of reading kept me company and transformed me into faraway lands of my imagination. Of course, I enjoyed being read to as a kid, but once I could read myself, I started to love reading. I remember reading my first chapter book in third grade. “Wayside School is Falling Down.” It was a silly book, but I was so proud of myself for reading it. I used to get chapter books at the bookstore and even asked for some for my birthday. Books were $3 a piece back in the ‘90s! My favorite books as a kid were The Babysitters Club, Judy Blume books, and Sweet Valley High. My babysitter used to bring her old books to me to borrow. I am so glad I learned a passion for reading as a kid. My son seems to have the same passion for books, though he hasn’t learned to read yet. I hope it continues to stay that way for him.
Reading my son a bedtime story.
We used to have contests to see who could read a page the fastest, and I attribute that to how fast I read today. I was always the kid in school who read ahead while reading aloud in class, and I used to prefer reading traditional books over listening to an audiobook. These days, I switch between Kindle books and audiobooks through the Libby library app. I enjoy listening to books in the car or while folding laundry. Since my books are usually not kid-friendly, I can only listen to them alone or using my earbuds. Some people prefer paperback books, but I find them bulky and annoying to read nowadays.
A great way to talk about books is to join a book club! Book discussion can lead to different perspectives on your perception of the book. You may see things one way, and a friend thought of something different. Discussion can lead to a better understanding of the book, and it’s fun to share about a book you love with others. However, sometimes the chosen book is not a genre or story you enjoy.
I’m in two book clubs. One meets on weekday mornings every six weeks, and the other club meets monthly on the weekend. My weekday book club is through my mom’s group. We usually meet at a restaurant for brunch or someone’s house to discuss the book. Near the end, we end up talking about other things. Then, we pick the next book we will read. Someone usually suggests a book, and then we all vote on it. In the past, we have read “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” by Taylor Jenkins Reid, “It Ends with Us” by Colleen Hoover, “Becoming” by Michelle Obama, mysteries, and so many more. We have met for about five years, with new members joining often. I’m looking forward to reading our January book, “The Woman in Me” by Brittany Spears.
My weekend book club is called Rogue Book Club. They have been meeting for over 12 years, and the members have rotated through. Some members have been in the book club for a very long time. I joined in 2021 and haven’t been as active in it as I wish due to scheduling conflicts. Rogue Book Club meets monthly at a different member’s house. The host chooses the book that month, which allows for a wide variety of books and genres. I hope to attend more meetings in the coming year.
With both of these book clubs, I have a lot of books on my reading list! I don’t read every book, and if I haven’t gotten a chance to read the current selection, I often skip the meeting. If I don’t finish the book, I usually still go, but once I find out the ending during the meeting, I don’t finish the book. With so many assigned books, it’s hard to keep up!
I pick and choose what I want to read, whether it is a book club book or a novel I want to read myself. I read my favorite authors and many popular books. I also read book recommendations from friends. I have so many books on my to-read list, that I won’t ever wonder what to read next! I have about 7 or 8 printed books at home I have yet to read and about three on my Kindle app I have not started yet. That does not include my ever-growing Amazon wish list of books to read! Wherever I find an interesting book, I add it to that wish list. There are about two dozen books on there I’d like to read someday.
It takes me a few weeks to read a book, and I often read two at a time. I read one physical or ebook and listen to one audiobook. I get bored reading more than 50 pages at a time, so it takes me a while to finish. It’s hard to read while watching my son, so I find time here or there to get a few pages in. I like to listen to books while folding laundry, making dinner, or even driving.
Buying books can add up quickly, and I try to find the most economical way to read them. One way is the Libby app through my local public library. Most libraries have an app where you can check out ebooks for free and read or listen to them on your device. It has been a lifesaver for me! You can check out a book for 21 days. I often have to check them out twice because I didn’t have time to finish it. There are waits for popular books, and you can put them on hold to wait for your turn. I put a few books on hold at a time so I always have something to read. Often, they all become available at once, and I have to figure that out! You can suspend the hold until you are ready to read it, which is helpful. eBooks transfer from Libby to your Kindle app, so it’s very convenient. Once your 21 days are up, the book is no longer available in your app. I listen to the audiobooks directly through Libby.
If there is a long wait, or if the book is unavailable from the library, I will buy the book on Kindle or even a paperback. Often, Costco is the least expensive place to buy a book. I know many people use Audible for audiobooks, and I have used my husband’s account a few times, but I mainly stick to Libby. I used to buy all my books through Kindle, which became very costly. Thank goodness for free books on Libby!
So, what is on my reading list?
I recently enjoyed:
Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid Maybe Someday and Maybe Now by Colleen Hoover The Husbands by Chandler Baker Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo The Guest List by Lucy Foley The Summer Place by Jennifer Weiner Meant to Be by Emily Giffin Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry (RIP)
On my ever-growing to-read list:
Never Never by Colleen Hoover and Tarryn Fisher Forever Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid The People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry Mad Honey by Jody Picoult The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham Winter Street by Elin Hilderbrand The Housemaid by Freida McFadden Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover The Measure by Nikki Erlick Dreamland by Nicholas Sparks Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng #IMOMSOHARD by Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley After You by Jojo Moyes
And so much more!
I hope this post inspired you to pick up a book and read it. I hope you discovered new authors you haven’t heard about or book recommendations to try.
I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on being one. I planned to return to work or find a new job where I felt more valued and had flexibility for a parent. Then my son was born prematurely, and I felt the need to stay home to keep him safe. I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone the entire day. It’s been five years, and I savor our time together. He will never be little again, and I feel blessed to be able to stay home.
As with most anything, there are positives and negatives to any situation. Staying home means spending all day in my pajamas with my kid sometimes. It means not always having a schedule (though I put my child on a daily schedule with naps and mealtime). It means we can go to the park whenever we want and hang out with friends often. On the other hand, I often felt isolated. Some days, we didn’t have anyone to see or any playdates. Those days often were boring and mundane. I would go to Target with my baby just to leave the house. I craved adult interaction, which I found in my moms’ group, but I would still watch the clock waiting for my husband to get home from work. Mothers sometimes lose their purpose after having kids, especially stay-at-home moms. I know I’m still looking for mine.
When my son turned 2 (in 2020), I jumped at the chance of putting him in preschool a few days a week. I couldn’t sit at home with him all day every day and wait until my husband got home from work. The pandemic was very hard on everyone. I feel lucky that I was isolated for only two months. Living in Georgia, our state opened up earlier than most. I went to the park with my moms’ group and interacted with friends. We were nervous and worried about getting COVID but were going crazy staying in our homes all the time without anyone other than our young children. Zoom playgroups do NOT work. I know from experience!
Those parents who stayed home every day with their kids and saw no one in person, I don’t know how you did it. Those who did virtual school AND worked a the same time, I applaud you. They were trying times, and I think we all did what we did to survive. I’m so thankful we are in our new normal.
It was a hard decision to put my son in preschool during COVID. Being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing but also can be very isolating. My child is a handful sometimes, and I needed a little break to get errands and housework done without interruption and see a friend or two. He loves school, and I don’t regret a thing.
Babies don’t keep. My son recently turned FIVE, eek! He graduated Pre-K in May. Adjusting from attending school three days a week to five was hard on me. He is my only child, and I do not work outside the home (yet). You wouldn’t think four hours a day of free time is a bad thing. (Well, less than that because I spent a LOT of time driving back and forth from his preschool, which is far from our house.) I have been struggling to find things to fill up my time.
My Son’s First Day of Preschool.Nathan playing at school.Preschool Graduation
I’m lonely. I try to stay busy and see friends, run errands, do laundry, read books, write and journal, etc. I do all these things, yet I STILL feel lonely. I crave social interaction, and isolation is not healthy for me.
Going into the last school year, I knew I needed to volunteer or find a job. Things didn’t work out where I felt I could work. I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and putting myself back out there is hard. Here we are as another school year approaches, and I’m still unsatisfied. I’m still lonely. I still don’t have a sense of purpose other than “just a mom.”
My husband and I decided that I would look for a job in the fall once our son enters kindergarten and we get used to the new routine. I get to enjoy one more summer with our son before I go back to work, likely part-time. With mental health struggles, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Health is so important, and I’m scared to re-enter the workplace. I’m nervous about handling a new job when feeling down or depressed. I’m scared of what the added stress will do to my health. But deep down, I know I can do it. I worked for over ten years before leaving the workplace to focus on my family. Now is the time.
A few years ago, I wrote a piece, “More Than Just Mom.” This quote from that article still resonates with me today.
“From this point going forward, I’m going to set a goal for myself. I’m going to start focusing on myself. This doesn’t mean I won’t give my all as a mother, because I will. It means I need to start practicing self-care and recreating my sense of identity. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish this yet. Maybe it involves reconnecting with my hobbies. Maybe, it involves writing more often in publications like this one. It may look like taking a class or getting a part-time job. It could be as simple as reconnecting with friends I have lost touch with. This journey is mine and mine alone. I know that whatever I decide will be the right choice for me.”
Now, I’ll take my advice.
Maybe, I’ll return to school for a continuing education course involving writing or social media marketing. I don’t want to go back to being a secretary, but most of my full-time work experience is in administration. I have a degree in journalism, but it’s challenging to get a writing job that is not freelance. Though, I did my fair share of freelance work.
Working part-time, will I have time to work, finish housework, and have the best of both worlds? Hopefully, I’ll be home when my son gets off the bus from school. We shall see.
I look forward to where I’ll be a year from now, to see how far I’ve come and what I will accomplish. Here’s to the future and what it may bring!
As a teen, I dabbled in poetry. I kept a poetry book that included some poems of importance to me that I found from various sources. I wrote a few of the lyrics myself. I recently discovered the book in a box of old mementos from my youth. I was proud of my meticulously kept compilation of poems. I had a table of contents and made sure to write in my best handwriting. I chose a notebook with a space theme and aliens on the cover. Haha. My nearly 40 compiled poems spanned from 1998 to 2003, from 8th grade until my senior year of high school.
I enjoy looking back on my poems from my youth and remembering what it was like to be a teenager. I open the book and can see myself sitting on my childhood bedroom floor, leaning against my bed, writing and copying down these poems that meant so much to me at the time. I’d share one of the ones I wrote, but let’s just say the poetry was not my best work.
They say children are like sponges. Kids absorb things from their environment. They watch what their parents and caregivers do, what you say to others, how you act, their tone- everything. After becoming a mother, that stuck with me. I want to lead by a good example and teach my child how to be a good person.
I first heard the following poem during counselor training at a summer camp I worked at one summer as a teen. “There are Little Eyes Upon You,” did not resonate with me then. I remember feeling indifferent about the poem, thinking I did not need the training. It was a waste of my time. Yet, I later decided it was essential and included it in my poetry book.
There are Little Eyes Upon You
There are little eyes upon you, and they watch you every day. There are little ears that quickly take in everything you say.
There are little hands all eager, to do everything you do, And a little child who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s idol, you’re the wisest of the wise, In his little mind about you no suspicions ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly, and holds true all you say and do. He will say and do it your way when he’s grown up just like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow, who believes you’re always right. His ears are always open, he watches day and night.
You are setting an example, each day in all you do, For the little child who’s waiting, to grow up just like you.
Author Unknown
Parents often see the world differently than children. Adults often focus on the bad, while children see the good in everyday occurrences. For example, you may think you had a terrible day. Maybe you lost your temper and yelled at your child. Perhaps you were late getting them to school, and they missed their morning activity. You burned dinner. You rushed out early for your work meeting and didn’t get to say goodbye to your child before you left the house. Whatever the reason – it’s probably not as bad as you think. There is time to change what you think is a bad day into a good one. As they say on the popular show This is Us, “There’s no lemon so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade.”
Your child likely does not see the day as a bad one. They remember the good things about their day, like a spontaneous trip to get ice cream or cuddles during a bedtime story. So, the next time you think you had a bad day, remember that your child probably saw it in a different light. Our job as parents is to help guide our kids along the way, but we could learn a thing or two from our kids. I once read, “If we saw the world the way children do, the world would be a better place.” I wholeheartedly agree.
I’m not a parenting expert by far. I strive to achieve and remember the advice that I gave in this post. Sometimes, I yell at my child. I try not to, but I lose my patience quickly when my son misbehaves. I’m sure this happens to many other parents from time to time. Fellow parents, we are all definitely “growing up while raising humans.”
I hope this poem and my post resonated with you. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll write another poem.
Hello, subscribers. I have been waiting to post something since this summer. If we have been chatting, you know this summer was less than stellar for me.
I have been thinking about what to post next. This post is one of the many stories I have been writing in my head all summer long:
I am a Millennial. I consider myself an older millennial or xennial: part of the Oregon Trail Generation if you will. I was born in 1985, smack dab in the middle of the 1980s. I grew up with an older brother. He basically controlled the TV in our household. My brother is an older millennial, so I consider myself one too.
Many would say millennials get a bad rap. We, older Millennials, are nearly 40. (I am about to be 36 and am super happy about it- for the record). Why do we get classified with the younger millennials? I say it is because generations stick together.
When I graduated high school, our generation was called Generation Y. We were the kids of the millennium. We had the best of both worlds. Life before technology. Life before smartphones. I am sure you have seen all seen the memes about this.
Now, we live in a world where we are glued to our phones. As a parent and as a human, this is a difficult situation for me. I talk to Google like she is my friend. My son also talks to Google, which is quite funny.
Anyways, without further ado: here is my list that I have been compiling all summer:
Signs you might be an older Millennial:
New technology is not your strong suit.
You bought your first Chromebook and still have no idea how to start a zoom call on it. (yet, you will figure it out)
You are looking at your printer (which is hooked up and plugged in) that has not worked in years.
You remember your childhood vividly, basing years on the grade you were in/what a wonderful summer you had.
You love the 80s and 90s nostalgia.
You have a memory of riding in the back of a pickup truck.
You also have a memory of riding in the back of a minivan with no seats. Seatbelts seemed optional, but you knew you were supposed to wear them.
Nickelodeon was the best. TGIF was even better.
You may have graduated college during a recession.
You are becoming a parent or raising a child during a pandemic: pandemic toddlers are so resilient.
You are a believer in social justice, at least I am.
You know exactly where you were when you heard of the death of Princess Diana. You remember who you were with at the time.
The same goes for 9/11. May those we lost live on in the memories of their loved ones. Never Forget.
You do not want to settle for any job. It has to be a career job.
You love social media: I remember seeing an actual, The Facebook at the University of Georgia. This yearbook-type publication is where they say Mark Zuckerberg got the idea for the platform while at Harvard. (If you watched the movie The Social Network, he could have stolen the idea. I guess we do not know)
You get confused by Instagram, wishing they taught you how to use it for business in school.
You did not have a hashtag at your wedding. (It wasn’t a very common thing when I married my husband in 2013.)
You may remember seeing rotary phones at Grandma’s house.
You avoid group texts. I am doing that right now, so I can have time to write this.
You prefer talking on the phone over texting.
You got your first phone at age 16 when you were able to drive on your own.
Nowadays, you hate listening to your voice mail.
You think chain letters/emails are the worst. Did you know they still exist? My friends broke the chain of a sticker club for my son once. We did not get any stickers in the mail. (but my son did get some from a friend in person)
You miss getting letters in the mail.
You still like to write things down even though it is easier to use your phone or computer.
You always have to look up how to spell emoji. Thanks, spellcheck.
Speaking of emojis, you overuse them. 🙂 ❤
Mom jeans are back in style, but they are not the ones you remember as a child.
You love skinny jeans. In middle school, you may have spent your own money on wide-leg jeans from the Limited Too.
You did not fly on an airplane until you were in elementary or middle school.
You grew out your bangs as a child. Now you have side bangs as an adult.
Your friends all have grey hair. (none yet for me, luckily)
You have tickets for Elton John so you can say you saw him before he “retires.”
Music shaped your childhood, and now you share that music with your children.
This list could go on forever, like the song that never ends…
I am sorry if you are singing that song right now. Ha!
I would love to know more about you all: my subscribers. Are you an older millennial? What else would you add to this list?
Sometimes your loved one’s traditions become your own. My husband grew up going to his Great Uncle Johnny’s lake house in Tennessee. Uncle Johnny and Aunt Mary (whom I never had the pleasure to meet) would always invite Ryan up to his lake house on the Emory River for a week in the summer over the Fourth of July. The property was near the Kingston Steam Power Plant. He started going once his grandfather, Johnny’s brother, passed away when my husband was ten years old. Uncle Johnny wanted to include Ryan in the family get-togethers and treated him like he was his grandson. Uncle Johnny never did have any kids or grand kids of his own.
Other family members would join in the week at the lake including his distant cousin Ron (Ronny), Ronny’s parents Roger and Sis, and his brother Mike and sister-in-law Tammy. They would go for rides in Roger’s boat, water-ski, tubing, and also take spins on Ronny’s jet-ski. Often, Ryan and Uncle Johnny would just drive around and do nothing, a term they liked to call “piddling.” Ronny and Ryan would often take a late-night trip to get a slushy at Sonic, get gas for the boats, and get items from the grocery store that they wanted. Aunt Mary passed away when Ryan was in high school and Uncle Johnny later remarried to Lena.
When my husband and I started dating in college, I was invited to go to the lake too. On the fourth of July in 2006, Ryan and I drove the four hours to Tennessee and four hours back in one day just to be there for the holiday. Ronny was the only guest there that day and we rode on his jetski and saw the boat races at the annual Smokin the Water Festival in Kingston. It was a wonderful day and got a glimpse at what Ryan was so fond of about lake life in Tennesee.
My first trip to the lake house with Ryan in 2006.
The next year, we spent a whole weekend at the lake with Ronny. We would spend our days out on the water. Uncle Johnny and his wife Lena were so kind to us. We had so much fun tubing on the lake and riding on the jetski all weekend. Ronny was always so fun to be around. He was a kind man who was always up for a good laugh. He and Ryan grew very close over the years. A few months after our weekend visit, Ronny visited Ryan and we all went to see the Charlie Daniels band at the Freedom Concert. Ronny and Ryan talked and kept up with each other over the years, and we always meant to visit more often. Then, something very unexpected happened to the lake.
Top Left: Johnny and Lena at the lake house. Middle: Jet-ski time 2007. Top Right: Ronny and me Bottom Left: Ronny and Ryan. Bottom Right: Uncle Johnny and Aunt Mary
On December 22, 2008, an ash spill at Tennessee Valley Authority plant in Roane County flooded the water at Uncle Johnny’s lake house. It was the largest coal ash spill in U.S. history. His lake property was ruined with ash sludge. Ryan’s dad owned the lot across the street from Johnny’s but had not put a house on it yet. His lake lot was also deemed unfit for use due to the ash spill. To learn more about the ash spill in Swan Pond click here.
The TVA bought out about 100 landowners near Lakeview Drive on the Emory River including Uncle Johnny and Ryan’s Dad. Uncle Johnny did not relocate to lake property, rather he bought a modular home in Rockwood, Tennessee with Lena.
Ryan’s dad looked all over for comparable lake property and ended up buying a lake lot on a different part of the river in Spring City, Tennessee. It is a small town that has one stoplight and doesn’t have a standalone McDonalds. (It’s attached to a gas station). The local grocery store is a small Piggly Wiggly and you have to drive 20 miles to reach a Wal-Mart. Spring City has grown on us. We now have a deep appreciation for the small town and what it has to offer.
In the fall of 2011, we found out that Ronny had passed away at the age of 43. He was taken from us much too soon. Maybe if the ash spill never happened, we would have gotten to get together with Ronny at Uncle Johnny’s one last time. We were busy with our jobs and life got in the way. Ronny will always have a special place in our hearts.
Ryan and I got married in 2013. A few years later, Uncle Johnny passed away. When our son Nathan was born in 2018, we decided to honor Johnny by naming him after Ryan’s Great Uncle. Nathan’s middle name is John after Uncle Johnny.
While I was pregnant with Nathan, Ryan’s Dad began construction on the lake house in Spring City. It was finally complete around the time Nathan was 10 months old. In April 2019, we stayed over at the lakehouse for the first weekend. The first of many weekend lake trips.
Nathan learned how to crawl during that first lake vacation. Must have been all the soft carpet in the living room! During another weekend trip, we took Nathan to meet late Uncle Johnny’s wife Lena. She loved meeting him and he loved exploring her home.
Every few months, we go to the lake house and make family memories. We love going there and now love sharing the love of swimming in the water with Nathan. We started a new tradition of taking porch pictures of the lake house. It was so neat to see how much Nathan grew from each visit to the lake house to the next. The last time we went to the lake house over this past Fourth of July, Nathan wanted nothing to do with the porch pictures. At age two, he is more interested in exploring than being held by mommy and daddy for a photo. He didn’t smile, but we finally got a decent shot or two on the porch.
Pictured are Porch Photos, Nathan with Gran, Pop and Lena, and Smokin the Water festival over the Fourth of July.
Last year, we went again to Smokin the Water in Kingston. They no longer had boat racing but it was still a fun festival. This year, the festival was canceled due to COVID-19. We still had fun shooting off fireworks in the cul-de-sac and watching the neighbor’s fireworks from the porch.
We are going up to the lake house again in a week with our friends who have a boat and we will all go riding and tubing on the lake. I love making memories with my family at the lake house and in the water in Tennessee. Nathan loves going to the lake house and asks to go there almost daily. I hope he will always have a love of going to the lake. I’m excited to see what the future may bring for our family and to have him grow up visiting the lake just like his Daddy did when he was a kid.
Our most recent trip to the lake. Enjoying the water/beach and a porch picture.
This past summer, my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to go on Honeymoon Israel. On a Honeymoon Israel (HMI) trip, you can “spend nine exhilarating, romantic and memorable days exploring Israel with your partner, while building friendship and community with other couples from your city.” The experience was like nothing else we had ever done. We bonded, explored, and made friends with couples like us who are now like family. Over six months has gone by since we got back from Israel, and we still get together with the other couples and enjoy the community. HMI welcomes couples with at least one Jewish partner early in their committed relationship. On our trip, almost every couple was interfaith, so we really had a lot in common. My husband and I were part of the first Atlanta trip to go on HMI.
During the trip, they encouraged us to take notes and journal about our experiences. Almost every night I would write down what we did that day and what I thought about it. I had planned to write a story about it and hopefully getting it published in the Atlanta Jewish Times, since I’m a freelance writer for that newspaper. After we returned home, I started writing a bulleted list of everything we did while referring to my HMI program we were given. It ended up being nine pages long. I used that to write my story and spent months working on it. I edited it down and then pitched the idea to my editor at the Atlanta Jewish Times. He decided to publish it and it went to print late December of 2016. My story was called “Honeymoon Israel: 9 Days to Last a Lifetime.” Click here to read the four-page spread in the travel section of the AJT (pages 62-65). Click here to read the online article.
There were so many things we did that I did not have room to share in my article, so I will share more of what we did in this list below.
Jerusalem:
When we first arrived, we had a welcome dinner with the New York Group. We heard from Avraham Infeld that evening as well as the next morning. Avraham Infeld is the President Emeritus of Hillel – the Foundation for Jewish Campus life. He talked about the five-legged table idea and that we are all family, the Jews. He touched on Jewish identity as well. “My vision for the Jewish People is to find a way to be unified without being uniform. We can achieve this vision by constructing a “five-legged table” which allows each person to choose at least three of the following legs to express their Jewish identity: memory, family, covenant, Israel and Hebrew.”
– Avraham Infeld
We joined our friends at a bar on Ben Yihuda Street. We walked down through the shook (market) and it was very interesting seeing all the bars and the people. During the day, the shook is an actual market where they sell fruits, veggies, spices, etc. It looks completely different I hear. I didn’t get a chance to go during the day.
Yad Vashem: The World Holocaust Remembrance Center
Touring this museum was very emotional for me, but I learned a lot.
The Avenue of the Righteous is dedicated to righteous gentiles who helped save/hide Jews during the Holocaust. There are trees dedicated to them throughout the complex and throughout Israel.
The Children’s Memorial: when you walk through it, it is like you are walking a night sky and see the stars. There is an audio recording that constantly plays the name of the children who died in the Holocaust along with where they were from. It is a very emotional piece of the museum.
Sea of Galilee:
We stayed at a hotel on a Kibbutz called Kibbutz Ginosar. We learned about the history of Kibbutz life and what it is like now. We learned about the women’s revolution regarding the children. It was interesting to know that children in a Kibbutz used to be raised by everyone. All money and goods were shared with everyone. It was very socialist. Now, about one third of Kibbutzim in Israel are still socialist.
We went to Mt. Bental and saw a panoramic view of the Golan Heights and looked from afar into Syria and Lebanon. The next day, we were told there was bombing in Syria that would have been visible from the Golan Heights.
We also went rafting down the Jordan River. There weren’t very many rapids, but it was still fun. We got stuck on rocks/ran into the shore and trees. It was very shallow water due to not enough rain. (I saw a picture of the Jordan River recently and it is much deeper now due to winter rains).
Tel Aviv:
On the way to Tel Aviv, we stopped and overlooked the ocean and went to Ceasarea, one of the land of Israel’s most important cities in the Roman period.
In Ceasarea, we saw the Herodian Theater, which is still in use today. The acoustics are awesome. Then, we saw the new excavations along the Mediterranean shore. It was so pretty to be right by the water. We put our toes in the sand and you could even see the tiled mosaic floors of the what was once the King’s quarters that lead to the sea. We also saw the arena where they raced horses. Our tour guide told us the history and made it feel like we were actually there in Roman times watching a horse race.
We did a beach cleanup project with the Zalul environmental organization. Zalul (“clear” in Hebrew) is one of Israel’s leading environmental NGOs. They are dedicated to protecting the seas and rivers in Israel.
We picked up trash on the beach. The sand was so hot, we had to bury our feet in the sand so they would not burn. Unfortunately, we got so much tar on our feet from the beach that we had to scrub it off at the hotel. I feel sorry for the maid who had to clean the tar residue from our bathtub!
While shopping in the Carmel market, we saw a woman in a shop down the street made a commotion. We think she was trying to steal. My husband saw a man kick the woman and then she caused a fight. We were very uncomfortable and left the shop as soon as we paid. We don’t know what they were yelling about because it was all in Hebrew.
The evening we flew out of Israel, we ate at a Georgian-Jewish restaurant called Racha for a late farewell dinner. It was in a historic building in Neve Zedek. It was so ornately and originally decorated with fine china dishes. They gave us dish after dish after dish. There was a lot of meat. I thought it was funny that they said “Chicken is not meat, its salad!” It was a ton of food and probably wasn’t the best meal to have right before a long plane ride. But, we enjoyed it and they had good hospitality.
We had such an amazing tour guide for our trip, Koren Eisner. He was very knowledgeable and taught us so many things. Even his voice was soothing to hear. While I was writing my story for the AJT, I asked around for quotes from various HMI staff and from Koren. He sent me a quote as a recording, and it was great to hear his voice. I couldn’t use it in my story because it was on a subject that I didn’t write about, but I thought I’d end this blog post with his quote. I asked Koren, how does the HMI tour differ from other tours that you usually do?
He said, “In my of my tour groups that I get, people are not just sightseeing, but are searching for something spiritually, religiously, culturally, historically, through a Jewish perspective, through a Christian perspective, through a Muslim perspective, etc. So, that is pretty much a motif. But, with the Honeymoon Israel groups, there is a certain sense of urgency because of the unique stage that the participants are in — getting married, having their first kids. These issues are on the table and need to be addressed. This sense of urgency creates lots of creativity. People come to these tours needing to work, needing to participate, to really have their own spiritual quest as individuals and as couples, and to the community. That is a very powerful thing, the productivity.
Another aspect is the way that people seek one another. You see the friendships, the bonding between people that happen in such a short time but go very deep because of the many things that participants share with one another. I guess it is the need to be a part of the greater community. That’s really inspiring to see. I’m truly grateful that I can play a role in such an amazing project.”
2016 has been an amazing year for my family and me so far. I can’t believe how lucky we all are and how many good things we have had happened to us. Things keep getting better and better. There are a lot of changes going on, but they are all positive ones.
Earlier this year, we found out that my brother and sister-in-law are expecting! I am going to be an aunt to a sweet baby girl! Plus, the baby is due on my birthday in September. Imagine that! At least we’ll share the same birth month if not the day. I’m very excited about what this means for my family. My parents are overjoyed to be grandparents and we’re deep into planning a baby shower for her this summer. But that’s not all….
As you may have read in my last post, we found our dream home! I won’t go into that in detail, but you can read all about it here. We plan to move into the house in a few weeks. First, we need to put carpet in. We’re so happy that we found a wonderful place to live and plan to stay there for many years. It sure is a great looking house on the inside and out! It feels strange to be a homeowner but also very good. We’re really grown-ups now!
Two days after they accepted the offer on our house, we were given a huge opportunity. To give you some background information, my husband and I applied for a trip called Honeymoon Israel (HMI) at the end of last year. Honeymoon Israel is a guided trip to Israel with 19 other couples, all from the same city, mainly geared at interfaith couples. We really wanted to go, and went through the interview process. There were two trips going to Israel from Atlanta through HMI this year and we really wanted to get on the May trip. We didn’t get picked to go on either trip, but we were put on the waiting list. We thought that we would never get to go this year. But, lucky us, a couple cancelled and they offered us the spot! When we first got the email that we could go on the trip, I was very doubtful. I mean, we just went under contract on a house. But, my husband assured me that it would be OK and that we couldn’t pass up this trip of a lifetime. We got the deposit paid and registered to go. Honeymoon Israel was an amazing experience and I’ll blog about it soon. But, it was awfully strange and crazy to go on a trip like this the day after we closed on our house. You can find more about Honeymoon Israel by clicking here.
If you think it couldn’t get any better, we have more great news for my family. My dad, who lives in Texas, had planned on retiring from his job in March of 2017. He was there with my mom temporarily for a job transfer. Well, his company decided to do a voluntary layoff. That means he’ll be able to work until November of this year and then get “laid off” with severance pay for a while. My dad was very glad to be giving this opportunity, especially with the baby coming. So, at the end of November, my parents will move back to Georgia for good.
Well, 2016 has been a fantastic year, and we’re only halfway through it. I can’t wait to see what else this year brings for us and for many more great years to come. May they keep getting better and better!
In November, I flew to Dallas/Ft. Worth to visit my parents. They are living in Texas temporarily for my Dad’s job, and it was really nice to see them. This wasn’t my first visit to the area. I went to Ft. Worth last year with my husband, brother and sister-in-law for a visit and was overall impressed with the Ft. Worth area. My parents live in a nice apartment and there are a lot of things to do there. This time, my husband and I went just us two and we really had an eventful long weekend with my Mom and Dad.
The first thing we did when we arrived was to go to the Gas Monkey Garage. You might be familiar with the show Fast and Loud about car restorations. They are located in Dallas, and although we couldn’t see anything because they were filming, it was still cool to be there. We visited the gift shop (which was quite expensive, in my opinion) and my husband bought some merchandise. Then, we headed over to the Gas Monkey Bar and Grill for lunch. Yes, they have a restaurant too. It’s only about a five minute drive from the garage itself and the food was really good. We decided to spend the whole day in Dallas since we were already there and then went on to our next activity.
If you ever get the chance to go to the George W. Bush Presidential Library, you should. We went there next and it was very interesting. When we arrived, we bought tickets and walked into the exhibit. As we were handing in our tickets, we saw Laura Bush herself, and she said hi to us! At first, I didn’t really realize it was her and then my parents told me. I think it’s great that she comes there regularly. I know former President George W. Bush was just there a few days before that for Veteran’s Day. The library was very cool and modern. It talked about everything from his life growing up in Texas, to his campaign, to his presidency, etc. There were a lot of short videos, and plenty of things to read on the walls and tables. They have a tribute to 9/11 and it was very moving. It actually made me cry and think back on that dreadful day in history. I composed myself and moved on to the next display. As part of the library, they have an exact replica of the oval office and it looked just as it did when Bush was in office. You could even sit at the desk and have your picture taken if you wanted. It was cool to see their outfits to state dinners and the gifts the Bush family was given during his term. Every gift a US president is given belongs to the American people. So, many of the gifts were on display in the library and outside in the lobby. I will have to visit more Presidential libraries in the future. Since this was the newest one, it must be the most modern and the nicest. What a great way to spend an afternoon in Dallas.
After the library, we met up with my cousin who I have not seen for 9 years! My parents have seen him quite often since they moved to Texas, but it had been a very long time since I had seen him. We went out for Mexican food and got a chance to catch up with him.
Dinner with my cousin
The next day, we enjoyed brunch at my parents and went for a walk on the trail by a river. That afternoon, we went to a store that specializes in cowboy boots called Cavender’s. I actually found a pair of cute cowboy boots that were comfortable and affordable. I am now the proud owner of some great cowboy boots!
Me and my Cowboy boots!
Close up of my boots
In the evening, we went to a Greek Festival put on by a local Greek Orthodox Church in Ft. Worth. The gyros, Greek fries and spanakopita were very tasty. After we ate dinner, we enjoyed some traditional Greek dancing. Everyone was in costume and they put on a good show. Later on, we went to the Ft. Worth Stockyards for a rodeo. This was my first rodeo experience, and it was quite a sight. The show itself was a little long — 2 ½ hours, but it was really exciting. I didn’t know there were that many types of events in a rodeo. It was cool to see the guys ride the bulls and horses. I kind of felt bad for the calves when they had to lasso, tie, and rope them. It was all harmless though. There were also events for women in the rodeo as well.
At the Greek Festival
During our time in Texas, we met some friends of my parents, went to the movies, a cool grocery store called Central Market, and ate some really good food. In Ft. Worth, they have some of my favorite restaurants that they don’t have in Georgia. We made sure to take advantage of visiting some of them. We had sandwiches at Potbelly and burgers, fries and a milkshake at In-N-Out Burger. Before we knew it, it was time to come home. Our long weekend trip with my parents was over. I will see my parents this month though when they come for the holiday break. We may go back to Texas sometime next year, but soon enough, my parents will move back to Atlanta and we will be moved out of their house and into a home of our own.
pieces of april blog 