Life after your Wedding: Advice for Newlyweds

February 24, 2014February 24, 2014 / azlotnik / Leave a comment

Picture taken waiting for our plane to Hawaii.

What should you do after your wedding? Once the planning, the organizing, dreaming, is over, what do you do next? You spent so much time getting ready for this day, but it is over in the blink of any eye. Are you having wedding planning withdrawals? It was a big part of your life for so long. You dreamed of your wedding day since you were a little girl. Depending on when you got engaged or started really deciding what you wanted your wedding to be like, you have been preparing for your big day for months if not years. Do you feel a void now that it is over? Some newlyweds do, but being married is an adventure in itself. Now you are on the next chapter of your life and you should enjoy every moment. Now that your wedding is over, look at it in this perspective: I don’t have to feel stressed anymore. No more seating charts or making favors. I can just sit and relax and enjoy being an Mrs. Enjoy being with my husband and establishing our lives as a married couple.

I planned for my wedding for quite a while. My husband and I have been together for over eight years, so I had plenty of time to dream of and plan for my wedding. I did most of the planning myself, only having a day of coordinator, but I loved every second of it. I made a binder, did my own research, and had a ball with it. Our wedding was the most wonderful day of our lives thus far. The wedding was a blast. The reception, the way everything turned out beautifully and, of course, the hora. People are still talking about it. As much as I enjoyed planning, I have to say I am glad it is over. I do remember mostly everything that happened on our special day, but it did feel like it was over in a flash. We had an amazing honeymoon. Read about it here and here. We have been married for about five months now and marriage is bliss. However, sometimes I do miss preparing for my wedding.

So what can you do to fill that void? Spend time with your spouse. That after all is the reason why you planned an amazing wedding. Go on dates regularly. Dating should not end after you say “I do.” Every couple needs that alone time and bonding with their husband or wife.

Once you get married, and you attend other weddings, it is really fun to just be a guest at a wedding. All the fun with none of the stress. If you are in the wedding, you kind of get to re-live your own wedding but with a different perspective. You can give advice and help plan for your friend’s wedding too. After all, you are now an expert!

Another thing that will fill the void of no longer planning a wedding is looking at your pictures or your video. I have made several photo books of our wedding and honeymoon. The best sites are: Shutterfly.com and AdoramaPix. You can also scrapbook your wedding photos. I am in the process of making the ultimate wedding scrapbook. By the time I finish it will be massive, but I love paper crafting. I am also making a scrapbook for my honeymoon and all the wedding events, including engagement photos, showers, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Cut costs down on your honeymoon scrapbook by taking brochures from all the places you went and things you did and cutting out pictures from those to have unique embellishments and then you don’t have to buy as many stickers. And there’s always looking through your wedding board on Pinterest. I just looked though mine and it was neat to see the transitions in my planning process and what I liked from my pins compared to how the aspects of my wedding actually turned out. Looking at that Pinterest board actually inspired this blog post.

My Wedding Scrapbook. Putting on my dress.

Another scrapbook page. Our first look.

Things to do as Newlyweds

Here are some things you should do after you tie the knot:

Enjoy your honeymoon: Spend time just the two of you somewhere tropical without the distractions of work/friends/family and the outside world.
Write thank you notes: Make sure to do this within a couple months of your wedding. It helps to do them as you get gifts. I did all the thank you notes myself because I wanted to, but ask your husband to write some of them to share the task.
Return the gifts you don’t want: Everyone gets gifts they wish they didn’t receive. It just happens. Going to the stores you registered and exchanging things you don’t want and getting the items off your registry that you really need/want. We still have credit to one store we registered at and don’t really need anything else. We really don’t know what to buy with it!
Change your name: I am still going through the process. It is a headache. Go to Social Security before DDS first since Social Security (at least in GA) does not accept paper licensees that you first receive at DDS. Your new license will be mailed to you. Don’t forget to bring your certified copy of your marriage certificate. The most trouble I’ve had with the name change is the banks. What a pain! Here is a checklist for changing your name from The Nest.
Review your vendors: I actually got a lot of free stuff for doing this. I got a free canvas print and a Shutterfly photo book. It makes your vendors feel great about the service they gave you, helps their business, and helps other brides planning. Not to mention it feels good letting your vendors know how much you liked them. I did reviews on Wedding Wire, WeddingChannel.com, and also sent emails to vendors as well as writing on their Facebook pages.
Preserve your wedding gown: I was told not to go to a dry cleaner. Go to a processional wedding gown preservationist. They will clean and preserve your dress. I couldn’t justify spending as much money as the gown preservation business I contacted charged, so I went a different route. I called the place I got my wedding dress at and they told me about Memories Gown Preservation. You buy a kit, pack up and mail your dress and accessories and in two weeks they mail you your preserved dress in a keepsake box. It will last for thirty years. Maybe one day my daughter will want to wear my mother’s veil that I also wore.
My preserved wedding dress!

Once you get engaged, everyone always asks you, “When’s the big day?” Once you get married, everyone asks you, “When are you planning on having kids?” I get asked this all the time, and it gets really old. The other day I stated that I was starving and a co-worker asked if I was pregnant. Some day down the road it will happen for us. We are not ready yet and want to live our lives, enjoy being married, and travel to Europe and other destinations before having kids. So, I know I speak for a lot of newlyweds when I say this- stop asking!

I hope this blog post gave some insight on life after the wedding. Wedding planning was a big part of your life for so long, so it’s natural to miss it. But what happens afterwards is something you want to cherish. So, enjoy married life and what’s to come!

Wedding Planning Jitters

August 15, 2013August 15, 2013 / azlotnik / Leave a comment

Our Venue: Villa Christina

According to my Knot.com site and my registries, T-Minus 45 days until we say I do! I look at that number and sort of freak out inside- Ack! Now, these jitters are not because I’m scared to get married — I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I’m nervous because there is so much left to do! Throughout my whole engagement (a little over a year), I have been planning, organizing and really on top of things. I booked all my vendors within ample time and created a wedding binder to house all of my ads, lists, notes and contracts. It is almost time for my big day and I’m nervous because now all the final things need to be done, such as song lists, songs for the wedding video, seating charts, timelines, and more. I did everything right on schedule, if not earlier, in regard to wedding planning, and I still feel like I’m behind. Luckily, my fiancé is staying calm, and I have a wedding coordinator to answer all my questions and help out in the planning process. Seems like all I do nowadays is email correspondence with my coordinator, event planner, and vendors so that I can get all my questions answered. But I am so excited to get married and I do love the planning process. I’m not meaning to complain, but it is a lot of stuff to do!

The picture that inspired our cake.

This part of the wedding planning is a bit harder than in the beginning of my planning process because now my parents are living in another state. With their move, we sped up signing all the contracts and such, but it is still hard to do some of the wedding tasks without them. My mother came in town for my bridal shower and we got a whole lot of things done for the wedding during that time. She stayed with us for over a week and we did all the programs, party favors, invitation stuffing, etc. We went through a whole lot of ribbon! I moved up my trial run for hair and makeup and my second fitting so that it could be for when my mom was in town for the shower. It was really nice to get a lot done, but since my mom lives far away, I have to do some of the remaining things on my own or with my Matron of Honor. My MOH is coming with me for my final dress fitting since my mom can’t make it. I will meet with the florist and will do the final walk through and planning session with the event manager for the wedding and my coordinator without the help of my parents. It has been a bit challenging not having my parents here, but it has also allowed me to be more independent. My parents are just an email or phone call away, so it’s not like I can’t get their help.

Similar flowers to our wedding flowers.

I can’t wait for my wedding! It will be such a fun and meaningful experience. Let’s just hope for no rain as we are having an outdoor ceremony! We recently met with the Rabbi and we went over what we will do in the ceremony, so that helped with the jitters. Just the final tasks to go and we are ready to get married! I’m really looking forward to my bachelorette party as it will be my one last fling before the ring! My bridesmaids are planning a great party for me. I couldn’t be happier with all the help I have gotten from everyone for my wedding. And we are really thankful for all the wonderful gifts we have received. September 29, here we come!

Cha Cha Cha Changes!

April 28, 2013 / azlotnik / Leave a comment

A while back, I wrote a piece I was very proud of for my blog. Then I read about a writing contest through “Narrative Magazine” where I could potentially win a lot of money and get my name out there. I was not able to post it on my blog until the decision was made on the winner. Unfortunately, I did not win, but now I get to share it with all of you! This is the story I wrote in early March:

Merriam Webster dictionary defines change as: “to give a different position, course, or direction to.”

We all go through changes in our lives, sometimes they just happen more often than you think. Personally, my life is changing right in front of me and in a big way. These changes not only affect me, they affect my family and my soon-to-be family. Change can be hard, but sometimes it is for the best. You have to embrace change and deal with what you have. After all, you only have one life and you must live it fully in the best way possible with whatever hand you are dealt.

I am having a very exciting time in my life — I’m getting married. Marriage is a change that you can only know once you have experienced it. So who better to ask about marriage than my married friends? Marriage changes your outlook on life. Instead of thinking about just you and looking out for number one, you are now a “We.” What’s his is yours and what yours is his. Marriage teaches you to be less selfish. It allows you to feel more secure in your relationship because it is going to last forever (ideally). It opens the lines for communication and allows your partner to share more than they would before. This is because of the bond that is now formed because you become one.

Planning a wedding is a full time job in itself. And I’m not even hiring a wedding planner! We do have a month-of coordinator, but I am mostly doing all the work myself. Finding and contacting vendors, getting recommendations, etc. I get a lot of help and opinions from my mom and friends, but it is mainly all on me. Its work, but it sure is fun! Less than 7 months to go! But our planning has to be in full swing much quicker because of some other changes going on. Due to my dad’s job transfer, my parents have to move to Dallas, Texas a few months before the wedding. That kind of threw a wrench in our planning, but we are making it work.

One good thing that will come from my parents’ temporary move is that my fiancé and I will be moving into their house in Marietta! We will get a chance to save some money and put those savings toward a house of our own one day. That will be a big change for us too, especially since the move is for only a year and a half. Most of their stuff will stay in the house but we are bringing some furniture with us. It may be a bit weird at first, but I think this is a good situation and we are very grateful to be able to do it.

My fiancé’s parents are also going through a similar change right now. His dad came out of retirement to move to Homestead, Florida and work at the nuclear power plant down there. He and my future mother-in-law moved into an apartment and had to undergo a lot of changes for the 9 months or so that he is working down there. The work requires him to work six 12-hour shifts. Seventy two hours a week, which is the maximum hours a person is legally allowed to work. It is taking a lot out of him and I know it is also hard on my fiancé and his mom. My fiancé and I have been checking on their house in Buford to make sure it is being kept up. Too bad they don’t have relatives living in their house like my parents will when they move.

If you didn’t think that was enough change- think again! My big brother recently got engaged! He and his fiancée (my future sister-in-law!) have been dating for almost three years and he finally popped the question. He proposed in the middle of the sidewalk after eating a nice dinner in their old neighborhood. I’m so happy to have her as a sister and excited that she is also one of my bridesmaids in my wedding! We are very excited for them and look forward to attending their wedding, which will probably be held early next year.

So, we are adding new family and merging families through marriage, and family is moving and dealing with different situations at the same time. But in the end, my family will be stronger and grow larger. Changes are hard at times but it is a fact of life. I’m looking forward to what these changes will bring in the years to come.

Happily Ever After

October 21, 2012 / azlotnik / Leave a comment

So, my blog has been on hiatus for a while and while I was not writing, I now have some news: I’M ENGAGED!

My fiancé did a good job picking out my ring; I love to watch it sparkle!

And now I have before me the daunting task of wedding planning. It is super fun but also can be really stressful. There are so many things to do and remember. But it is great to start the planning early. I’ve been engaged for a little over a month, and so far I’ve gotten a lot of things accomplished. The date, check! The venue, check! The ceremony officiant, check! A wedding day coordinator, check!

My wedding is about 11 months away, and so far I’m really ahead of the game. I’ve looked at Bridesmaid dresses with my MOH and have a day set aside to try on wedding gowns. I have a good idea of what my bridal party will wear and the colors of my wedding: yellow and gray.

There are a ton of wedding checklists out there, but the one I’ve found the most helpful is on The Knot.com. So far I have accomplished 13 of the tasks on there and have 159 to go. I’m making pretty good progress. Having a wedding coordinator really helps the process and gives you a piece of mind that everything will run smoothly through the time leading up to the wedding and especially on the big day.

Pinterest is a great source for wedding ideas including a lot of do-it-yourself crafts. I really love this idea for the centerpieces: lace and ribbon wrapped floating candle holders. I also love the idea of putting a picture of the bride and groom on the end of each aisle. The frame would have a ribbon tied to it and could be recent photos and photos of the bride and groom as children.

Here are some of my inspirations: