I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t plan on being one. I planned to return to work or find a new job where I felt more valued and had flexibility for a parent. Then my son was born prematurely, and I felt the need to stay home to keep him safe. I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone the entire day. It’s been five years, and I savor our time together. He will never be little again, and I feel blessed to be able to stay home.
As with most anything, there are positives and negatives to any situation. Staying home means spending all day in my pajamas with my kid sometimes. It means not always having a schedule (though I put my child on a daily schedule with naps and mealtime). It means we can go to the park whenever we want and hang out with friends often. On the other hand, I often felt isolated. Some days, we didn’t have anyone to see or any playdates. Those days often were boring and mundane. I would go to Target with my baby just to leave the house. I craved adult interaction, which I found in my moms’ group, but I would still watch the clock waiting for my husband to get home from work. Mothers sometimes lose their purpose after having kids, especially stay-at-home moms. I know I’m still looking for mine.
When my son turned 2 (in 2020), I jumped at the chance of putting him in preschool a few days a week. I couldn’t sit at home with him all day every day and wait until my husband got home from work. The pandemic was very hard on everyone. I feel lucky that I was isolated for only two months. Living in Georgia, our state opened up earlier than most. I went to the park with my moms’ group and interacted with friends. We were nervous and worried about getting COVID but were going crazy staying in our homes all the time without anyone other than our young children. Zoom playgroups do NOT work. I know from experience!
Those parents who stayed home every day with their kids and saw no one in person, I don’t know how you did it. Those who did virtual school AND worked a the same time, I applaud you. They were trying times, and I think we all did what we did to survive. I’m so thankful we are in our new normal.
It was a hard decision to put my son in preschool during COVID. Being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing but also can be very isolating. My child is a handful sometimes, and I needed a little break to get errands and housework done without interruption and see a friend or two. He loves school, and I don’t regret a thing.
Babies don’t keep. My son recently turned FIVE, eek! He graduated Pre-K in May. Adjusting from attending school three days a week to five was hard on me. He is my only child, and I do not work outside the home (yet). You wouldn’t think four hours a day of free time is a bad thing. (Well, less than that because I spent a LOT of time driving back and forth from his preschool, which is far from our house.) I have been struggling to find things to fill up my time.
My Son’s First Day of Preschool.Nathan playing at school.Preschool Graduation
I’m lonely. I try to stay busy and see friends, run errands, do laundry, read books, write and journal, etc. I do all these things, yet I STILL feel lonely. I crave social interaction, and isolation is not healthy for me.
Going into the last school year, I knew I needed to volunteer or find a job. Things didn’t work out where I felt I could work. I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and putting myself back out there is hard. Here we are as another school year approaches, and I’m still unsatisfied. I’m still lonely. I still don’t have a sense of purpose other than “just a mom.”
My husband and I decided that I would look for a job in the fall once our son enters kindergarten and we get used to the new routine. I get to enjoy one more summer with our son before I go back to work, likely part-time. With mental health struggles, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Health is so important, and I’m scared to re-enter the workplace. I’m nervous about handling a new job when feeling down or depressed. I’m scared of what the added stress will do to my health. But deep down, I know I can do it. I worked for over ten years before leaving the workplace to focus on my family. Now is the time.
A few years ago, I wrote a piece, “More Than Just Mom.” This quote from that article still resonates with me today.
“From this point going forward, I’m going to set a goal for myself. I’m going to start focusing on myself. This doesn’t mean I won’t give my all as a mother, because I will. It means I need to start practicing self-care and recreating my sense of identity. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish this yet. Maybe it involves reconnecting with my hobbies. Maybe, it involves writing more often in publications like this one. It may look like taking a class or getting a part-time job. It could be as simple as reconnecting with friends I have lost touch with. This journey is mine and mine alone. I know that whatever I decide will be the right choice for me.”
Now, I’ll take my advice.
Maybe, I’ll return to school for a continuing education course involving writing or social media marketing. I don’t want to go back to being a secretary, but most of my full-time work experience is in administration. I have a degree in journalism, but it’s challenging to get a writing job that is not freelance. Though, I did my fair share of freelance work.
Working part-time, will I have time to work, finish housework, and have the best of both worlds? Hopefully, I’ll be home when my son gets off the bus from school. We shall see.
I look forward to where I’ll be a year from now, to see how far I’ve come and what I will accomplish. Here’s to the future and what it may bring!
You have a million tasks to do. How do you accomplish each
one and not lose track? Write it down! Make a list. Keep up a calendar or an
agenda. This has always been how I stay organized.
I’ve always been a list maker. Just ask my mom. I used to
make lists for everything. I even have written a list of outfits I was going to
wear during the week. (In my defense, I was in high school.) I have even
written, “take a shower” on a list. Usually, my tasks are more substantial,
but- hey whatever works to get everything accomplished!
From Paper Planner to Google Calendar
In college, I had a paper planner and wrote everything down in it. It contained all of my assignments and my social calendar. As things got digital, I tried using Google calendar. I have been regularly putting in appointments in my Google Calendar since 2015. For a while, it was working great as my only calendar. I like how it works seamlessly from the computer to your phone.
A basic planner
Google Calendar example
Recently, my husband and I synced our calendars. He was
getting tired of checking with me to see if we had any plans or if I was busy
doing something. It works great! I am a member of several different
organizations and those also use Google Calendar. Someone in the organization
who has access to the calendar can type in an event and it will show up on
every member’s personal Google Calendar. I can see all my events from my
sorority alumnae association and my MOMS Club, but my husband can’t. We can see
only the events we personally put in there. Group events are separate.
Google calendar was working great for my calendar but not
really for my to-do list. I knew I needed to make a change, which brought me to
the next step in my path for getting organized.
The Bullet Journal
I am such a list maker. I was tired of having a million post-it notes everywhere, especially at work. I needed a way to keep organized that I could write down. There’s something about writing things down that keeps you more committed to the task. I knew I wanted a paper planner again. So, I did a lot of research. I looked at the Happy Planner and many other types of manual agendas, but ultimately I settled on the Bullet Journal. I no longer use a bullet journal, but I had fun with it when I did.
Two years ago, I read an article in a magazine that I used to work for. It was about how the author used her Bullet Journal and had a couple pictures of some of her spreads. It shared the website BulletJournal.com and I went to the website and checked it out.
According to BulletJournal.com, “Bullet Journal (or BuJo for
short) was created by Ryder Carroll, a digital product designer and author
living in Brooklyn, NY. Diagnosed with learning disabilities early in life, he
was forced to figure out alternate ways to be focused and productive. Through
years of trial and error, he developed a methodology that went far beyond
simple organization.”
A BuJo motto is “The Analog Method for the Digital Age.” It
is a system for taking notes, keeping track of events and getting organized. I
won’t get into the basics of how Ryder suggests you go about doing that, but
you can find out more about it on his website.
What I liked about the BuJo is the ability to personalize it and make it your own. One thing I especially loved is the variety and endless possibilities of the collections. Collections are ways to organized related information. The basic collections in a BuJo are The Index, Future Log, Monthly Log, and the Daily Log. Ryder explains these in detail on his website. What I enjoyed creating was collections about anything and everything that was helpful to me. I made collections called: Books to Read, Weight Tracker, TV/ Movies & Streaming, Medical Appointment Log, Holiday Gift List/Ideas, etc. It could really be anything you wanted.
There were also ways to incorporate habit trackers into your
BuJo, which really keep you accountable for making better choices. You could
perhaps create a collection for habit tracking or you could add it to a regular
logging page. I kept the basic core collections of the BuJo, but instead of
doing a daily log, I kept a weekly log and had space for each day. I made
creative spreads using a ruler, nice colorful pens, stickers, stencils, colored
pencils and washi tape. It became a creative form of expression for me as well
as a way to keep organized. It really became addicting and I found myself
writing in it more and more. As time went on and the busier I became at work, I
found that I didn’t have all the time I wanted to devote to my BuJo and would
have to spend evenings and weekends working on my spreads. This is something I
wasn’t willing to do long-term.
BuJo Supplies when I first started out
Supplies I bought: Ruler The Official Bullet Journal Notebook Washi Tape (really just fancy paper tape used for decoration. I have tons) Colored pens (I found that the kind by Micron are my favorite) Stickers (Lots and lots of stickers) Stencils (For drawing shapes when you can’t really draw) Colored pencils Pretty Post-it notes Dual Brush pens (Hardly ever used these, sadly) Probably even more things that I am forgetting
When creating a BuJo, all you need is a notebook and a pen to start. But, I went all out and bought the items mentioned above. At the time, I thought I really needed EVERYTHING! Now, it’s just sitting in a bag somewhere in my house…
Collection called: TV, Movies and StreamingWeekly/Daily Log exampleMonthly Log Example
One thing about Bullet Journaling that most newbies don’t think about is the community of BuJo enthusiasts that are out there. Between Facebook groups and blogs, you can get so many suggestions, ideas, inspiration and help with Bullet Journaling. I joined a group on Facebook called Bullet Journal Beginners and it was very helpful. There is also a really popular one called Bullet Journal Junkies. Many others make blogs and send out monthly emails about Bullet Journaling including Ryder himself. It is all very helpful and informative.
I was very happy with it for a long time, but I liked to do
it very artistically and creatively, which got too time-consuming. It got to be
too much and I later stopped my BuJo. Then I became very disorganized and was
back to square one. I thought, there has to be a better way. I considered
someone pre-making my BuJo and then filling it in. But, I didn’t want to pay
anyone and it didn’t seem logical. The creator of the Bullet Journal wanted
everything to be simple. He created it so that it could be kept up with consistently
without much effort. Then, people who adopted his planner/journal method came
up with all these other more creative collections and ways to decorate the
pages. It strews from the origin of the Bullet Journal itself. Like I mentioned
before, I prefer the more artistic method to making a BuJo, but I couldn’t keep
up with it. So, I began researching again.
Passion Planner
That’s when I found the Passion Planner. Now, I considered other options before purchasing a Passion Planner, such as the Scribbles that Matter Bullet Planner, an Erin Condren LifePlanner, the Happy Planner or a Commit30. But, I think what really hooked me was that they were having a flash sale and I just happened to be on the website at the right time. I spent a fraction of what a Passion Planner costs and tried something new. I was so excited for my Passion Planner to come in the mail. It was already April when I got my Passion Planner, so I started from the beginning of that month and left the beginning of my journal blank (which started in January).
My Passion Planners
Let’s take a moment to talk about the company itself and its founder, Angelia Trinidad.
According to Passionplanner.com, “We’ve all been there: uncertain about what to do in life and unsure about the next step. When Angelia Trinidad faced this anxiety after graduating from college in 2012, she decided to do something about it. She designed the Passion Planner, a personal organizer to help you simplify your life and focus on what really matters.
Since then, Passion Planner has grown into a worldwide
community of dreamers, planners, and achievers. We’re dedicated to helping
everyone follow their passions. As a Get One, Give One company, every planner
purchased lets us give one to someone in need. We partner with nonprofit
organizations to support causes from education to preserving our planet.”
Weekly Spread Example
There are different components of a Passion Planner. Everything is laid out on the page for you so all you have to do is fill in. There are also blank pages in the back to use for whatever you like. It’s more than a planner; it’s also a goal setting guide, appointment calendar, sketchbook, gratitude log, journal, and a sketchbook. It has personal and work to-do list outlines and weekly and daily focus. You may use it however you wish and be as creative or as minimalist as you like.
When I first started my passion planner, I was working full-time. I used my planner to plan personal and work projects and set goals. I also make to-do lists and frequently used my “space of infinite possibility” found on each weekly spread and other areas throughout the planner. I used to decorate my Passion Planner with stickers I bought from my BuJo days. You can be creative and add stickers and “flair” but you can also be simple and just fill out the pages. Now that I’m a Stay-at-home-mom, I use my Passion Planner much differently. It helps me keep up with my schedule. I’m in a MOMS Club, so we have different events throughout the week as well as my other appointments and plans going on. I also use it to keep track of my chores around the house, my to-do list and occasionally my shopping list. There is a “Good things that Happened this week” space in each weekly spread and I use that to record my son’s milestones. It is really helpful to do this each week so I can write it in my son’s baby book each month. I’m sure I will love looking back on this part of my planner in the future.
At the beginning of each Passion Planner, there is a Passion Roadmap for goal setting. You list goals and due dates for completion in 3 months, One Year, 3 years and for your lifetime. It is really helpful to keep you on track. Each month there is also a space for a mind map of tasks to do that month. I did the one at the beginning of the book last year, but not this year. It is something I keep meaning to do. There is also an end of the month reflection for each month of the year in the Passion Planner. I’ve never filled out the end of the month reflection, but I would imagine it would be helpful.
How Passion Planner WorksA Blank Passion Roadmap
There are blank pages in the back of the planner that you can make into anything you want. I went back to my BuJo days and made a collection type page for Holiday Gifts to buy last holiday season. It really helped that my gift ideas were all in one place.
A lot of people use the Passion Planner and it is very beneficial. They have an academic version and an undated as well that come in a variety of sizes and colors. You can check out their website for their latest planners.
That pretty much sums up how I have and currently use productivity tools in everyday life to keep organized. I hope it has helped you learn more about a few different products that will help you stay on task and be productive. What types of things do you use to manage your time and achieve your goals?
Life after High School and College: When Your Social Life Turns into Your Work Life
In this blog entry, I want to share a common problem most twenty something college graduates may have. For me, college and high school now seem like such a long time ago. My ten year high school reunion is creeping up on me and, a little over four years ago, I graduated from college. After college, when I joined the working world with a full time nine to five, I noticed that my social life had dwindled. Not that it went away completely, but I was going to less social engagements and work seemed to take up more of my life. The sorority events, fraternity parties, and homecomings turned into deadlines, business emails, and life spent at the computer. I suspect this happens to a lot of college graduates when they enter the work force. In college, I was in a sorority and between that, school, dating, and my part time job, I was incredibly busy. Once I changed over that tassel on my graduation cap, my social calendar somewhat declined. But, if you want to have a good balance between work life and social life, you have to plan for it.
My Graduation from KSU
It’s hard to be as busy socially when you have a full time job that requires you to wake up at the crack of dawn and go to work every weekday. For me, and my current job, I work four 10-hour days. You try having dinner with friends and getting in time for a workout when you get off at 7 p.m. every day! For me, a good benefit is having three day weekends and never having to work on a Monday. This brings me to my next point—take advantage of your weekends! Having three days instead of two allows for weekend trips and makes it easier when you go on vacation. But, if you only have two days, you need to make the most of them. Unless you work from home on the weekends sometimes, these are your two days to relax, unwind, and have fun with friends and family. Get out there and have some fun!
One thing that has made my life busier is joining my sorority alumnae association. We have events several times a month, so it brings back that sense of togetherness and added social time. As the twenty somethings get to be closer to thirty, life gets busier with co-habitation, marriage and having children. But, while most of us don’t wish to go back in time and relive our college years, you still sometimes miss staying out all night partying when your alarm goes off bright and early at 6 a.m. for work. Well, back to the grind…